January 2024 THIS EDITION OF THE MAGAZINE IS BROUGHT YOU BY: IT TAKES LITTLE TO BE BIG. BBBSCI CEO SHARES HOW YOU CAN BE BIG!
WRITERS & STAFF CONTRIBUTORS Donnetta Austin Debra Carr Courageous Fire Celeste Lawson Gary Lawson Caleb Thomas Lenore Metrick-Chen Editor-In-Chief Dwana Bradley Creative Director Nikki Goldman LosRos Graphix LosRos.com Gianni Berry Bert Moody Lori Young MAGAZINE OUTLETS Ankeny Kirkendall Library 1250 SW District Drive Ankeny, Iowa 50023 Altoona Public Library 700 Eighth Street SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 Central Library 1000 Grand Ave, Des Moines, IA 50309 DMACC Urban Campus 1100 7th Street, Des Moines, IA 50314 Drake Diner 1111 25th Street, Des Moines, IA 50311 Eastside Library 2559 Hubbell Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50317 Evelyn Davis Center 801 Suite #3, University Ave, Des Moines IA 50314 Forest Library 1326 Forest Ave, Des Moines, IA 50314 Franklin Library 5000 Franklin Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50310 Johnston Library 6700 Merle Hay Rd. Johnston, Iowa 50131 Northside Library 3516 5th Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Neighborhood Finance 4908 Franklin Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50310 Ruby B's Kitchen 4121 Fleur Drive, Des Moines, Iowa 50321 Senior Polk County 2008 Forest Ave, Des Moines IA 50314 Slow Down Coffee Co. 3613 6th Avenue, Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Southside Library 1111 Porter Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50315 The Great Frame Up 5515 Mills Civic Parkway Suite #150, West Des Moines, IA 50266 The Playhouse 831 42nd Street, Des Moines, Iowa 50312 The Zone of Comfort - Life Balance Center 3829 71st Street B-1, Urbandale, Iowa 50322 Urbandale Public Library 3520 86th Street, Urbandale, IA 50322 Urbandale Chamber of Commerce 2830 100th Street, Suite 110, Urbandale, IA 50322 West Des Moines Library 4000 Mills Clive Pkwy, West Des Moines, Iowa 50365 Henderson's Highland Park Funeral Home 3500 6th Avenue Des Moines. Iowa 50313
SUMMARY 4 EDITORS MESSAGE 6 A NEW YEAR A NEW YOU! 11 A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION TO REDUCE YOUR RISK OF DEMENTIA 12 IT TAKES LITTLE TO BE BIG 24 EXPLORING LOVE LANGUAGES 9 12 24 *PHOTO CREDIT TO PEXELS AND FREEPIK 3 28 THE BENEFITS OF DECLUTTERING SPACES MIND & BODY CONNECTION 32 PRESS RELEASE
GET THE URBAN EXPERIENCE Happy New Year! The year 2023 is behind us. We now say hello to 2024. What are your goals, hopes, and accomplishments you will achieve this year? I am excited to announce a new podcast I will be starting this year. I have had a wonderful time on Urban Impact Show and learned much about myself and grown in the work. It can be challenging to step out and do something on your own especially if doing something yourself can draw criticisms and critiques. I was listening to Pastor Mike Todd’s sermon titled. "Triumph over Trauma." The premise of his message was when you try, you are exercising your faith. As a young girl I did everything I could to please others. I did not embrace conflict and wanted everyone to get along. There are times in your life when trauma can be experienced. Trauma according to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) is a physical, cognitive, and emotional response caused by a traumatic event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced as harmful or life-threatening. As Pastor Mike Todd was sharing his sermon he talked about when one experiences trauma it can cause fear which can be paralyzing and stop you from living out your purpose. Listening to his words caused me to think about the moments in my life when trauma was endured. There are things I know I should be doing, but fear is a real thing. As I continued to listen to his words tears started to stream down my eyes as I reviewed my life in my mind. Upon completion of his sermon, I found myself saying out loud, “Trauma took my ability to try, but today Lord I am open to trying again, so here I go not letting past hurt stop me from trying again.” What is it that is holding you back? It is my prayer in 2024 that you will try again. You never know what doors will open and what God has in store for you if you stop trying. We at Urban Experience Magazine wish you all the best in 2024. Make sure to watch out for our newest podcast: "This is not my Show" coming to you this month along with all of the latest Iowa Juneteenth 2024 events. As a good friend of mine always says, “Our best is yet to come!” 2024 is yours, make it your best ever. Blessings, Dwana Bradley
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A NEW YEAR A NEW YOU! Mental Health: Written by: Caleb Thomas, M.A. LMHC Hello Urban Experience Readers, If you are reading this article, Praise Jesus, you have been blessed to see the beginning of a New Year. Tomorrow as the bible tells us is not promised to any of us. There are numerous ways to die, but after death comes the judgment, which determines your eternal destiny, although it has taken me a while I have come to the realization this world we call earth is temporary, and I have a life I will live for an eternity with God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit, I hope to see you there, however, not any time soon. This New Year I’m Thankful for success, as well as failure, you may be wondering why are you thankful for failure, well I’m Thankful for failure because failure is a wake-up call to do better and to get back up and try again. God didn’t design us to be failures do happen, he called us to be more than conquerors. Some of these failures you may or may not be able to relate to, but as I think about my failures over the past few years I think about being fired unjustly, being divorced, having estranged relationships and division with my child, having to shut down a non-profit I created all while going into debt trying to keep it afloat, being out of shape and overweight to the point of health issues that nearly ended in a stroke, a heart attack or even death. This doesn’t include dealing with external factors such as my mom’s declining health, and the grief and loss and depression from the death of a loved one. Last year I titled my article Congratulations You Did It. In this New Year I want you to envision what the New Year looks like for a New You. It is important to acknowledge your failures whether internal or external, and after addressing them think about where do you want to be, by the end of 2024. St John 17:21 tells us that we can be one with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, therefore we can do all things through Christ who Strengthens us. So you may be asking how do I turn my failures into success. First recognize most times it doesn’t happen overnight, but it takes a process, sometimes months, or even years, but you begin by chipping away and making gradual changes. The first thing I had to do was stop mumbling and complaining, we’re familiar with the saying don’t cry over spilled milk, well I say cry but then move on, don’t continue to allow that to be your only focus, and realize mistakes happen circumstances happen life happens and take responsibility for what was your part, learn to acknowledge that and repent and ask God for forgiveness and potentially the individual for forgiveness. For things out of your control again realize in this life we will have to deal with suffering, and we don’t get a chance to choose our suffering, but
7 WAKE UP CALL
no matter what your suffering is don’t give up, and realize Jesus sent the Holy Spirit as our comforter for that particular reason, and remember to ask for the help of the Comforter in the good times and in the bad times. It’s a New Year and it’s time to begin seeing the New You, so continue to celebrate your small victories, and don’t make a resolution, but make a declaration, by the authority and power of God in the name of Jesus that this is the year of a New me, and as you begin to see these small gains they eventually become bigger gains that you will begin to realize, I’m not going back there again, but I’m only going to keep moving forward because it feels Amazing. Realize there are some things you’re not able to change because they were never in your control, but the things that are in your control begin to work on those changes, and you will begin to see the New You, and I guarantee you’re going to begin appreciating the changes. As always remember Thomas & Associates is here to support you in your endeavors in becoming a New You. I look forward to hearing about your new changes, always know you can send us an email, we’d love to hear from you, and we are available to support you in the various means of support we offer, give us a call and we look forward to hearing from you. Happy Blessed New Year! Sincerely, Caleb Thomas M.A. LMHC 319 206-0651 caleb@thomasacc.com thomasacc.com Thomas & Associates Counseling & ConsultingCounseling with a God given purpose! Do you want to be on the cover or centerfold? Sponsor an edition of Urban Experience MaGazine! Contact us today: iaurbanmedia18@gmail.com
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ALZHEIMER
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION: IOWA CHAPTER A New Year’s Resolution to Reduce Your Risk of Dementia By Alzheimer’s Association As people ponder their 2024 New Year’s resolutions, the Alzheimer’s Association is encouraging everyone to include activities to reduce their risk of dementia and increase brain health on the list. Research shows that healthy lifestyle interventions may help reduce the risk of dementia. There are currently more than 6 million Americans age 65 and older living with Alzheimer’s, including 66,000 in Iowa. Unfortunately, Black and African Americans are 2 times more likely to develop Alzheimer’s or dementia as they age compared to older white Americans. Age is the greatest risk factor for Alzheimer’s disease. In fact, 1 in 3 seniors age 85 and older will have Alzheimer’s disease. While some brain changes are inevitable as we age, there is a growing body of research to suggest that adopting healthy lifestyle behaviors, including healthy eating, exercising regularly, not smoking and staying cognitively engaged may help us age healthier and help reduce the risk of cognitive decline. Several studies on risk reduction generated considerable attention in recent years, including one that found eating a large amount of ultraprocessed food can significantly accelerate cognitive decline. Another study suggests that regular physical activity, even modest or low exertion activity such as stretching, may protect brain cells against damage. THE ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION OFFERS THESE FIVE TIPS TO REDUCE THE RISK OF COGNITIVE DECLINE: 1. EXERCISE REGULARLY — Regular cardiovascular exercise helps increase blood flow to the body and brain, and there is strong evidence that regular physical activity is linked to better memory and thinking. 2. MAINTAIN A HEART-HEALTHY DIET — Stick to a meal schedule full of fruits and vegetables to ensure a well-balanced diet and limit the amount of ultraprocessed foods like soft drinks, chips, hot dogs or candy. Some evidence suggests a healthful diet is linked to cognitive performance. The Mediterranean and DASH diets, which emphasize whole grains, green leafy vegetables, fish and berries, are linked to better cognitive functioning, and help reduce risk of heart disease as well. 3. GET PROPER SLEEP — Maintaining a regular, uninterrupted sleep pattern benefits physical and psychological health, and helps clear waste from the brain. Adults should get at least seven hours of sleep each night and try to keep a routine bedtime. 4. STAY SOCIALLY AND MENTALLY ACTIVE — Meaningful social engagement may support cognitive health, so stay connected with friends and family. Engage your mind by doing activities that stump you, like completing a jigsaw puzzle or playing strategy games. Or challenge yourself further by learning a new language or musical instrument. 4. KEEP YOUR HEART HEALTHY — Recent study shows strong evidence that a healthier heart is connected to a healthier brain. The study shows that aggressively treating high blood pressure in older adults can help reduce the development of mild cognitive impairment (MCI). Incorporating these behaviors become especially important as we age, but they are good guidelines to follow at any age. Research suggests that incorporating these behaviors in combination will have the greatest benefit, but even if you begin with one or two you’re moving in the right direction. To learn more about ways to reduce your risk of cognitive decline by making lifestyle changes, go to alz.org. 11
IT TAKES LITTLE TO BE BIG Written by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Iowa CEO- Bridget Cravens-Neely Entering this new year is special for our organization. Every January is National Mentoring Month. As the premier youth mentoring organization, Big Brothers Big Sisters across the country are celebrating the work we do, the people we support (our Bigs), and those we serve (our Littles) in our respective communities. BBBS of Central Iowa is excited to be featured in this month’s Urban Experience Magazine to highlight the who, what, when, where, and how of our agency. For more than 50 years, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Iowa (BBBSCI) has been dedicated to serving youth (Littles) by matching them with caring and dependable adults (Bigs) in Polk, Dallas, and Warren counties. By partnering with parents/guardians, volunteers, and others in the community, BBBSCI works to ensure each child achieves higher aspirations, greater confidence, and better relationships. This is why we celebrate National Mentoring Month. It allows us to elevate and amplify the importance of mentoring through advocacy and celebration. Throughout January, BBBSCI will spotlight our Bigs by showering them with Thanks for all they do. We encourage our Littles and their families to show their appreciation of our Bigs as well. We welcome the opportunity to speak about the power of mentorship at company events, business meetings, and lunch-and-learns. We will also host our annual Big Little Game Show on January 11th when we invite the community to witness the impact of mentoring firsthand (keep reading this article for more details). Youth in our community have faced tremendous challenges over the last 18+ months, making them even more susceptible to risky behaviors that can affect their future. While mentoring is not the only solution, it is a critical part of the solution. Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Iowa is committed to serving our youth by creating and supporting one-to-one mentoring relationships that ignites the power and promise of these youth. We are determined to find caring adults to help every youth reach their full potential. In the following pages you will read about some of our outcomes like helping 13 of our Littles graduate high school, launching two new programs to reach more youth who need and want our services, expanding our team to reach more adults in the community who are willing to answer the call to serve, and offering more subsidized or free match activities to help Bigs and Littles connect. I know personally that mentoring works because I am the product of youth mentoring. I didn’t have a formal program like Big Brothers Big Sisters growing up. My mother was a single parent who built a village around me with mentors. Most of them were women and were diverse in every sense (age, ethnicity, occupation, life experience, background, socio-economic status, etc.). What they had in common was their desire to see me reach my full potential and succeed in life. This is what mentoring does for young people. It gives hope. It allows dreaming. It gives confidence and provides security. This is my why for being a mentor. This is my why for joining BBBSCI. I have a responsibility to reach out and pull in the youth who are willing to grasp my hand. “I got matched with my Little Sister Kiera this fall!” I hope you enjoy this opportunity to get to know us. You will meet our staff and our board members. These are the people who work long hours and volunteer their time, talents, and treasures to help us to fulfill our mission. You will learn more about all our programs. You will see highlights about our Bigs of the Year - two individuals who consistently go the extra mile to support their Littles and our agency. We choose new Bigs of the Year annually. You will also learn about our campaigns that are underway to help us not only recruit new mentors but also raise funds for our new Youth Mentoring Center (due to open in Summer 2024).
BRIDGET CRAVENS-NEELY
Celebrating NATIONAL MENTORING MONTH What is it? National Mentoring Month- developed by MENTOR™ in 2002- is an annual celebration in January that recognizes and raises awareness for the power of mentoring, with a national call to action to recruit new mentors. Calls to Action Share a Moment: Share personal stories of mentorship and experiences on social media. Give a Little Time: Sign up to be a “Big”- you don’t have to be perfect, just present. Dates to Remember Celebrate these special dates during National Mentoring Month by posting on social media! Use the hashtags: #BeBig and #bbbsci. January 7: I Am A Mentor Day. Share why you chose to become a mentor. January 11: Our Big Little Game Show at Grand View University’s Viking Theatre. Get your free tickets now. January 15: Dr. Martin Luther King Day of Service. Honor the life and legacy of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, follow his philosophy of service. January 21: Thank Your Mentor Day. Show your appreciation for the mentor and/or mentee in your life! Facebook: BBBSCI Let’s be friends! Follow BBBSCI on: LinkedIn: Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Iowa Instagram: BBBSCI BE BIG: Donate to BBBSCI and reach more young people with lifechanging mentorship opportunities. JANUARY 2024
OUR SERVICES Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Iowa (BBBSCI) provides mentoring services at no cost for youth and young adults in Polk, Warren, and Dallas Counties. Each match is professionally supported by BBBSCI Match Support Specialists. Child Enrollment Volunteer Recruitment Mentor Enrollment Match Support Core Mentoring Programs Community-Based School-Based Workplace Mentoring Initiatives I Am Enough Group Mentoring Future Pathways Sports Buddies Iowa Big Sister of the Year- Janae Gray The word, sisterhood, truly resonates with Big Sister Janae Gray when thinking of her relationship with Little Sister Kaytlynn (age 15). Janae didn't grow up with any siblings, and Kaytlynn didn't have a sister so they really connect on that level of sisterhood. Matched since 2020, Janae says that Kaytlynn has been really inspiring in that she can show up and be positive. What makes Janae special to Kaytlynn is her kindness and understanding. Iowa Big Brother of the Year- Travis Gorsch Volunteering as a Big to Little Brother Tyler has helped Travis Gorsch rediscover his passion for mentorship and get outside of his comfort zone. Being the youngest of 5 siblings, Travis now has the opportunity to have a "little brother" by mentoring Tyler (age 15). They have been matched since 2020. Tyler calls Travis one of the best friends he could ever ask for. He can go to Travis with anything he needs and counts him as a good influence on his life. 15
OUR IMPACT Over the past year at 570 Youth served in mentoring programs Match Support Specialists made over 6,000 phone calls to Littles, Bigs, & families Hosted match activities for over 2,000 Bigs, Littles, and families 89% of Littles in our mentoring programs Expanded mentoring programming FUTURE PATHWAYS felt they had a caring adult in their lives 61% of youth from communities of color (Black, LatinX, AAPI, Indigenious) Attended 25 community awareness/recruitment events
OUR STAFF Bridget Craven-Neely Chief Executive Officer Ben Chiochon Director of Fund Development Tony Leo Director of Programs Amina Cannie-Hall Manager of Operations Jada Alexander Sara Bishop Substance Abuse Prevention Mentoring Coordinator Marketing & Communications Manager Grace Breiholz School-Based Mentoring Coordinator Nathan Brooks Agency Brand Ambassador Jay Hall Mentor Recruitment & Engagement Coordinator Sergi Henriquez Match Support & Child Enrollment Specialist Tristan Hines Workplace Mentoring Coordinator Emma Kolpek Danielle Moss Match Support Specialist Volunteer & Recruitment Coordinator Ahmed Musa Future Pathways Program Coordinator Lauryn Nystrom Fund Development Manager Andrea Pinkney Match Support & Child Enrollment Specialist Brett Stiles Match Support & Child Enrollment Specialist 17
OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS Jeff Matney, President Holmes Murphy Senior Vice President, Shareholder Ida H. Wood, Vice President Paychex HR District Sales Manager Ashlee Vieregger, Treasurer Foster Group Senior Lead Advisor Adam Haugerud, Secretary Insurance Leader & Community Champion Rob Dixon, Past-President Federal Home Loan Bank of Des Moines Kafila Adelani Nationwide Deputy General Counsel & Corporate Secretary Director, PL Product Regulatory Solutions Nick Blyth Innovative Captive Strategies Senior Vice President Tania Bowman Dean Snyder Construction Business Development Associate Anne M. Cooper, PhD Sammons Financial Group Senior Vice President, Chief Human Resources Officer Rosalind Peebles Fox John Deere Des Moines Works Factory Manager Andy Hodges D'Angelo Johnson Signature Commercial Real Estate Vice President Breaking Barriers Consulting Founder & CEO Jenny Livingston R & R Realty Group Senior Vice President Skylar Mayberry-Mayes, PhD The Jacobson Institute Executive Director Major Lillie Parker The City of Des Moines Police Department Bianca Rowland Financial Services Client Relationship Manager David Siebert NCMIC Insurance Company President Kiley Skadburg The Iowa Clinic Chief Marketing Officer Myron Stine Stine Seed Company President
OUR PARTNERS BBBSCI is grateful for dedicated partners who support their mission, Littles, Bigs, and families. These partners show up as donors, sponsors, funders, and volunteers in their many programs, some of which are listed below. Community Providers Blank Park Zoo Botanical Gardens Game Day Get Air Living History Farms Salon Spa W’s ZooDo Event Science Center Free Activities For Matches Through their generosity, BBBSCI offers discounts to local entertainment and educational venues where Bigs and Littles interact and build their personal connections. It is through these “match activities” that their relationships grow stronger as their bonds grow. Bottle & Bottega Businessolver Capital City Pride Parade Des Moines Menace Des Moines Performing Arts Des Moines Playhouse Drake Soccer Teams Flix Brewhouse Adopt-A-Family In addition to match activities, BBBSCI gives to the families who are enrolled in their programs with Adopt-A-Family and Fund-A-Family initiatives. BBBSCI has collected and distributed holiday gifts to 150 families over the past few years. If it were not for thoughtful donors in our village, many families would not have presents to enjoy during this season of giving. BBBSCI asks the recipient families to write personal thank you cards to the donors when they pick up their gifts. Fund-A-Family At their 2023 Big Shots Golf fundraiser, BBBSCI introduced a new initiative focused on supporting some of its families. Fund-A-Family is an initiative to provide gift cards to families from local stores who offer food and fuel options. Two new sponsors stepped forward to support this new fundraising effort: Sigma Pi Phi Gamma Eta Boule and Tim Robinson. Their sponsorship helped BBBSCI purchase gifts cards for several families in their network. Get Air Glazed Expressions Hy-Vee Iowa Barnstormers Iowa Wild Iowa Wolves Capital City Pride Parade Santa’s Rock n Light Show Science Center of IowaWorkshops Target Meals From the Heartland Pole Position Raceway Skate South Sky Zone YMCA
Building a IG Future Our New Youth Mentoring CenterSummer 2024 Located at 2130 Grand Avenue Des Moines, IA 50312 Help us by Making a Gift Becoming a Big Volunteering SEE FOR YOURSELF www.bbbsia.org/be-a-big/
GET TO KNOW Mission Create and support one-to-one mentoring relationships that ignite the power and promise of youth. Value Statement This village passionately cultivates young lives. Vision All youth achieve their full potential. JEDI Justice, Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion (JEDI) is an integral part of BBBSCI’s values and mission. BBBSCI recognizes, affirms, and celebrates the diverse backgrounds, lives, and experiences of all of our stakeholders, including youth, families, donors, volunteers, and staff. 21
JOIN OUR VILLAGE Mentors (Bigs) create a safe environment for youth (Littles). BBBSCI helps form meaningful relationships that broaden perspectives, provide positive influences and build the confidence youth need to set goals and pursue brighter futures. Build Real Relationships Foster Growth Make a Long-Lasting Impact Our intentional matching process evaluates personality, interests, and other factors to ensure the best chance of a long-term relationship between youth (Littles) and volunteer mentors (Bigs). Get Involved! 1. GET STARTED Volunteers: Sign up to be a mentor, and our team will work with you to determine if becoming a Big is the right next step. We ask our mentors for a one-year commitment at least. Parents/Guardians/Young Adults: Work with a child enrollment specialist to enroll your child in the program. BECOME A MENTOR 1. Visit bbbsia.org/be-a-big/. 2. Pick a program. 3. Complete form. 4. BBBSCI Staff will be in contact with next steps. 2. GET MATCHED Our intentional matching process evaluates personality, interests, and other factors to ensure the best chance of a strong relationship between our Bigs and Littles. We also conduct background checks, assessments, and interviews to establish the best chance of a safe, successful match. 3. EXPERIENCE THE IMPACT Both the youth’s and adult’s lives are transformed through the mentoring relationship. Youth get their eyes opened to a whole new world of possibilities, while mentors gain new perspectives and learn more about themselves as they make a real difference in their community. ENROLL YOUR CHILD 1. Visit bbbsia.org/enroll-a-child/. 3. Pick a program. 3. Complete form. 4. BBBSCI Staff will be in contact with next steps.
Youth Conference on Healthy Relationships Saturday, February 17 | 10:30 AM-3:00 PM Grand View University Speed Lyceum Auditorium - Henning Student Center 2811 E 14th St., Des Moines Are you looking for help and information about healthy relationships and personal safety? There’s an opportunity coming up that you won’t want to miss. You’ll get to meet with experts and connect with other teens who are also curious about creating safer, healthier futures for themselves. Register Today! 23
CLERGY CORNER Exploring Love Languages WRITTEN BY: PASTOR WES FOSTER - TRUE BIBLE BAPTIST CHURCH Every church seems to strive for this type of interaction. Where people come together and enjoy each other’s company while praising God in a sincere way. It all boils down to relationships. We all have them and we all have problems with them from time to time. I want to look at that in this article. Now I can’t cover it completely but I want to share something that has helped me immensely over the 30 plus years of marriage and 20 plus years of parenting. There was a book written years ago by Dr. Gary Chapman called, The Five Love Languages. This book theorizes that there are five basic “Love Languages” that all people speak. It’s a book about the marriage relationship but it also applies to parenting children, couples who are not married and friendships. This book posits that we have problems in our marriages because people don’t speak the same love language. I am a believer in this theory. Mainly because it saved my marriage. So I want to briefly look at one love Language in this season especially since we’ve just come out of the season of giving and based on all the stores, Valentines Day is right around the corner. I do have a disclaimer to this whole Love Language theory. Like any theory, it’s only as good as the person using it. As a Christian if I don’t have the Holy Spirit helping me love my spouse I’ll become frustrated and upset because the love languages are based on giving to others rather than looking at what I’ll receive. Learning what these languages are and how to speak your spouse’s or partner’s love language will help your relationship but it won’t solve all your relationship problems. I guarantee it will help your relationships as you get along better together and understand how the other person wants to be loved. However, if you think by speaking your spouse or partner’s love language you will get what you want then you are acting for the wrong reasons. If you want to show your unconditional love to your partner by learning and speaking their love language then this will help tremendously. The first and easiest love language to learn is the language of “Gifts.” When a person speaks in “Gifts,” it means that they give and receive love by the giving and getting gifts. For this person the gift is the symbol of love both for
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you and from you. They show their love for you by giving you gifts. They receive love by getting gifts from you. Do you know of anyone who will give a little gift, “just because.” Do you know people who say to you or others, “I saw this and I had to get it because it reminded me of you.” These people are giving gifts to show their love. For them it is the fact that you had to be thinking of them in order to get them a particular gift. The size of the gift doesn’t really matter. It’s the fact that you were thinking enough of them to get them a gift. That’s what matters. For this person it truly is the thought that counts. Does your partner complain about not getting anything from you or not buying anything fun in a while. It might be going out for dinner, getting a favorite candy bar, a flower, a new outfit, or a gift card to your favorite store. Whatever the gift, even the gift of time, it might be an indication that your spouse might be speaking the language of, “Gifts.” Are you speaking that language back to them? The language of “Gifts” is just one love language. The others are Word’s of Affirmation. Using words to show love. Word’s like, “I love how you do…” I appreciate your always being on time.” I know you can do it, you always come through when we call on you.” Another language is Quality Time. That’s just spending time with a person doing something or doing nothing. It could be doing a project or just sitting watching the sunrise or sunset. It may be a good conversation. It’s spending undivided attention with another person. The fourth language is Acts of Service. When you do something for the other person that they typically do themselves. Helping out with basic household chores like laundry, cooking, cleaning, mowing grass, vacuuming, taking out the garbage or any of those tasks that keep the household up and functioning. But it’s not limited to the household. It could be something outside the home that the other person does that is work. Done with the other person in mind they can be Acts of Service. The final language is Physical Touch. Giving a hug, holding a hand, a shoulder massage, a pat on the back, and especially for boys, play fighting and wrestling, can all be acts of love for a person who speaks the language of physical touch. This person touches during conversations and always wants to greet and end your time together with a handshake and a hug. When it’s a family member it might be a kiss. They show they care for you by touching.
But in a positive non invasive way. Those are the Love Languages. I would invite you to explore them if you want to have better relationships as we move into 2024. If you google five love languages you’ll find a wealth of information. As a pastor, I love them because they remind me of Jesus. He tells us through the Bible he loves us. He touched many as he healed, he spent three years of quality time with his disciples before he left this earth. He gave his very life as a special gift for us. The act of dying took away all our sins! He is the love languages all in one! God bless you in this new year. EVERY DAY THEY CONTINUED TO MEET TOGETHER IN THE TEMPLE COURTS. THEY BROKE BREAD IN THEIR HOMES AND ATE TOGETHER WITH GLAD AND SINCERE HEARTS, PRAISING GOD AND ENJOYING THE FAVOR OF ALL PEOPLE. Acts 2:46-47 27
UNCLUTTER YOUR MIND: The Benefits of Decluttering Spaces Mind & Body Conn e ct i on Written By: Debra Carr, LMSW, ACSW, CFSW Finding a sense of peace and calm can feel like a distant dream especially when you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Experiencing the loss of loved ones suddenly, inheriting the task of removing things out of our home coupled with the added emotional baggage has caused me to reflect and regain a sense of balance amid the noise and clutter in my mind and personal spaces. While navigating the reality of a new normal, one still must function dealing with numerous demands and competing priorities of daily life. These demands often make us feel physically and emotionally drained. Surprisingly, one of the keys to unlocking a peaceful state of mind can often be found right in front of us by decluttering all aspects of our lives. The simple act of decluttering has proven to be a productive way to restore peace and calm for our minds, body, and spirits. The positive effects that come from decluttering offer a pathway to serenity amid the chaos within today’s living. THE SCIENCE BEHIND DECLUTTERING Recent studies document a compelling link between a clutter-free environment and reduced stress levels. When our physical spaces are organized, our minds follow suit. Studies reveal people living in cluttered spaces experience elevated cortisol (stress hormones) levels than usual throughout their day and even at night causing restlessness and anxiety. However, when spaces are free from clutter, there is a notable decrease in stress hormones. Imagine walking into a room where every item has its place. Clutter causes our body senses to work overtime on unnecessary stimuli. Additional research further adds a cluttered home and mind negatively affects our brain’s cognitive functioning making it more challenging to make good decisions. Some people living in cluttered homes report feelings of shame and embarrassment. They rarely invite guests over, which can lead to isolation and deeper feelings of despair. Often, the more cluttered a home is, the less motivation and energy you have to tackle the challenge of decluttering. For some people, this can lead to a disorder called hoarding, where decluttering becomes unbearable. These realities further exacerbate feelings of stress and add to feelings of confusion, irritability, depression, and frustration which negatively affects mental wellbeing. CLEARING THE MENTAL FOG Decluttering acts as a mental reset button, it allows us to cut through the noise and concentrate on what truly matters. Our minds are constantly bombarded with information and stimuli, contributing to a cognitive overload that impedes focus and productivity. Think for a moment of your to-do-list, errands, projects, and other responsibilities that quickly add up during the day. Other challenges may be related to simple things like finding your keys when you need them or looking
people out of our personal spaces also brings a deep sense of satisfaction and greater peace. Unpacking added baggage that does not bring value gives one a lighter load and opens space for more joy and positive vibes to enter our daily life. THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION for glasses are two common examples that come to mind. When our minds are clear and we are in a clean and organized space, productivity improves. THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT The emotional benefit of decluttering extends beyond a clean and organized room. As we organize our surroundings, we confront and address emotional attachments to possessions. Many people hold too long onto numerous items that fill our garages, storage spaces and rooms in our homes. Letting go of excessive things or stuff we no longer need can be liberating. Letting go of negative thoughts and people who do not bring positive vibes authentically is also freeing. My own personal journey of decluttering mind, body, and spirit has aided me in embracing more of my gratitude and finding joy in my own being. I’ve learned to notice the emotions and thoughts I am feeling and, in the moment, shift my thinking to not stay stuck on thoughts about things beyond my control. The emotional release gained when I shift my thinking contribut es to a sense of lightness and freedom. When you think and reflect on the thoughts and emotions that cloud your mind, ask yourself, “is it helping or harming your mental well-being? Is the situation beyond your control or sphere of influence? If so, let go of the clutter. A SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT The satisfaction derived from conquering clutter goes beyond aesthetics. Renewed energy brings enhanced focus, and clarity which directly contributes to creating a calmer space to rest, restore and relax. These fringe benefits create a ripple effect that influences other aspects of our lives. Eliminating toxic A clutter free environment positively impacts our overall health in every aspect. Improved sleep, reduced anxiety, and increased energy levels are among the physical benefits reported by those who embark on a decluttering journey. As our minds find peace, our bodies respond in kind, creating a holistic sense of well-being. I can attest to these fringe benefits. I find myself not feeling anxious about things out-of-my-control. Learning to recognize the thoughts I pay attention to and the "why" behind them has provided me with a deeper understanding of myself while also assisting me to act on the things I can change and let go of things I cannot change. CONCLUSION In a word filled with distractions, decluttering becomes a powerful ally in the pursuit of mental well-being. Embrace the simplicity of decluttering and witness the transformative impact it can have on your mind, body, and soul. You will find a renewed sense of accomplishment, peace, liberation, and joy just by managing your own clutter. Set realistic goals and celebrate each achievement. The journey towards a clutter-free space is a marathon, not a sprint. Unclutter your space, unclutter your mind, and step into a brighter, more serene version of yourself. 29
G We d CONTACT US TODAY! 515-770-2271 • Matilda Jr. Performance Academy class Summer 2022 Enrolling now for winter classes. Spring class registration begins Dec. 15, 2023. Summer class registration begins Jan. 17, 2024. 831 42nd Street | Des Moines | 515.277.6261 TICKETS AT: DMPlayhouse.com
FEBRUARY 6 - 11, 2024 | DES MOINES CIVIC CENTER DMPA.org · (515) 246-2300 · Civic Center Ticket Offi ce
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE December 20, 2023 Contact Information: Marquas Ashworth, Center at Sixth Marqaus.ashworth@gmail.com 515-865-0244 Planned Des Moines Small Business Market, Incubator Receives $700,000 from Wells Fargo Foundation DES MOINES, IOWA – The Center at Sixth, a planned market and incubator for small businesses owned by underrepresented and underserved entrepreneurs, has received $700,000 from the Wells Fargo Foundation. To date, the grant is the largest commitment from a private foundation to the project. Construction at 1714 Sixth Avenue in Des Moines is underway and will be completed in fall 2024. The building will have 9,000 square feet of commercial space, including an indoor market where shoppers can buy products directly from the small business tenants. Tenants will sell an array of goods, including food and beverages prepared in an on-site commercial kitchen. The building will also have learning and event space as well as six live/work apartments. The Wells Fargo Foundation grant brings Center at Sixth developer Ashworth Development within reach of its capital goal. “Wells Fargo understands our vision for the Center at Sixth and has stepped up to help make it a reality,” said Marquas Ashworth, president, Ashworth Development. In recognition of its donation, the Center at Sixth will grant Wells Fargo naming rights to the market space within the building. “We’re so excited about the Center at Sixth — we only wish it was open right now for holiday shopping,” said Laura Howe, regional banking executive, Wells Fargo. “Small businesses add life and joy to our neighborhoods, and as the Bank of Doing, we’re committed to helping them succeed financially.” While fundraising for the incubator, Center at Sixth organizers have already begun supporting entrepreneurs. Center at Sixth staff and coaches from the Evelyn K. Davis Center helped baker Blandine Nadia Ahissou find commercial kitchen space, sell her goods at the Downtown Farmer’s Market and eventually move into a storefront. Nadia’s French Bakery is set to open at 2705 Grand Avenue in Des Moines in January. “Nadia’s is an example of what we’re hoping to achieve with the Center at Sixth, but in greater numbers,” Ashworth said. “Having kitchen and retail space in one location will make it possible for us to help more people turn ideas into viable businesses.” The name of the Center at Sixth is a tribute to the former Center Street business district, which was the heart of Des Moines’ black small business community until it was destroyed by the construction of Interstate 235 in the late 1950s. For continued updates on the Center at Sixth, please visit facebook.com/Center-at-Sixth. ### 33
Polk County Health Department Media Release For more information: Madisun VanGundy, Public Health Communications Officer 515.286.3848 (office) 515.782.7236 (cell) Madisun.vangundy@polkcountyiowa.gov Polk County Health Department Urges Vaccination Ahead of the Holidays Polk County, Iowa and the U.S. have low vaccination rates for the flu, COVID-19 and RSV (Des Moines, IA) – Polk County Health Department urges community members to get the updated respiratory shots they are eligible for ahead of holiday celebrations. Low vaccine rates, combined with increasing levels of respiratory activity at the local, state and national level, could lead to more severe disease and increased healthcare capacity strain in the coming weeks. Immunization rates: 12.4% of Polk County residents are up-to-date with the COVID-19 Vaccine (Source) o Prior to August 31, 2023 68.5% of Polk County residents were up-to-date with the COVID-19 vaccine (Source) 26% percent of Polk County residents got the updated flu shot (Source) o 40.25% is the average flu shot rate from the past 6 years (prior to 2023) for Polk County residents (Source) 17% of adults age 60+ reported receiving an RSV vaccine (Source) Iowa is now in a “medium” hospital admission level for COVID-19. And in the past 4 weeks, hospitalizations among all age groups increased by: 250% for influenza in Iowa 58% for COVID-19 in Iowa 60% for RSV in the U.S. COVID-19 tracked in Des Moines Waste Water Surveillance, has also been at high levels the past four weeks. “With the increasing hospitalization rates we’re seeing with respiratory viruses, we urge the community to get their updated respiratory shots,” said Helen Eddy, Director of Polk County Health Department. “Getting the updated shots will not only protect you, but protect our community’s health and prevent hospital overwhelm.” Influenza, COVID-19, and RSV can result in severe disease, especially among unvaccinated persons. Infants, older adults, pregnant people, and people with certain underlying medical conditions remain at increased risk of severe COVID-19 and influenza disease. Infants and older adults remain at highest risk of severe RSV disease; it is the leading cause of infant hospitalization in the United States. Vaccination for influenza, COVID-19, and RSV reduces the risk of severe disease, including pneumonia, hospitalization, and death. Vaccination for COVID-19 can also reduce the risk of MIS-C and postCOVID conditions. Polk County residents are urged to get the updated respiratory shots they are eligible for. You can schedule an appointment with your primary care provider, visit your local pharmacy, or schedule an For Immediate Release December 18, 2023
appointment with the health department at www.ImmunizePolk.com. Please note, free COVID-19 vaccines are available for adults who do not have health insurance, or for whose health insurance does not cover the vaccine. Visit www.Vaccines.gov to find a free COVID-19 vaccine near you. “And please remember to follow good hygiene practices this holiday season,” said Eddy. “They’re simple and easy to do, and they help reduce the spread of respiratory viruses in our community. Hygiene Practices Get the updated respiratory shots you’re eligible for Wash your hands frequently Cover your coughs with a tissue or arm sleeve Wash frequently used surfaces often Stay home when you’re sick and keep your kids home when they’re sick -###Polk County Health Department strives to create the conditions for all people to live healthy lives by engaging residents, reducing health disparities and attending to the needs of our most vulnerable families. Follow us on X, Meta and Instagram. For more information about Polk County Health Department, please visit https://www.polkcountyiowa.gov/health-department/. gr aphix g LosRos INF O@LOSROS. C OM • LOSROS. C OM Servic es Pho t o E diting Appar el Design M emorial Pho t os L og o & Br anding Mag azine Design C ust om Design Test yourself for COVID-19 if you have symptoms (Order free tests here) Follow CDC recommended COVID-19 isolation guidelines If you can’t stay home when you’re sick, wear a mask in public places
Savings Account If you put $100 in your GreenState checking account... Checking $98 Option #2: Debit Card Round-up Every time you use your debit card, the transaction is rounded up to the nearest dollar and transferred to your Rainy Day Savings. Example: If you use your debit card for a purchase of $20.27, it would round-up to $21 and transfer $0.73 from checking to your Rainy Day Savings account. One of the best ways to build financial security is to have enough in savings to handle emergencies that may come your way. Our Rainy Day Savings account makes building an emergency savings fund easy. Choose one or both options to grow your savings automatically. Option #1: Automatic transfer from Checking 2% of every deposit* into your GreenState Checking account will automatically transfer to your Rainy Day Savings. Rainy Day Savings $2 Option #3: Choose both and save more! Stop by a branch, call 844-300-5810 or visit greenstate.org to learn more. *Qualifying deposits include: direct deposit, ATM, Remote Deposit Capture check deposits, deposits made at a branch. Insured by NCUA
We can stop HIV, Iowa. According to a survey by the Iowa Department of Public Health, 27% of respondents who were living with HIV said they waited to get tested because of the stigma. Everyone has a role to play in creating a future free of HIV stigma. Learn more at stophiviowa.org Focus On: Program Benefits: Services available to all Polk residents regardless of income Free confidential financial counseling sessions with a certified professional Assistance in navigating complex financial challenges In person and phone appointments available in English and Spanish Savings Plan for the future and prepare for unforeseen expenses Banking Gain access to safe and affordable banking services Debt Credit Pay down debt and develop budgeting tools Schedule an Appointment Today! Call (515) 697-7700 or online at EmpowerMoney.org 37 Establish and improve credit with professional guidance
BE INFORMED BE AN ADVOCATE SURVIVE Everyone has a heart: Take Care of Yours & Live Your Best Life! Why is Cardiovascular Genetic Screening Important? ! ! More than 1 in every 200 people have an inherited heart disease. Inherited heart diseases are the leading causes of sudden death in young people. Benefits of Genetic & Clinical Screening Detect heart disease that did not show up in routine health exams. Early detection may prevent heart complications. Make informed decisions about heart health, including treament options. Help identify the cause of a heart condition or other health issues. Educate family members who may be at risk of heart disease. Learn about the chance that a pregnancy will lead to genetic condition. ! Inherited gene abnormality does not automatically result in heart disease. Knowing your risk can help you understand and manage your health. Learn your risk for heart disease If any family member experienced heart disease or any of the below health issues, consider genetic and clinical screening. Heart failure (younger than 60 years old) Implantable cardioverter defibrillator (ICD) or pacemaker implant (younger than 50 years old) Heart transplant (younger than 60 years old) Unexplained seizures or seizures with normal neurological evaluation Unexplained cardiac arrest(s) or sudden death Exercise intolerance Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Untreated LDL (low-density lipoprotein) known as bad cholesterol ≥ 190 Multiple family members with congenital heart defects West African Ancestry in your family Diagnosed with carpel tunnel syndrome The average cost of genetic testing is $250 This work was supported through the MIHF HealthConnect Fellowship. The average out-of-pocket cost is $100
JOIN UNITED 55+ Many believe that a meaningful life is not complete without the fulfillment that comes from helping others. If you're ready to take your commitment to the community to the next level, while meeting new people and gaining new experiences, UNITED 55+ is for you! Current & Upcoming Volunteer Opportunities Book Buddy A reading program that pairs volunteers with preschoolers for regular reading. The caring adult reads in person to the student at a local childcare center. You may pair up with a friend to share this weekly volunteer opportunity. Orientation & training provided. Power Read Volunteer reading mentors are matched one-to-one with a student for about an hour each week and together they read and engage in conversation. Programs take place during the student’s lunch period at various Des Moines elementary schools. Orientation & training provided. Not New Shop Charity shop volunteers needed to Sort, size, and mark donated items according to suggested price list, using good judgment regarding discards. Assist customers with purchases, ring up sales, keep shop in order. Training provided. HOPE for the Holidays Donation Drive The holidays are upon us! We are collecting cleaning products and gift cards for HOPE for Stable Families. This program works with families to set goals, remove barriers, and use available community resources to create long-term financial stability for them and their children. For information about the program or how to donate, visit https://www.unitedwaydm.org/hope-for-the-holidays Holiday Helping Hand Looking for ways to give back this holiday season? Check out United Way of Central Iowa’s Volunteer hub. Head to the Holiday Helping Hand Guide tab to see opportunities around Central Iowa. Check back often as opportunities will continually be added through the end of the year. Visit https://volunteer.unitedwaydm.org/need/ for more information. Contact, Lynne Melssen AmeriCorps Seniors Program Director at lynne.melssen@unitedwaydm.org or 515-246-6544 To register, scan the QR code or visit: unitedwaydm.org/united55 39 LIVE UNITED
It's important to take the time to acknowledge the uniqueness of the deceased: the individuality of their personality, and the uniqueness of their life's path. Not just for them, but for you; it affirms the relationship, and leads to healing after loss. Honoring their life is truly an act of love – for the both of you. “WE’RE FAMILY” PHONE: (515) 309-6550 3500 SIXTH AVENUE DES MOINES, IA 50313 HENDERSONSHP.COM
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