November 2022 Inside The Power of Praise Courageous Truths: Deja's Support Expands The Future and Rising Dreams of North High School JAMIL RIVERS BOARD PRESIDENT METAVIVOR RESEARCH AND SUPPORT, INC. Another step closer to establishing Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day (October 13th) as a law in Iowa
WRITERS & STAFF Editor-In-Chief Dwana Bradley Copy Editor Virgina Smith Contributors Creative Director Nikki Goldman - LosRos Graphix Donnetta Austin Debra Carr Courageous Fire Angela Jackson Celeste Lawson Gary Lawson Bert Moody Lori Young Caleb Thomas Lenore Metrick-Chen Gianni Berry MAGAZINE OUTLETS Ankeny Kirkendall Library 1250 SW District Drive Ankeny, Iowa 50023 Central Library 1000 Grand Ave, Des Moines, IA 50309 DMACC Urban Campus 1100 7th Street, Des Moines, IA 50314 Drake Diner 1111 25th Street, Des Moines, IA 50311 Eastside Library 2559 Hubbell Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50317 Evelyn Davis Center 801 Suite #3, University Ave, Des Moines IA 50314 Fields Pharmacy 501 University Ave. Des Moines, IA 50314 Forest Library 1326 Forest Ave, Des Moines, IA 50314 Franklin Library 5000 Franklin Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50310 Johnston Library 6700 Merle Hay Rd. Johnston, Iowa 50131 Northside Library 3516 5th Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50313 Neighborhood Finance 1912 6th Avenue. Des Moines, Iowa 50314 Senior Polk County 2008 Forest Ave, Des Moines IA 50314 Smokey Row Coffee Co. 1910 Cottage Grove, Des Moines, Iowa 50314 Southside Library 1111 Porter Ave. Des Moines, Iowa 50315 The Great Frame Up 5515 Mills Civic Parkway Suite #150, West Des Moines, IA 50266 Urbandale Public Library 3520 86th Street, Urbandale, IA 50322 Urbandale Chamber of Commerce 2830 100th Street, Suite 110, Urbandale, IA 50322 West Des Moines Library 4000 Mills Clive Pkwy, West Des Moines, Iowa 50365 Slow Down Coffee Co. 3613 6th Avenue Des Moines, Iowa 50313 The Playhouse 831 42nd Street Des Moines, Iowa 50312
SUMMARY EDITORS MESSAGE 4 6 9 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COURAGEOUS TRUTHS: DEJA'S SUPPORT EXPANDS 14 THE POWER OF PRAISE 9 19 24 3 16 ALZHEIMER'S ASSOCIATION: NATIONAL FAMILY CAREGIVERS MONTH 19 THE FUTURE AND RISING DREAMS OF NORTH HIGH SCHOOL 23 HOMEBUYERS EDUCATION 24 JAMI RIVERS, BOARD PRESIDENT METAVIVOR RESEARCH AND SUPPORT, INC. 28 PRESS RELEASE
GET THE URBAN EXPERIENCE The elections are over so, hopefully, we can get our T.V. screens back. The ads weren’t always factual; thankfully they are now a thing of the past. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of elections. I know – how does an elected official make that statement? I’ll share more in a future issue. The holiday season is in full swing. I’m a Walmart and Target shopper; all the fall and Christmas decorations are now out. I love the changing of the leaves and the beauty this time of year brings. I love my hot cocoa, sweaters, boots, leggings, and holiday shows. Most importantly, this month means celebrating Thanksgiving. What does it mean to be thankful? Being thankful means to be relieved, pleased, glad, and grateful (Oxford Dictionary). Lately, it feels that we have been through so much trauma and pain that thankfulness seems to be a thing of the past. I hope we can get back to thankfulness. I hope we can get back to family. I hope we can get back to loving one another and coming together. Dwana Bradley Editor in Chief
I’m thankful for my family. We share a close bond and have each other’s backs. We don’t spend our time arguing or holding grudges against each other. It’s not that we don’t have disagreements from time to time; we make a choice to forgive, love, and move on. I don’t know your story, but it's in my prayers that during this holiday season, if your family bond is fractured, it will be restored. It’s in my prayers that if you are holding a grudge and haven’t forgiven someone, the chains that are holding you down will be broken. My grandma used to say, “Family is all we got”, and I agree. The world may talk about me, treat me poorly, or kick me to the curb. But I can always count on my family to embrace me, love me, and support me in whatever decisions I make. I thank God for my family. The Urban Experience Magazine wishes you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving. It’s my prayer you make things right and enjoy family time during this holiday. Blessings, Dwana Bradley U 5
Mental Health: Written By: Caleb Thomas M.A. LMHC DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
H ello, Urban Experience Readers, blessings. I hope you and your loved ones have a safe, happy, and blessed Thanksgiving. If you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, I pray you are able to reflect on the things God has blessed you with, including the breath in your lungs and another day to be in the land of the living. In my previous article, in case you missed it, I talked about sex, including sexual abuse and pornography. This month, I want to talk about domestic violence. Domestic violence stems across all races and ethnic backgrounds as well as social, financial, successful, and religious backgrounds. The man or woman making $250 million dollars per year can be just as or more abusive as the man or woman making $25,000 per year. People may think this only happens in poor communities, which is not true. If you are reading this article, whether you are a Christian or atheist, rich or poor, Black or White, male or female, straight or gay–this article is important and relevant for you to read. If you are currently in a domestic violent relationship, please know there is help. You can begin by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. It is easy for someone who has never experienced domestic violence to say to someone who is in a domestic violence relationship to just leave–but this is easier said than done. There are many reasons why it is hard for someone to leave a violent relationship. The victim may be afraid and they may believe that if they leave their spouse/partner, they will come after them and do more harm, possibly ending their life. Unfortunately, there are television shows and movies around these horrible acts. Other reasons for not leaving an abusive relationship include financial dependence, especially if the abuser is the breadwinner. It also may be hard to leave because of the empty promises, also known as the honeymoon phase, where the abuser promises to never do it again. The victim may even feel sorry for the abuser and may feel they did something to deserve the punishment. Some stay in the relationship because they believe that the abuser will change. I mentioned in a previous article that domestic violence is a mental, psychological, emotional, and even spiritual matter. If the individual is not willing to address this problem head-on and get the help they need, the problem will continue. An individual who shows domestic violence behavior will not change until they are honest with themselves and understand that they are being abusive. If you have a new relationship and you see or experience early signs of domestic abuse, or if you see a history of turbulent relationships–get out. If you know your partner has been abusive in their past relationship(s) and they have not sought help, please don’t think that this individual is going to treat you any differently. Here are just a few signs that you may be in an abusive relationship: 1) Your spouse/partner begins to isolate you from friends and family. 2) They constantly want to know where you are and what you are doing. 3) They take control of your finances, plans, etc. without discussing them with you. 4) They rarely take responsibility or admit fault. 5) They manipulate or “gaslight” you. 6) They display feelings of obsessiveness and/or possessiveness. 7) They engage in physical, emotional, or sexual violence toward you. You may ask what causes an individual to act this way. From a biblical perspective, I direct people back to the sin that we were all born into, and because sin has no limits, it can include domestic violence. The bible tells us in 1 John 3:15 that it starts with hate, and hate can lead to murder. With this being said, domestic violent relationships can end in murder. You may ask where that hate comes from. It may come from past abuse or current abuse and trauma that have never been acknowledged or healed–this includes hating someone else based on their skin color. The hate in one’s heart must be expressed somewhere; hate can be expressed toward the person who is closest to the individual, often the spouse/partner. If you are the abuser, God is giving you grace and mercy, so please get help. If you are the victim, please seek help and safety immediately. If you are a bystander, please do whatever you can to help the victim to get out, and please know our office is here to help. Thank you Caleb Thomas M.A. LMHC 319-206-0651 thomasacc.com caleb@thomasacc.com Thomas & Associates Counseling & Consulting Counseling with a God given purpose! 7
Courageous TR UTHS DEJA’S SUPPORT EXPANDS ***WARNING: DETAILS OF ABUSE IN THIS ARTICLE. MAY BE TRIGGERING. PLEASE USE SELF-CARE.*** W elcome back to the Courageous Truths series and Deja’s progress, Beloved! It’s been some time now since Deja1 called and got all those resources from that lady named Courageous. Her and her beautiful children have started pulling away from Denzel’s2 influences because Deja researched. She started comparing what she learned to the actions of Denzel’s acquaintances and family members and saw oppressive, exploitative, and/or manipulated/influenced by/sympathetic to Denzel - flying monkeys.3 As Deja intentionally created more distance from Denzel and his crew, she noticed more than just the silence. She also noticed her and her children had NO support at all. At first, Deja found it baffling, then hurtful, then angering, then frustrating, then numbing. Yes, she is making all the right moves - avoiding hoovering4, avoiding flying monkeys, educating herself, educating her children, and utilizing resources. However, Deja didn’t have a village anymore - her old village consisted of unhealthy people. Deja suddenly wondered to herself, “if so many things he did were intentionally hurtful, is there some part of this that is the same?” She got back online and found this: “Isolation is key if your abuser is going to be successful in their attempts to control you”.5 She couldn’t believe it! Wait…of course she could. It made so much sense - her confusion about Denzel telling her not to trust her sister’s intentions as pure. His puzzling belief that she suddenly shouldn’t talk to her mom’s coworkers because they were interested in her. All of it made sense now. Wow, she was going to have to brave Step #4: Broaden Her Support. But how?? Deja didn’t have a village anymore because she and her children only accessed what Denzel gave them permission to access. And he found a reason for them not to access anything he couldn’t control. Deja’s mind had become so weary of doing everything, thinking of everything, managing everything - she’d have to find something to help her envision this. Ahh, here it was - her good, old friend, National Domestic Violence Hotline! It had an article giving tips on how to rebuild and maintain support after isolation. Deja took her time and went through each tip and asked me to share them with you: “Reconnect with yourself and your past.”6 That’s right, doggone it! Deja had a past BEFORE Denzel. She went back to her social media posts before she met him and spent some really refreshing time on memory lane. Oh MAN, 9
she used to have fun with Chanell! That girl could talk her into some of the best fun - EVER! And what about the infamous girls weekends she used to have? Those were fun, beautiful, and energizing! Oh yeah, what about the writing she used to do? She sat down right then and wrote a journal entry just to prove to herself she still had it. She called this one, Lest I Forget. Lest I forget And think to myself That I’m being too harsh Not answering your texts I stand in the shower holding my breath Fighting the flashbacks Of you snatching back the curtain - grabbing me After ignoring me or being hostile earlier that same night Expecting me to submit anyway Because you’re “The Head” and I’m your wife… Lest I forget And think to myself That I’m wrong to keep Our children at a distance From their own father I get up in the morning And look over to my left And see our daughter Sleeping in the place where she’s slept Since you left… Lest I forget And ask myself Why I’m not at least considering Getting back together with the person I’ve been with for years I think about the fact I’ve been able to: Buy clothes for our growing daughters Get all our bills paid Go to bed without an argument Get so many things done With a focused mind Since you’ve been gone… Lest I forget And say to myself Maybe we can simply do another “restart” And things will be okay I remember that I finally feel as though I can picture my life And the lives of our daughters As ones that may have hope of Being more than ones of suffering I remember the research I have done On what you’ve done to us… And I know there is A reason you are NOT here That I must not give in Because the future of my life And the lives of our daughters depends On me not forgetting to keep us safe from you Therefore… I won’t forget.7 Deja was gettin’ excited, and that was only the 1st tip! With each one, she could feel L I F E rushing back into her veins: 1. “Reach out and rebuild relationships” . Deja was going to reevaluate people that he told her or them to stay away from to see if they were truly dangerous or that was just part of the isolation. In that moment she believed she was ready to explore whether this could be a renewed layer of support for them! 2. “Throw party/gettogether/playdate”. Deja was still struggling financially, but she realized there were plenty of ways to get together without spending money. She figured she’d talk to her children and pick their brains - give ‘em something to get excited about! 3. “Join a local organization, club, or place of worship”. Deja had nearly forgotten about - other places being outside her door, outside of her everyday routine. She decided while she was picking her girls’ brains about get togethers, she would try to help them - and herself - discover what they really liked. And then…GO DO IT! 4. “Go outside and be a part of the community”. Deja didn’t even really know anyone or any annual activities they might enjoy. Why couldn’t she start finding those places? “Alright Deja,” she told herself, “let’s start with one day one weekend a month, look something up, and go check it out. No preplanning, except to make sure it’s open and that’s it.” Deja couldn’t wait to uncover what was out there in her world! 5. “Consider a support group”. She wasn’t sure about talking around strangers, but she’d at least Google it! 6. “Be gentle with yourself and celebrate your progress.” Deja loved the idea of celebrating OFTEN because she just wanted to find reasons to have a good time. Deja went to the Dollar Tree and bought journals for each of them that they picked out. She told them every time they did something
healthy, they were supposed to write it down and celebrate it with themselves, however that looked to them! Then, if they felt comfortable, share it with each other. The girls were so excited, they wrote in the journals when they got home about getting the journals! 7. “Stay safe.” Deja loved this one as the reminder that any suggestions or ideas aren’t good ones for her and her family if they will create a barrier or challenge to what they already know keeps them safe. Deja carefully evaluated her situation and decided to wait on reaching out and rebuilding relationships. She’d reevaluate after more time passed - just to be SAFE. As Deja felt her eyelids getting heavy, she definitely recognized the sound at this point. Yes ma’am, it was the sound of the check mark in the box of another part of the Survivor Safe Roadmap, Step #4, Broadening Support. She knew would sleep well. Beloved, please keep reading to see this year’s satisfying conclusion so you can see OR show someone else the pathway for Black women out of abuse. Blessings. By Courageous Fire DV Advocate & Founder of Courageous Fire, LLC seating is limited. Through our grant, your ticket is already paid for, but you’ve got to register to attend. RSVP Here!. 2. Community Training. You want to be more effective in reaching un- and underserved populations. You know Black women are a large part of that population you’re missing today. Courageous Fire, LLC can teach you how. Find out 3. Newsletter! Want to keep up with what I’m doing as a social entrepreneur at Courageous Fire, LLC? Then text CFIRENEWS to 22828! 4. Our Nonprofit: I am Executive Director at Courageous Access, our new non-profit, 501(c)3! This is an expansion of #changingthenarrative. The non-profit arm directly serves the Black women DV survivors and the children they are raising through Black professional-created services. We’re working on 3 campaigns - one for corporations/organizations, one for recurring gifts, and the one that is now up for one-time donations! Please give your tax-deductible support right here: Donate 1. Domestic Violence Awareness Month has a Showcase! Courageous Fire, LLC, sponsored by Polk County Decat and CPPC as well as Courageous Access, will have a special event for DVAM. It’s a showcase demonstrating the empowerment that we access through art, Beloved - you won’t want to miss these incredible Black women! DV Survivors AND Artists choosing their favorite art form to demonstrate how art has done this for them. We’ve chosen a beautiful, cozy space, so 5. DV Prevention for Youth: An energetic, brilliant group participated in this pilot. This whole package comes from Detroit, MI, an amazing founder, Tonjie Reese, and her creation of Eleven24.org curriculum. Funded by United Way of Central Iowa. It just ended at the end of August 2022, and we’ve got their take on its impact for them: Outcomes. Here’s how you can sign up for the cohort that will start in the next 3 - 6 months: Sign Up Link. Our classes enjoyed: Good food! They chose where they wanted to eat each of the 8 weeks of the program. Workbooks - these workbooks had just enough for facilitator guidance and left enough room for a youth-centered discussion each week. Variation of Learning Approaches - this journey was filled with music, TV, movies, reading, writing, individual soul-searching, and group discussion. This allowed the learning to stick. Simplification of Complex Concepts - relationships is a topic that stumps adults, even after years of practice. However, Tonjie made sure it was simple enough to be practical and applicable Included adults in their lives - The Caring Adults section made it possible for the youth to share what they were learning to hopefully encourage the adults in their lives to model what their youth were learning. It’s always easier to practice in family circles with people who care and then radiate that confidence for boundaries to others. Tonjie’s section on the website for that made that much easier. 6. Empowerment through the Arts™ has started for this Fall! With the very 1st session, once again Black women are being strengthened, enlightened, and empowered. If you’re a Black woman DV survivor, you’re just in time to sign up for Spring 11
2023. Sign up here: Empowerment through the Arts™ 7. Pilot Alert! Personal Security™ Program: A skilled, fierce yet compassionate Black martial arts instructor facilitated our pilot with 10 Black women DV survivors and their children to learn how to know they can protect themselves using only their bodies as a weapon. This expertise from Master Rauh Karim, owner and Sensei of Karim’s Martial Arts School and funding from Polk County Decat and CPPC, made this pilot powerful. It just ended at the end of August 2022, and we have our experts assessments of their growth and capabilities: Baseline survey Outcomes survey 8. In a relationship? Make sure it’s healthy: Healthy Relationship Wheel Illustration. Or go to TheHotline.org, or Phone: 800-799-7233 9. In an abusive relationship? Call us to get connected to a Community Safe Space to Courageous TR UTHS You’ll have a ball! Dec. 2 – 18, 2022 DMPlayhouse.com FOR TICKETS: begin safety planning, 515-428-0077 At the Community Safe Space, talk to The Hotline.org to commence safety planning At the Community Safe Space, take a look at types of abuse, including sexual coercion, at Tools for Us Endnotes 1. Deja is a composite character whose behaviors, characteristics, and experiences are created from a combination of national statistics of Black women and the experiences of real-life victim-survivors. 2. Deja’s counterpart, Denzel, is a composite character as well, whose behaviors, characteristics and experiences are created by the same type of combination 3. Information on Flying Monkeys taken from the Medium. com article, “How to Defend Against Narcissists’ Flying Monkeys”
G We d CONTACT US TODAY! 515-770-2271 •
SPIRITUALITY The power of praise Written By: Donnetta Austin “O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. Psalms 95:1-2, KJV
T here is power in the name of Jesus. There is hope when all else fails in the name of Jesus. We find strength within the name of Jesus. Love is not a condition but unconditional through our Lord and Savior, Jesus. Heavenly Father we lift your name high and give you all glory in the name of Jesus. You are worthy of being praised and we say thank you, Jesus. Thank you for the mighty hands of healing, deliverance, and restoration Lord Jesus. Thank you for your perfect ways and will over our lives, dear Lord Jesus. Thank you for being almighty! In the month of November, may we remind ourselves to have a posture of praise and worship. If it weren’t for you, Lord, where would we be? All honor and glory go to you, Lord. Thank you for being so good, even in the midst of trials we face from time to time. You remain our good Father. May our response be our words followed by action in obedience and thankfulness! In Jesus's mighty name, Amen. Embrace the Thanksgiving holiday with an expression of love, joy, peace, and happiness! Donnetta Austin Amazon: Never Retire God Email: be.encouragedbyone@gmail. com
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION: IOWA CHAPTER By Lauren Livingston, Alzheimer’s Association National Family Caregivers Month: Caring for yourself as a Caregiver
N ovember is National Family Caregivers Month and National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, and the Association is raising awareness of the importance of supporting caregivers. In Iowa, there are 73,000 family and friends providing care to over 66,000 individuals living with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. Alzheimer's caregivers frequently report experiencing high levels of stress. It can be overwhelming to take care of a loved one with Alzheimer's or other dementia, but too much stress can be harmful to both of you. Read on to learn symptoms and ways to avoid burnout. 10 symptoms of caregiver stress 1. Denial about the disease and its effect on the person who has been diagnosed. I know Mom is going to get better. 2. Anger at the person with Alzheimer’s or frustration that he or she can’t do the things they used to be able to do. He knows how to get dressed — he’s just being stubborn. 3. Social withdrawal from friends and activities that used to make you feel good. I don’t care about visiting with the neighbors anymore. 4. Anxiety about the future and facing another day. What happens when he needs more care than I can provide? 5. Depression that breaks your spirit and affects your ability to cope. I just don't care anymore. 6. Exhaustion that makes it nearly impossible to complete necessary daily tasks. I'm too tired for this. 7. Sleeplessness caused by a never-ending list of concerns. What if she wanders out of the house or falls and hurts herself? 8. Irritability that leads to moodiness and triggers negative responses and actions. Leave me alone! 9. Lack of concentration that makes it difficult to perform familiar tasks. I was so busy, I forgot my appointment. Alzheimer’s 10. Health problems that begin to take a mental and physical toll. I can't remember the last time I felt good. If you experience any of these signs of stress on a regular basis, make time to talk to your doctor. Tips to manage stress • Know what community resources are available. Adult day programs, in-home assistance, visiting nurses and meal delivery are just some of the services that can help you manage daily tasks. Visit the Alzheimer’s Association Iowa Chapter’s Programs Event Calendar or contact the 24/7 Helpline at 1-800272-3900 for assistance in finding Alzheimer's care resources in your community. • Get help and find support. The Alzheimer’s Association’s online Care Team Calendar helps you organize friends and family who want to help provide care and support. The ALZConnected online community and local support groups are all good sources for finding comfort and reassurance. If stress becomes overwhelming, seek professional help. • Use relaxation techniques. There are several simple relaxation techniques that can help relieve stress. Try more than one to find which works best for you. Techniques include: o Visualization – mentally picturing a place or situation that is peaceful and calm o Meditation – which can be as simple as dedicating 15 minutes a day to letting go of all stressful thoughts o Breathing exercises – slowing your breathing and focusing on taking deep breaths o Progressive muscle relaxation – tightening and then relaxing each muscle group, starting at one end of your body and working your way to the other end • Get moving. Physical activity — in any form — can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being. Even 10 minutes of exercise a day can help. Take a walk. Do an activity you love, such as gardening or dancing. • Find time for yourself. Consider taking advantage of respite care so you can spend time doing something 17
you enjoy. Respite care provides caregivers with a temporary rest from caregiving, while the person with Alzheimer’s disease continues to receive care in a safe environment. • Become an educated caregiver. As the disease progresses, new caregiving skills may be necessary. The Alzheimer's Association offers programs to help you better understand and cope with the behaviors and personality changes that often accompany Alzheimer's. You may also find it helpful to talk to other care partners and caregivers about how they are coping with the challenges of the disease and uncertainty about the future. • Take care of yourself. Visit your doctor regularly. Try to eat well, exercise and get plenty of rest. Making sure that you are healthy can help you be a better caregiver. • Make legal and financial plans. Putting legal and financial plans in place after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis is important so that the person with the disease can participate. Having future plans in place can provide comfort to the entire family. Many documents can be prepared without the help of an attorney. However, if you are unsure about how to complete legal documents or make financial plans, you may want to seek assistance from an attorney specializing in elder law, a financial advisor who is familiar with elder or long-term care planning, or both. To learn more about caregiver stress and health, visit alz.org.
The Future and Rising Dreams of North High Football N orth High School has been the center of the North side community for years, from its first location on Eighth and College Avenue to its current location on Sixth and Holcomb; the school’s mascot, the Polar Bear, has been the symbol of this urban neighborhood in Des Moines. North High School football is a well-loved tradition that has been passed down for generations. The football program has been going through a major development for the past decade. The last time they had a good season was in 1999–nearly 23 years ago. North has been up and down, only winning one or two games per season, while losing 7 or more. Many coaches come and go; there have been attempts to change the program, but many give up and move on to a different school. Suburban schools, such as West Des Moines or Ankeny, are far more recognized for their football programs, while Des Moines metro schools such as North, East, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Hoover are not. But that will no longer be the case; this year that will change. One coach has chosen to
rewrite history and create footsteps for a better future. Head Coach, Eric Addy, is the key to leading the program in the right direction. Addy is the first coach in recent years that has won 4 games this season. During my time at North High, I had two different coaches: Keith Hanks during my Sophomore year and Sean Quinlan for my junior and Senior years. Addy served as an Assistant Coach during this time. He was determined and diligent in motivating the athletes. He believes in this concept of “Burn the Ship”. The story goes: A captain and his sailor were stranded on an island. They want to give up, but the captain orders his crew to burn the whole ship because there is a ship on the other side of the island where enemies are located; this encourages a determination to fight and win, instead of giving up. Coach Addy never forgot where he came from and what the North High community meant to him. He has worked and learned from previous coaches, so in 2020, he became the head coach for the football program. Because of his boldness and trust in the players, the team was boosted to another level of success. This year was an example of their recent success– they outperformed their opponents and scored high, beating Waterloo, East, Lincoln, and Hoover. But the big game was a longtime rival that holds a continuous rivalry: East High. On the 120th meeting, and for the first time ever, they finally beat their town neighbors with a score of 46 to 14. This was a big shock to the community, including myself, while others predicted it would happen because of their progression since 2020. Former North High star football player Deavin Hilson, a 6’1, 200lb pound linebacker and running back, received a full-ride scholarship to the University of Iowa with only a few games and a scrimmage. He was the first in a long time that received that kind of opportunity from the University of Iowa. These kinds of opportunities help create motivation from all athletes in all sports and help to create a new mindset–to believe that they, too, can be successful and go to college. Coach Addy believes in his players, and they do the same. It is important to move forward and become “better than you were yesterday.” Three of his star athletes are the reason he had successful wins this season. #1 Zack Seckee, #51 Kevin Quayee, and #3 Aron Gonkaryon helped take their team to 4-1 to begin the season. The Polar Bears prove to everyone, including themselves, that practice makes improvement, not necessarily perfection. They don’t look back toward the past, but instead, show up and do better the next day. These successes are being passed down to
the youth, creating a rising dream on the horizon. As of today, the Polar Bears have shown up, despite being 4-5 in the season. To them, it is about becoming a better version of themselves and never looking back. Instead of looking at the scoreboard or what others may think about them, they focus on trying to improve and learn from past mistakes. This year is the best performance by far, and they are not stopping anytime soon. Coach Addy and the Polar Bears made history at North High School that many will remember. After a long time of rebuilding, this is only the beginning. This year is all about development and team bonding that sets a standard for the upcoming years. As an alumnus of North High School, I congratulate them on their accomplished season. It is a great day to be a Polar Bear! Photos and Article by Gianni Berry N 21
NEIGHBORHOOD FINANCE CORPORATION Homebuyer Education L earning the ins and outs of homeownership can be tough, you may not know where to begin. Homebuyer education can be a key component when it comes to deciding if you’re ready. Not all lenders or loan programs require firsttime homebuyers to take a course, but some may require you to attend a class for program eligibility. Lenders encourage first-time homebuyers to complete a homebuyer education course as early in their home search as possible. If you miss out on the education course, you may lose the opportunity to gain perspective on new or unique loan programs that could educate you on making the change from renting to owning. Here are a few topics that are discussed in a first-time homebuyers’ class: · Whether you’re ready for homeownership · Budgeting and money management · Assessing your creditworthiness · Programs that can help you buy your first home · Comparing different types of mortgages The focus of homebuyer education classes is to prepare you for buying a home. Certain aspects of the course will focus on how much money you need for a down payment, how much you can afford, and the costs of home maintenance. Homebuyer education can also help non-first-time homebuyers, such as individuals that have bounced back from financial hardship and are ready to buy again. This will help these individuals to freshen up on new skills, tips, and the overall home-buying process. Neighborhood Finance Corporation (NFC) encourages all first-time homebuyers to complete a homebuyer education class prior to looking for a home or signing a purchase agreement. In fact, if the education course is completed prior to signing the purchase agreement with an NFC Advantage Loan, NFC will provide a $75 credit to the homebuyer at closing. There are a variety of options for taking a homebuyer education class, including both in-person and virtual opportunities. Community organizations that are HUDapproved, such as HOME Inc. in Des Moines, can offer in-person classes or may have a virtual option. HomeView™ is Fannie Mae’s online homebuyer education class that you complete on your own and is available in six languages. Now the big question is, what is this going to cost? The cost varies with the different agencies that offer the classes. Some start at $75 and some are completely free. Talk with your first mortgage lender to see if they have any additional requirements. The United States Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) has a list of HUD Approved Counseling Agencies on their website [http://www.hud.gov/ offices/hsg/sfh/hcc/hcs.cfm]. Check online to find one near you! Homebuyer Education VS Housing Counseling You may have heard the term, housing counseling, which is different from homebuyer education because housing counseling is unique to an individual’s financial situation. Housing counseling is usually a time to meet one on one to establish an action plan to fulfill a dream of homeownership. The action plan may include: creating and following a household budget, improving a credit score, or other goals specific to your household. Housing counseling is often suggested for those who are ineligible for a loan, are in need of the one-on-one assistance, or are required by a lender because of possible low credit scores and/or lack of savings or down payment. Research has shown that homebuyer education can provide timely and powerful support for people as they weigh their options and make decisions about homeownership. Buying a home is one of the largest purchases someone can make. For new homebuyers, it is crucial that they are prepared as much as possible. Homebuyer education not only prepares you to make a decision about whether you are ready to purchase a home, but it also prepares you for what happens next. Buying a home is a huge decision, but you don’t have to go into it blind. If you decide that you’re not ready after taking a course, that’s fine! Although you will want to check with the agency to see how long the certificate is good for since some programs or lenders will have an expiration date on their certificates. In the meantime, start to make goals for you and your household to work on to set yourself up for success as a future homeowner. 23
PUBLIC AFFAIRS Jamil Rivers, Board President METAvivor Research and Support, Inc. Written By: Celeste Lawson
J amil Rivers was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at age 39. Determined to fight and be here for her children, husband and family, she researched vigorously to learn how to best prepare for her battle to survive. Jamil initially had chemotherapy treatment, she worked to improve her nutrition with food and supplements, and incorporated integrative therapies for side effects. She is doing well and now on endocrine therapy. She continues to work full-time as a nonprofit chief financial officer and live an active life. She believes that the research she did to prepare herself for her cancer fight has been critical in her recovery and overall wellness. She became an advocate to use her voice and experiences to help advance legislative policy, medical research and customize support to better meet the needs of individuals impacted by breast cancer, particularly for metastatic and African American patients. Jamil is President of METAvivor Research and Support, a Young Advocate and Board Member of Living Beyond Breast Cancer. She is a policy, science and health equity advocate, and metastatic advisory committee member with Susan G. Komen. She is a member and patient advisor of the Metastatic Breast Cancer Alliance. She is a proposal reviewer for the Breast Cancer Research Program with the Department of Defense and a Project LEAD graduate. She also launched The Chrysalis Initiative which provides mentoring, and resource navigation, to women with breast cancer, and engages in outreach and education for African American women to assess their breast cancer risk. Through Jamil’s work, she has participated in countless community health events, facilitated the design and funding of two metastatic clinical trials, met with leadership within the Pennsylvania governor’s office and congressional leaders in Washington, D.C., testified to the (U.S.) Food and Drug Administration (FDA), and connected numerous women to resources for screenings, treatment and support. Jamil has been featured in People Magazine, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Philadelphia Tribune, national campaigns for Anthropologie, Novartis, Pfizer, and Cancer and Careers, and has also made appearances on CBS News and Good Morning America. Jamil and her husband, Rick, have three children and reside in Drexel Hill, PA. The following are excerpts from the interview with Jamil that was conducted on October 17, 2022. Celeste: What are the primary goals as president of METAvivor Research and Support, Inc.? Jamil Rivers: To bring more public awareness to metastatic breast cancer and to raise more money for metastatic breast cancer research. I think that most people, the general public, thinks that no one dies from metastatic breast cancer anymore. The survival rate, across all stages, for five years is good, however, we still have many people…115 people per day… that are still dying from breast cancer. So, it is great that we are not dying immediately, but we still have a lot of people dying from breast cancer, which the breast cancer that you die from…is metastatic breast Jamil has been featured in People Magazine, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Philadelphia Tribune, national campaigns for Anthropologie, Novartis, Pfizer, and Cancer and Careers, and has also made appearances on CBS News and Good Morning America. Jamil and her husband, Rick, have three children and reside in Drexel Hill, PA. 25
cancer. So, instead of just focusing on screening and prevention…and yes, it is great for it to be detected early to let you have basic treatment options…but that is not going to eliminate the risk of death later, so we do need to have more focus on research and developing treatment and therapies for metastatic breast cancer…and just finding it early…or having chemo early…or having radiation, and things of that nature, is not going to eliminate the risk of death later, or the risk of breast cancer becoming metastatic later. We are finding now that metastatic breast cancer is very similar to what we find with HIV/AIDS, where cells travel through your body and your bloodstream… the spread of these cells are what make the breast cancer metastasize to other organs in the body…even after the breasts are removed, and even after you have received chemotherapy and radiation. So, it is really important for folks to understand that metastatic breast cancer requires ongoing treatment, maintenance and monitoring…chemotherapy and treatment will not completely eliminate or cure the disease. Right now, there is not a cure for metastatic breast cancer and it is a very complicated cancer to solve. Our best hope is to transition the disease from terminal to one that is chronic with a good quality of life. Make it a disease that is something that we can live with…and is managed, similarly to HIV/AIDS…we need more public attention and research dollars to invest in the therapeutics that are going to sustain life with metastatic breast cancer. Right now, men and women living with metastatic breast cancer literally live from one treatment bridge to the next, until they run out of options. Celeste: Relative to your organizational goals, what are the major successes, and what are the goals that you may consider most challenging? Jamil Rivers: I think the biggest thing is that we have had great success in bringing more public awareness and funding $23,150,000 in metastatic breast cancer research. We have also funded about a million dollars in research to determine why people of color have poorer outcomes when diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. We are eager for our research to transition to clinical trials. It is what we look forward to the most. We do not fund prevention of metastasis. While there is a place for that, many organizations count that toward solving at stage IV, and that isn’t what we do. METAvivor funds research that can help me and others living with metastatic breast cancer. It is not just a lip service to say that it is metastatic, or use it in the title. It is going to have clinical utilization within five years. It also benefits people with metastatic breast cancer. So, it's not just a research into hoping that we don’t get to that stage, but actually viable treatments and therapeutics for metastatic breast cancer folks to know that this is something that could be beneficial to them, and life-changing, meaning that it has an impact on their disease. This is certainly what sets us apart. Our existence also puts that pressure on other organizations to follow suit…us being able to set the standard as far as what is considered to even be metastatic breast cancer research, I think is very important. It is important to make our community aware of what that actually entails…and then making sure that the general public also understands what this all means. What is metastatic breast cancer? What are the implications? Are we really making the progress that we say we are? As patients, we like to hear that new treatments have a greater progressionfree survival rate, but what we really want is overall survival rates to change. That means fewer of us are dying. Some of the biggest challenges are that we have had organizations and companies where breast cancer is a big business. We have these companies that have been around now for 25, 30, 50 years, and have made little progress toward solving stage IV breast cancer… but we still need more progress when it comes to metastatic breast cancer. 30% of early-stage breast cancer patients can and do become metastatic 1 month to 20 years after diagnosis. Some may say, ‘wait a minute’…we have people that don’t reach metastatic disease for 10 or 20 years? Yes, that is true, and yes, that is still dying from metastatic breast cancer, even if it is 5, 10, or 20
years later. Just because we have reached that stability, or ‘no evidence of active disease’ where we have progression-free survival…you know…it’s under control, we need more control for people who have reached that metastatic stage…because that is the only breast cancer you die from. Celeste: How may the public support your goals relative to metastatic breast cancer awareness? Jamil Rivers: People need to understand that metastatic breast cancer is not an outlier, it is not something that is a rare occurrence, or something that happens to the few, and far between. This is how you die from breast cancer… you are not dying from when the tumor is still in the breast. So, when you are thinking about organizations that you are supporting, what are they doing with those dollars? Is there transparency in how they are using those dollars for investment, and what is the ultimate impact? If we are just shifting the same dirt around on the floor, then we are actually not making any progress…then those aren’t true investment viability of those dollars. What is actually going to be an impact to solve at stage IV? We as advocates, have no more acceptance for the status quo, but really pushing on how we can use resources in order to provide dynamic change to the landscape, instead of just kind of rehashing the same old solutions, using the same investments in solutions and not really having any significant change. Metastatic breast cancer is not a rare disease, metastatic breast cancer is when you die from breast cancer. There has been some progress made over the past few years and some people can live for five years, but not everyone, and our median survival rate still stands at 24 months. That is unacceptable. We still have 115 people that are succumbing to this disease every day and there has to be more public awareness, research investment, and being more scrutinizing as to where that investment goes in order for us to have more impact on the change that we want to see. Celeste: Are there any final thoughts that you would like to share? Jamil Rivers: I would also say the equity is important as well. Just thinking about how we could reduce the 27 amount of deaths due to metastatic breast cancer if there is more emphasis on making sure that we eliminate bias and racism in our healthcare system, or having accountability measurements and mechanisms in order to make sure that people are not receiving substandard care. That would also improve the death rates when it comes to metastatic breast cancer. Just thinking about some of the bureaucracy that we have in some of our public health systems, why is it that we just have these ridiculous waiting periods for people to access their benefits, or they have to be destitute without any type of resources before they can receive public assistance, and be eligible to have their coverage, for their treatment for metastatic breast cancer? We should have interest outcomes…if we would just get out of our own way and think about the investment that it would take to make sure that we have access to the immediate coverage that is needed instead of all of these nuances where if it is an oral treatment, then it is not going to be covered, but if I am hooked up to a machine, then it would be covered by my insurance. So, thinking about what is most conducive for living with this disease longer and having better outcomes for all people, we have to shift our thoughts about how we are really investing dollars and resources in that public awareness, because ultimately we are trying to eliminate people dying from this disease…and the way we do that is with more research investment going for metastatic breast cancer. So, metastatic breast cancer is the one that you die from…the therapeutics, the treatments, and the investments have to go there…and it also includes having accountability when it comes to standard of care. Celeste: Thank you. *To learn more about METAvivor, go to https://www. metavivor.org/.
You Can Advertise Here! IOWA ARTISTS 2022: MIRIAM ALARCÓN AVILA THRU JANUARY 15, 2023 ARTIST LECTURE + EXHIBITION RECEPTION SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 13 | 1:30 PM REGISTER AT desmoinesartcenter.org Using their own words to create luchador personas, Alarcón Avila tells the stories of the Latinx people in her community. Miriam Alarcón Avila / Luchador Jaguar de Río, 2017 Color photograph / Work and images courtesy of the artist This exhibition is supported by | | You Can Advertise Here!
JOURNEY TO HOMEOWNERSHIP YOUR HOMEOWNERSHIP DREAMS CAN COME TRUE! Journey to Homeownership offers support to African Americans looking to become homeowners. If you’ve dreamed about owning a home, but don’t know where to start or feel it is unattainable, our new Journey to Homeownership (J2H) initiative can help you make your dream a reality. J2H offers support to African Americans looking to become homeowners by not only providing tools, resources, and information about the process but also a down payment assistance program. www.neighborhoodfinance.org/journey-to-homeownership For more information, contact Bridgett Robinson NFC D&I Mortgage Loan Originator & Outreach Coordinator NMLS# 2244064 brobinson@neighborhoodfinance.org 515-273-1373 NMLS# 8943
HOLIDAY FUN FOR EVERYONE! Spend the Holidays at the Des Moines Civic Center December 8 | 7:30 PM December 22 | 2:00 PM & 7:00 PM December 27 | 6:00 PM • December 28 | 3:00 PM GET YOUR TICKETS TODAY! DMPA.org · Civic Center Ticket Office · (515) 246-2300 31
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Syphilis is on the rise in Iowa. Syphilis is a sexually transmitted infection. It is more common and easier to get than you might think. Early symptoms can include a painless sore or rash, which you may not notice. Syphilis is curable but can lead to serious health problems without treatment. It can permanently damage the eyes, brain, heart, and nervous system. If you are sexually active, make sure that getting a blood test for syphilis is part of your regular health routine. Find a testing location near you: gettested.cdc.gov Free & low cost options available. LET US DO YOUR TAXES FOR FREE You may be eligible to receive FREE tax preparation. Dial 211 to schedule an appointment. Learn more at 33
GreenState.org GIVING BACK TO THE COMMUNITY In 2022, GreenState supported over 900 charitable programs and events. This year GreenState staff will volunteer over 3,000 hours to support charities and local community events. GreenState contributed over $3,700,000 to support lowa charities and events in 2022. As we grow, so does this amount. AUTO LENDER IN IOWA MORTGAGE LENDER IN IOWA As a financial cooperative, GreenState’s cooperative structure benefits all Iowans. Through competitive pricing and low fees, millions of dollars each year goes back into the pockets of members. Even non-members benefit from the competitive financial services landscape in our state. GIVING BACK TO THE MEMBERS GreenState has consistently ranked in the top 1% nationally for returning earnings to members in the form of better rates on loans and deposits. FINANCIAL INSTITUTION GreenState US Bank Chase Wells Fargo (9,967 U.S. Institutions) RANK 83 6,493 7,114 8,869 *Data provided by Callahan and Associates 6/30/22 GIVING BACK TO IOWANS Rewards Checking • CDs & IRAs • Money Markets Insurance • Home / Auto Loans • Credit Cards Investments & Trust Services • Business Loans 35
Angela Jackson Debra Carr Angela Jackson, Esq. is an Entrepreneur and owner of The Great Frame Up which is an Art Gallery and Custom Framing Business located in West Des Moines. She also is Senior Vice President of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at Athene USA Corporation. Angela serves her community as Board Member of The West Des Moines Chamber, Des Moines Arts Festival, Cornerstone Family Church and an Honorary Board Member for Des Moines Performing Arts. She is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. and The Des Moines Chapter of the Links, Incorporated. Angela is a Thought Leader and alumni of Washington University School of Law and Duke University. Debra Carr serves professionally and personally as a champion for diversity, inclusion, and equity. Uplifting women and girls to become the best version of themselves is foundational. Debra is Principal Consultant and owner of Carr and Associates and works full-time for Des Moines Public Schools consulting for building level administrators, faculty, and staff to achieve school improvement goals. Debra has received numerous awards and is a champion for her community in which she has served for many years. Gary Lawson Gary Lawson is a freelance writer who focuses on various aspects of business and government. He earned a graduate degree in Government Administration, and an undergraduate degree in Business Administration with a duel concentration in Management and Marketing. He is a VietnamEra veteran who has served as a Commissioned Officer in the United States Army. In addition, he has taught business courses at Drake University and Des Moines Area Community College. C O NTRIB UT O RS Celeste Lawson Celeste Lawson is a freelance writer who focuses on various aspects of education and cultural diversity. She earned a graduate degree in Curriculum and Instruction, and an undergraduate degree in Elementary Education, with concentrations in English and Language Arts. In addition, she has more than 20 years of classroom experience with teaching students at the primary, secondary, and postsecondary levels. Lenore Metrick-Chen Lenore Metrick-Chen Associate Professor of Art and Cultural History at Drake University. She specializes in exploring visual art as a means of cultural communication, racial justice, and collective memory.
Caleb Thomas Bert Moody For over ten years Caleb has worked in the field of counseling with youth and their families, as a school counselor, behavioral health intervention services counselor, and a mental health counselor. Today Caleb has his own Mental Health private practice, Thomas & Associates Counseling & Consulting which is located in Iowa City, Iowa. His practice focuses on the spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional well-being of each individual client. Caleb works with children, youth, adults, couples and families helping them solve tough problems with a Christ-centered, solution-focused approach. His desire is to bring about a positive change to the various challenges life can bring. Caleb is an Ordained and Licensed Minister and Elder and volunteers his time as a Ministry Director for Lifepointe Christian Faith Center. Bert Moody is a Photographer, an IT Consultant, and Web Designer for the Urban Experience Magazine. He has been with the magazine from its inception. He has been a Freelance Photographer in the Des Moines area since 1985, first with Esquire Photo Agency and now with Imagez Photo Studio (www. imagezphotostudio.com). He also is a longtime associate at Nationwide Insurance as is a part of their National Network of Black Associates. Bert volunteers for many activities in the community and is a Board member with The Des Moines Urban Experience. Bert is married with three grown children. C O NTRIB UT O RS Donetta Austin Donnetta Austin is from the Midwest. Her accomplishments include graduating from Scott Eastern Iowa Community College as a Registered & Certified Dental Assistant. She has worked in healthcare for seventeen years. She also provides care for elderly as a certified nurse aide and currently attending DMACC as a Nursing student. Donnetta became an author of her book “Never Retire God” in 2017. This book can be purchased on Amazon. She enjoys writing inspirational books and articles. She feels this is apart of her life’s purpose. Her writing expresses the importance of living a life with no regrets, uplifting others, and making a significant impact by sharing her testimony. It is her life’s goal to make a difference in the lives of others. 37 Lori A. Young Lori A. Young is a native of Des Moines and a graduate of Tech High School and Grand View University. Her professional experience lies in corporate internal and marketing communications. Currently she is self-employed on assignment with the non-profit organization, Just Voices Iowa, as a Communications Director and Project Manager. In her spare time, she’s a feature writer, artist, and community organizer/social activist fighting on issues such as racial, environmental, and economic justice for over 10 years.
Cleophus “Cleo” Franklin Jr. Cleophus “Cleo” Franklin Jr.’s leadership expertise is globally recognized. His passion for designing robust business growth, brand strategies, and implementing innovative, disruptive business models have benefited many global businesses and industries. Franklin’s values and beliefs are centered on approaching difficult challenges with curiosity and a beginner’s mindset. He is a purpose-driven leader who embraces servant leadership and investing in the personal and professional development of the next generation of leaders. His leadership career spans over thirty years with John Deere, Case-New Holland, and Mahindra as a global executive. Franklin is a published author. His global leadership book Coffee with Cleo (coffeewithcleo.com) was launched in June 2020. His book highlights ten leadership lessons from his global business executive career. Through artful and engaging storytelling, it showcases how one can navigate challenges successfully in our ever-changing, fastpaced, and complex business world by using an innovative entrepreneurship mindset and proven framework to improve your livelihood, but more importantly, your life. Courageous Fire Gianni Berry Courageous exited a 13-year intimate partner relationship because she discovered it was steeped in multiple abuses, including psychological. sexual, and spiritual. This experience made her not only want to learn how and why it happened to her, but how she and other Black sisters could avoid it in the future. Her gift of converting personal life experiences into educational currency is well proven; however, this time she believes it has led her to develop what may be the most important work in her 9 years of curriculum design and delivery - Empowerment through the Arts™. Black trauma-informed therapists recommend it and Black female focus group participants are finding the program’s gains to be sustainable. Courageous has begun the work in the community that interacts with the Black female survivor as well, bringing tools that allow them to see the Black female victimsurvivor’s needs and address them appropriately in her Awareness Education, Survivor Empowerment, and Community Support Training. She is thrilled to bring the work of Courageous Fire, LLC to the pages of the Urban Experience Magazine to keep growing the numbers of Black sisters that get the help they need. Stay Connected to Courageous: Website, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter C O NTRIB UT O RS Gianni Berry is a 24-year-old Des Moines native. He completed his education in the Des Moines Public School district. After graduation from North High school in 2016, he attended Indian Hills Community College and finished his undergraduate studies at Grandview University in 2021, where he majored in Liberal Arts. He was in honor society all four years of college. In addition, Mr. Berry played football, basketball, and was a team member of the Viking track team. Upon graduating from Grandview, Gianni decided to formally study and pursue a photography degree from Des Moines Area Community College. After taking a photography course at Indian Hills, Gianni discovered a passion for creativity through photo expression. His artistic goal is to tell the stories of life, people, and events through pictures.
It's important to take the time to acknowledge the uniqueness of the deceased: the individuality of their personality, and the uniqueness of their life's path. Not just for them, but for you; it affirms the relationship, and leads to healing after loss. Honoring their life is truly an act of love – for the both of you. “WE’RE FAMILY” PHONE: (515) 309-6550 3500 SIXTH AVENUE DES MOINES, IA 50313 HENDERSONSHP.COM 39
GET SCREENED LUNG CANCER IS THE TOP CAUSE OF CANCER DEATH IN THE U.S. WHO SHOULD BE SCREENED? People who are age 50+ who: • Currently smoke or have quit in the past 15 years • Have a 20 pack-year smoking history (ex: a pack a day for 20 years or two packs a day for 10 years) Schedule a screening today: (515) 282-6246 1801 Hickman Road, Des Moines, IA www.broadlawns.org
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