ERIC JOYNER, ENTANGLED - ERICJOYNER.COM ISSUE 116 | AUGUST 2023 PIRANHA II: JONNY DESTEFANO BLUE MORPHO: KRYSTI JOMÉI WATERFALLS: JULIANNA BECKERT QUICKSAND: KAYVAN S. T. KHALATBARI MOTH ORCHID: CRISTIN COLVIN ECHOLOCATION: MARK MOTHERSBAUGH MACHETE: MEGAN ARENSON FRONT COVER: RICKY, RECONNAISSANCE BACK COVER: MOON_PATROL, UNTITLED POISON DART FROGS: ERIC JOYNER, BRIAN POLK, NATE BALDING, JOEL TAGERT, ZAC DUNN, HANA ZITTEL, KID KOALA, NICK FLOOK, ERIN BARNES, JASON WHITE, MAGGIE NERZ IRIBARNE, TOM MURPHY, DAVE DANZARA, CAITLYN GRABENSTEIN, MOON_PATROL BIRDS OF PARADISE: RICKY, 4K HEAVEN, JULIEN, AXEL BUECKERT, CORINNE MERRELL, ROB GINSBERG, CHRIS GIPPLE BULLET ANTS: MARIANO OREAMUNO, HANA ZITTEL, DS THORNBURG, PHIL GARZA, ZAC DUNN, CRISTIN COLVIN SUPPORT OUR FRIENDS AND BENEFACTORS: TERRAPIN CARE STATION, MEOW WOLF, MUTINY INFORMATION CAFE, BENNY BLANCO'S, DENVER FILM, MONKEY BARREL, SEXY PIZZA, OFF THE BOTTLE REFILL SHOP, FRONTIÈRE NATURAL MEATS, TOXOPLASMA ARTS FOLLOW US – IG: @BIRDY.MAGAZINE | FB: @BIRDYMAGAZINE BE IN BIRDY – ART + WORDS + ET CETERA: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SUBMISSIONS MONTHLY MAILED SUBSCRIPTIONS + BACK ISSUES + MERCH: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/SHOP ADVERTISE IN BIRDY + SUPPORT US: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM/CONTACT-US BIRDY IS DENVER'S SKULL ISLAND, MONSTER ASSORTMENT MONTHLY ©2023 BIRDY MAGAZINE, SHELTER BEFORE NIGHTFALL 1
4K HEAVEN, POD I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY, SO I CAME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE By brian polk THE LAST TIME I CUT MY FINGER, MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS TO USE THE BLOOD TO WRITE A NOTE THAT JUST SAID, “YOU!” AND SAVE IT IN A FOLDER IN CASE I NEEDED TO SEND IT TO SOMEONE AT SOME POINT My second thought was, What the fuck is wrong with me? I WONDER IF ANY COUPLES HAVE BROKEN UP DUE TO IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES IN TIKTOK VIDEO PREFERENCES I think everyone has had the experience of a friend or coworker insisting you watch a social media video so you can laugh in their presence. They hold their phone up to your eyeballs and await your response with that goofy look of anticipation on their face. But all you can muster is a halfhearted smile as you say something like, “Yep, that sure is funny.” Now imagine if your significant other was always making you watch unfunny videos in this manner. At some point you would have to sit them down and say, “Look honey (or sweet boobs, sugar balls, nonbinary love bestie or whatever you call your indulging love bun), I love you and all, but there’s simply no way I can stay together with someone who finds this shit funny.” It’s kind of like that time I broke up with a No. 116 lover because they didn’t think Naked Gun was in any way humorous. (How could I be with someone like that?) I bet these things happen more often than we might assume. AS I USED THE HOSE TO CLEAN THE VOMIT OFF OF MY FRIEND’S DRIVEWAY THE LAST TIME I WAS PARTYING IN LA, I MARVELED AT HOW FAR THAT WATER HAD TO TRAVEL JUST TO CARRY MY STOMACH REJECTS AWAY FROM THE HOUSE If it was Colorado River water, it may have flowed over 1,400 miles. That’s a hell of a trip to wash a stomach full of vodka and curly fries off of an LA-area driveway. I wished it well as it transported my tummy chunks into the Pacific. IT’S WEIRD HOW MY FRIENDS WITH KIDS DON’T WANT CHILD-REARING ADVICE FROM SOMEONE LIKE ME WHO SHUDDERS AT THE VERY THOUGHT OF HAVING MY OWN KIDS Considering I have zero experience with raising kids — and especially since I don’t even like children very much — I guess it’s not so surprising.
Still, I like to think the parenting-related tidbits I’ve gleaned from advice columns and podcasts that I randomly proclaim when their kids are acting up would help my friends in their child-rearing journeys. Alas, they do not. When I tell them my thoughts on the matter, they say shit like, “Do you want my advice on how to play the drums?” Alas, I do not. Sometimes people should really stay in their lane, you know? THE INDOOR PEOPLE DON’T GET TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT THE WEATHER I know a lot of people who spend their entire lives in temperature controlled environments. From offices to cars, they never actually experience anything related to the outdoors — unless they’re walking from one comfortable setting to the next. And they have the audacity to complain about the weather all the time. How does that make sense? They’ve spent maybe one percent of their cumulative lives outside, and as such, they don’t even have a large enough sample size to make an informed judgment. That would be like me having an opinion about sports or video games. I don’t know if I’ve ever said this, but sometimes people should really stay in their lane, you know? ACTUALLY, COME TO THINK OF IT, I DO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT SPORTS AND VIDEO GAMES I am against them. AW SHIT, NOW I KNOW WHY INDOOR PEOPLE HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT THE WEATHER They’re against it. I suppose they would go outside if there wasn’t always a bunch of fucking weather afoot. I guess I need to issue an apology to the indoor people that I only very recently realized I should not be maligning. Sorry indoor dorks! I get it now. DAMN IT, I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T REFER TO THEM AS “DORKS” EITHER They’re weather-intolerant. And the way climate change is rapidly affecting every aspect of daily life these days, we’re all going to be weather intolerant soon. So, I suppose they may have the last laugh after all. Then again, they’d be kind of jerky for laughing at the rest who are going to be having a bad time due to a hostile outside environment. And that isn’t cool. Who do these indoor folks think they are anyway? I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T MEAN THAT. IT’S JUST THAT SOMETIMES WHEN I THINK ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING, I GET ALL DISTRAUGHT AND ANXIOUS AND THEN I TAKE IT OUT ON WHOMEVER I’M TALKING TO, AND YOU HAPPENED TO BE THERE. SO IT’S REALLY MY PROBLEM, NOT YOURS. AND AGAIN, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR. I REALLY HOPE YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME. Okay, that’s it. I’m done with this. I need to stop insulting the dregs of society so I don’t have to keep apologizing. OH JEEZ, “DREGS” ISN’T NICE EITHER, IS IT? I’m going to go ahead and finish this month’s column the same way I started it, by asking myself, What the fuck is wrong with me?
Werewolf Radar MOGOLLON THROUGH THE MOTIONS BY NATE BALDING They say there’s somethin’ up there. Somethin’ that ain’t no human but ain’t no animal. Somethin’ that’s made the Mogollon Rim Trail in Arizona its personal huntin’ ground. It has a 22-inch track and walks all wide-style, like it just finished riding a tornado or has an upsetting amount of sweat in an unfortunate place. It’s a mimic, uttering noises normally made by birds or coyotes depending on whether or not some of those bones it ate made it through its digestive tract a little too intact on exit. It’s been known to decapitate deer and other prey before consuming them, tearing at ‘em like a condemned man with a mountain of lobsters before he makes the walk down dead man’s corridor. It builds giant nests out of leaves and twigs and unsurprisingly investigates camps for better ideas, accidentally snapping tent zippers and wishing it knew how to produce nylon as it picks pine needles out of its hair. With such a superlative compounding of traits, surely it has a ferocious name — something to merit the terror one must feel when encountering it. Skull-Gnasher; Bone-Puller; The Arizona Rimjob; Empty Nest Starring Richard Kill Again; something that makes a teenager with a leather jacket carve it into their homeroom desk with a switchblade. Instead they went with the Mogollon Monster. The desks of Arizona remain unscathed. First sighted in 1903 and reported to The Arizona Republican by I. W. Stevens who described more of a time-displaced missing link than a giant monster, citing its long white beard and hair, a light coating of gray hair over most of its body and 2-inch claws that could easily be unkempt fingernails. You know, the way we all looked during quarantine. Allegedly it charged at Stevens with a giant club and, just as Stevens raised his rifle, it stopped, distracted by a mountain lion. Stevens, noticing the lion had two cubs, shot and killed it instead of the thing attempting to beat him to death and, being a great sport hunter, told the cubs he’d be back for them next year before fleeing to a boat in an act of total cowardice. The Mogollon Monster wouldn’t be spotted again until the mid1940s. 13-year-old Don Davis was on a camping trip with his Boy Scout troop near Payson, Arizona. One night he was awoken by the sound of rummaging. Fearing that his candy stash or lascivious pinup calendar of World War II bombers would be uncovered, he leapt into action and eked out a high-pitched, “Wh-who’s there?” Davis couldn’t make out any features at first but as it approached he could see how huge it was. Much bigger than the Scout leader at night, Davis thought, breathing a sigh of relief. He was overtaken by its acrid stench which, in recollection, he chuckles thinking initially he’d “messed his sleeping bag.” An assertion he has yet to withdraw. The eyes were either black or shadowed by their depth inside the beast’s head. Unlike the Stevens encounter, it seems the monster intended no harm and simply walked away, leaving an imprint on a child that would lead him into a career as a cryptozoologist as an adult. Sightings have continued at least into the last decade. Between 1982 and 2004 Marjorie Grimes witnessed a hulking, black thing walking with massive strides on multiple occasions. In 2014 an unnamed student hiking around the Payson area, where Davis’ life-altering confrontation occurred, ran afoul of what she described as a troll lapping at the surface of a pool of water. Talking to Cryptozoology News, a site I think we can all agree is definitely reporting only absolute truths, the student said it was an expressionless, large human-looking thing with no hair and covered in bumps — if only it’d stolen a BIC from a camp decades earlier it might have been nicknamed Ol’ Razor Burn but, alas — with brownred eyes and a big nose. Startled by another presence it sped off at full tilt. Despite the wide variety of characterizations and likelihood that at least one of them is an obvious fabrication by an overzealous outdoorsman, it seems clear that somethin’ is up there and, if anything, it needs a cooler of shaving cream and aloe. If you’re reading this, Ol’ Razor Burn, get ready for a glam up. HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PARANORMAL? No. 116 SEND THEM TO: WEREWOLFRADARPOD@GMAIL.COM OR TWITTER: @WEREWOLFRADAR. IT’S A BIG, WEIRD WORLD. DON’T BE SCARED. BE PREPARED.
ART BY JULIEN Well, you did it. How do you feel? Back to my usual miserable self. Gedim Weitz, aches and all. This was a mistake. Tell me about it. The symbiote isn’t harmful. I feel more alive than ever. You don’t know that, Joira. The symbiote could be— I don’t know how I feel? The fibers in your nervous system could be producing those feelings. Hell, they probably are. Manipulating your brain chemistry, producing endorphins to convince you not to fight it. The best thing you can do is get into this pod and clean it out of your system. No way. You’re risking your life. I’m not. Can you at least do daily physicals for me? Fine. We’re going to keep talking about this. But moving on for now. Have you No. 116 checked out the ship? You’ve been in the pod three days. I have certainly checked out the ship. Three days? Goddamn. That stuff really didn’t want to get evicted. Correct. But the ship is fully operational. Like, fully operational? Fully. Wow. Wow. You’re sure. We can’t be sure until we turn it on. But given the Agastya is here at all, where it otherwise couldn’t possibly be, we can assume the drive works as advertised. Faster than light. Wow. And the crew? You need to watch this. Goddamn. And fuckity fuck, yeah. So Torv and company succeed in building the world’s first faster than light drive—
The first built by humans. Right. They turn it on and set course for Earth, by way of becoming the richest, most powerful, most famous people in history. But instead they end up in Talend, where they promptly leave the ship and disappear. Why? Why don’t we ask them? You know where they are? I think so. I can feel it. The symbiote. I can feel them. Hear them. Like someone talking in the next room. I think I can find them, with a little looking. Do we want to find them? They’re alive, Gedim. Beyond your feelings, we have zero concrete evidence of that. Whereas we have the world’s most valuable piece of technology now in our possession. I don’t like where this is going. And I hate it when you act like my feelings are nonsense. Hear me out. As of now, we have every right to this ship. It’s legitimate salvage. We could just take off. See if Torv’s drive works. Be back on Earth by — shit, we could be back on Earth tonight. Tonight, Joira. That’s nuts. I’m not leaving here. There was a time when you’d have stepped over a body for this kind of opportunity. That was a long time ago. That was six months ago. Subjectively speaking. Like I said. It’s here. Near here. Underwater, then. That feels right. Does the ship have a submersible? No. We’ll have to fab it. Of course it has to be another cave. Can’t we for once have a job on a mountain somewhere? You should find a planet with more mountains then. Exactly. Sending in the drone. I want to name him. Well, you already gendered him, apparently. Gonna call him Emile. Emile reports more tunnels. Unsurprising given our previous experience, I guess. Swiss cheese planet. Think you can navigate where we need to go? I think so. Taking over manual control. This is freaky. What are they? Not one thing. Lots of things. Giant arachnids … slugs … those cyborg centaur creatures … what’s the common factor? The common factor is that they’re all trapped in the fibers of the tunnel walls. Like the root system that entangled us. The symbiote. I’m starting to think this whole planet is alive. It is alive. That’s what I keep trying to tell you. I think all these are alive too. Suspended animation? Something like. But their consciousnesses interwoven, blended. Absorbed. Consumed. You always take the darkest view. What’s the bright side of being swallowed by a living planet? Godlike consciousness? If that’s the cost, no thank you. Bingo. That’s them. All six. Here’s Torv. I knew it. I told you I could feel them. Score one for feelings, sure. Now what? What do you mean? I thought you wanted to rescue them. No, you wanted to rescue them. I wanted to go home and enjoy a life of leisure. But my point is, the crew here are down about ten clicks of tunnels, the last three clearly made of the kind of roots that trapped us before. So how are we supposed to “rescue” these kind folks without becoming flies in blue amber ourselves? It doesn’t feel dangerous to me. Of course it doesn’t, Joira. It’s in you already. Don’t you see that something like this is probably how they ended up like this? One of them goes out and gets infected. One way or another, they spread the infection to the others, or they convince the others to take a vessel and descend into the caves here. Then Talend’s roots tear their sub apart and keep the juicy insides. Listen. I can keep us safe. I know it. I feel it the same way I felt our way here. Whatever happened to them, it’s not the same. Are you crazy? It won’t take long. Trust me. What are you doing? Relax. Stop it! Stop! Let me go. Absolutely not. You’re deranged. Why won’t you listen to me? We can still rescue those people. We’re going to get you back to the ship and get you in that pod. We’re curing you of this disease. That’s not your choice! This is a classic case of an alien symbiote taking over someone’s mind. Seen it a hundred times. What’s scary is that it must have infected Torv or someone on his crew too. I don’t like to think about this spreading. Fuck, I wonder if somehow he’d been to this place? All those aliens … maybe this is where he got the FTL drive from. If you do this, I’ll never speak to you again. And the first chance I get, I’ll come back here. You don’t know what you’re saying. You’re not you right now. I’m all the me I ever was. It’s just that you want me to stay this poor punk girl you rescued. But you never completely trusted me, and you don’t trust me now. You’re wrong. I did trust her then. You. Because a poor punk girl, I can understand. But the you talking now, planetary-symbiote you, how can I trust that? It’s like trusting a tree, or a rock, or a fucking virus. Maybe you should trust a tree. You should trust a virus. Not when they’re eating my girlfriend. Your ex-girlfriend, you mean. 9
MARK MOTHERSBAUGH FROM THE POSTCARD DIARIES, MYOPIA: MARK MOTHERSBAUGH
Step back into the 90s for one night Open bars, unlimited rides, immersive all-things-90s experiences Experience these and SO MUCH MORE at Lakeside Amusement Park! August 24, 2023 Like, totally get your tickets at DenverFilm.org
FOREIGN OBJECT By Zac Dunn There is a foreign object in my mouth It is called my tongue I am so glad that I don’t have a television set assfixxed firmly to my head Channeling the sinister spirit Like the buzz of 10,000 Roman plebeians Demanding the gore Welding mighty filthy muffins made of mud thicker than fudge with rocks As wilted flowers are laid down at the Feet of the YETI only to turn to dust Swinging the glorious taco cabana hammer once more Tenderizing the feels as the squeaky wheel screams like a banshee The creek in the cave had run dry again But the mighty Phoenix of discord spreads its dreadful wings and takes flight over the burning ruins of asinine archives Colder than the feet of the glacier as the plates drift effortlessly into the subduction zone rupturing the benign firmament as The beast lumbered into the clearing in mid-stride with haste And then paused briefly only to slip without a sound into the coniferous canopy Back into its hiding places The pungent musk left hanging in the mist nevermore circuitous Giant boulders flung from the tips of peaks utterly unreachable As the choir of singing from the bowels of the mountain lulled the elusive Sasquatch from its stand Severe shy eyes piercing the permafrost scanning frozen tundra for a mate who lays in wait bugging for squirming live bait The sherpas all abandoned there pitiful retainers due the fever pitch of nonstop complaining Ringing the dinner bell with the flasher holding a pistol who’s the worst smelling person ever who makes the most dry and soulless roasted Chicken that we all eat but promptly excuse ourselves to purge as it’s raw and unseasoned profanely prepared by a flawed clod of a man Vikkar Musso was a no-show The pig was quickly procured and dispatched to banish the oncoming Jinn So the YETI raised its mighty digits to the heavens As snowflakes subtly began to fall The abominable vision of the mighty elusive being drives my tongue to proclaim His glory in the kingdom of solace where He shall forever remain DEDICATED TO THE LIFE AND MEMORY OF OUR BROTHER TUWAYNE FOSTER AKA URL GRAVY VOX VERITATIS AETERNAE AXEL BUECKERT, ABOMINABLE
BY HANA ZITTEL Better Living Through Birding: Notes from a Black Man in the Natural World by Christian Cooper (2023) Christian Cooper starts and finishes his memoir with sections referring to significant life moments in Central Park. In the first, “An Incident in Central Park,” he guides us through the exhilarating experience of being able to observe a Kirtland Warbler, recorded for the first time ever in the park. The second incident in Central Park was one that was viewed all over the world. A white woman intentionally weaponizing her race and gender, threatening Cooper with the police after he asked her to leash her dog. Posted on social media soon after by his sister, Cooper knew that she was moved to share the event because she “was understandably outraged. Any Black relative would be; considering the long history of reckless police enforcement against Black bodies, it was all too easy for her to envision the worst-case scenario of what might have happened to her brother.” Though Cooper discusses this incident, its life-changing impact and global implications, his memoir does not focus its lens on this moment. Filled with joy and growth, Cooper takes us through the beauty and adventure of birdwatching and how birding has woven its way into his life starting from his very first spotting of his “spark bird,” the Red-Winged Blackbird. He details his time at Harvard, being able to come out to his roommates, travels around the world falling in love, and his time in the comic book industry creating groundbreaking works highlighting queer and diverse characters. He injects birding tips in each section, bringing to the forefront how vital nature is in our lives. Cooper’s love of birds radiates from his writing, emanating the unique magic that absorbs so many into the intoxicating practice of birding. Brave the Wild River: The Untold Story of Two Women Who Mapped the Botany of the Grand Canyon by Melissa J. Sevigny (2023) When Elzada Clover and Lois Jotter began planning their 1938 journey down the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon, only one other woman had been documented as attempting the route before. A decade earlier, Bessie Hyde and her husband Glen disappeared during their venture and were presumed dead, despite their boat being found fully intact. As a botany instructor at the University of Michigan, Clover completed her doctoral thesis on the plants of the Lower Rio Grande Valley and her interest shifted to the dream of documenting the vegetation of the Grand Canyon. To make this trip a reality, Clover enlisted a local river runner, Norman Nevills, whose previous experience only consisted of running the San Juan. Two men were selected by Norman to join the team in addition to Clover’s picks, Euguene Atkinson, a student, and Lois Jotter, a botany teaching assistant. The lead up to this trek was marred by sexist views and insistence that the Grand Canyon was no place for a woman. Despite a doubtful press and public, the crew persisted with Clover’s dedication to the science of botany keeping the mission on target. Together, in the summer of 1938, in three wooden boats full of supplies, most importantly, supplies for documenting this previously uncataloged vegetation, Clover and Jotter set out to become the first two women recorded to have completed the journey down the Grand Canyon. Melissa J. Sevigny’s coverage of this 43-day expedition illuminates another, lesserknown contribution of women to science. Botanical science and its popularity as a recreational pastime for women in the early 19th century resulted in the proliferation of the profession as an acceptable academic career for women when most fields were not, leading to the groundbreaking work done by Clover and Jotter on that river exploration. Sevigny’s coverage also details indigenous and natural histories of this land creating a wider view of Grand Canyon history. The compilation of detailed diaries and letters from the adventurers with natural history makes Brave the Wild River a beautiful and thrilling ride through one of the most treacherous journeys at the time. No. 116
ROB GINSBERG (D.A.S.A.), THE DEVOLVED JAWS - ROBGINSBERG.COM
AN INTERVIEW WITH PART 2 BY JONNY DESTEFANO & KRYSTI JOMÉI PHOTOS BY CORINNE MERRELL ART BY KID KOALA Iconic turntablist Kid Koala is a polymathic talent who transforms his life experience into art that connects people across the globe. His newest project, Creatures of the Late Afternoon, is a 2-LP record/full-on board game created in the midst of the pandemic. The album’s 20 tracks along with a hand-painted game gatefold cover and 150 cut-outable pieces is straight up groovy. But even more, Creatures serves as a reminder that even in the throes of it all, we’re in this together. We just need to tune in. We had the honor to chat with Kid Koala while he was in Montreal in between board game events. This is part 2 of our conversation, continued from Issue 115: Kid Koala: If you think about it like a stovetop. There’s always three or four things cooking here at our workshop and in our studio. Which burner we focus on just depends on what the deadlines are mostly. But then at the same time, you know what you’re genuinely just inspired to work on at the moment. Krysti Joméi: I love that. As artists, especially when creativity is your full-time job, it’s so easy to get stuck in the perfection loop. When you’re in that state of flow, that’s when it’s really meant to be. And that affects other aspects of your life because we’re not just creatives, we’re humans. We have mental struggles, emotions. I love the Emotion cards for the board game. We’re emotional creatures! Kid Koala: Yeah! What’s a track without emotion? I’ve even heard 808 tracks that have emotion. You need it. Otherwise, it’s not worth listening to in my opinion. It doesn’t matter what music you make. If I can feel that human spirit behind it — it could be how intricately the drums are programmed or how much detail or choices the human made behind it — that’s what I’m responding to, what I’m searching for. Any kind of music or film, I don’t have to get it. I don’t have to be like, oh, that’s my bag. But if I can understand the passion that went into it and the focus that went into it … I think that’s the challenge too. Sometimes you just try to find that ability to enjoy a work. Jonny DeStefano: I was looking at the backside of one of the new record No. 116 sleeves and it shows your catalog. When you began to now you haven’t lost the soul or the style. Some artists, they kind of fade away, but you just keep on delivering the goods. Obviously, that’s not easy. But you just keep on going masterfully. Like Beethoven or Mothersbaugh. Kid Koala: Thank you. I appreciate the positivity. People talk about authenticity or about all these things with what’s important to their art and I think for me, it’s just really letting life help you. I don’t fight where I am or how things are going. Let’s say, this hasn’t happened, but for example, I made a real super summer banger dance record and it just rocketed up the charts. I have no problem totally pulling the umbilical on that once winter comes around, make the opposite of that record. Not because business-wise that makes any sense, but because life-wise it makes sense. It’s more natural to me to just connect to whatever my actual experience is. They say write what you know or write where you are. And this is where I am, in Montreal. You couldn’t get me to make anything over 80 BPM in the winter. It feels like you’re faking it. It’s so cold. There’s no birds chirping, they all flew south. People drive slower. Even the traffic noise is more muffled because there’s 4-foot snowbanks everywhere. You know how it is, right? I’m not saying that people have to live here to understand the records that I make in the winter. I’m just saying I actually feel there’s an energy that’s not here in the summer, that if I’m really tuned in then it will be the best use of my studio time in that season. Similarly, in the summer, I’m the opposite. I’m just trying to rock beats and scratch fast. I’ve never had a problem with just trying to be that. I guess underneath it all I don’t think of it as business or strategy moves, I just think about it as tapping into what’s around me and responding to it through the tools that I have and I guess that’s sort of a freedom that is very important to me. And I’ve turned left so many times. Some people have followed me for 20 years and other people are like, what? I don’t get it, I’m out. But it’s one of those things where I’m not really thinking about it in terms of a brand or anything. Essentially I want to do stuff that feels playful for me because that’s enjoyable. I always
say if you’re not laughing every five minutes in rehearsals we’re doing something wrong. It’s not like everything just has to be haha jokes, but you need to be enjoying the process for the most part so that you don’t notice the time or you don’t beat yourself up over how much time you spend on something. If I look at Creatures, I don’t even want to clock the hours on how long it took to paint and record everything. I might get depressed at that point, but it’s not about that. At the end, it was just what happened. That’s how I spent three years. And now what it does is it allows doors to open to have these new experiences, like a board game event, which wasn’t possible for me prior to that. And then the loop closes when people show up and I see them just laughing and having their Staring Contests and hearing them cheer and clap for each other in the game. That’s enough for me. It made it all worthwhile, man. Bringing people together and giving a space for them to enjoy each other’s company and have some sort of thing to do to connect. Jonny: You’re a good force for the world. You’re using your talents and rolling with the punches, and trying to keep things fun, while dealing with life. Kid Koala: Art, for most artists I know, is like a therapy thing more than anything else. If I look at Space Cadet as a book, at the time I was going through a massive existential crisis, but not in a way that you would read into it explicitly in the book. We just lost a few members of our family, my grandma. And my daughter was actually on her way. That was like this duality. I was in between generations thinking about that. I was like how do you get that out? Well, it’s probably not a scratch turntable record I’m going to make. There was the book and then the score was right after Maple arrived. Her crib was right next to my piano and I didn’t want to wake her up. I remember just playing, sometimes I’d hold her in one hand, picking out notes or writing chord cycles with the other hand. They were all lullabies for her really. And that ended up being the score for the Space Cadet graphic novel, which people to this day have said, I used to play that for my child to help them go to sleep. And I’m like, that makes sense because I wrote a lot of that with a sleeping child right next to me. Even when it came to do the turntable parts I had headphones on because I didn’t want to wake her. I put little rubber stoppers on my faders so it wouldn’t make that snap-click metal-on-metal sound. That’s an example of how life actually ended up affecting what I was making. And then embracing that fully when it came time to develop the show. I was like well, I made the whole record on headphones, let’s put the whole audience in headphones. Let’s make it comfortable. And we had inflatable space pods for everybody, and they’re just chilling, listening kind of in their own crib. And it was an experiment, but it worked. So I’m not afraid of where it’ll go, even if it doesn’t, even if it’s confusing at first. I always feel like a couple years down the line it starts to reveal why it had to be that way. The rest of the time, I’m just trying to read the roadmap and be like, yes, this is what it had to be. I wasn’t going to wake the baby. I wasn’t going to stop doing music or stop drawing. I just let it become a part of it. Jonny: Like we were talking about with the game earlier, we love that how to make a Song, you kind of have to meet these requirements, which could be a heart break. You can’t get access to the genre if you don’t feel the pain. Tell us a little bit about how you thought about the game with all that. Kid Koala: Really, it’s kind of semi-autobiographical in terms of just my experience in the music industry. I wouldn’t say these are allencompassing industry truths or anything, but I actually feel that there’s certain stars that need to align and time and energy, especially when you’re dealing with bands. For everybody to even just get in a room and rehearse is an effort. I think with regards to what you’re talking about, there’s a deck called Life Experience cards and those you receive usually when you land on these kind of whammy spaces where some sort of hiccup happens along the way. Most of these have actually happened. Like there’s a Noise Ordinance space so you lose your Drummer, but then you gain Life Experience. I remember playing at a few festivals with these strict decibel ratings. It got to the point where, oh, well this is enough for a piano concert, but we have a whole band up here, so I don’t know what we’re going to play. Or we just turn the PA off and do acoustic. So all of those things that might happen along the way, like your touring van gets 19
"1000 TOWNS" flat tire, we’ve had that happen. So you miss your gig, but then you gain life experience. You have a story to tell about it. So I’m trying to keep my eye not just mainly focused on the cloud, but actually the silver lining around it. Some things are out of your control, but then you’re going to gain life experience out of those things and that might inspire your next tune: your Breakup Song, your Workout Song, your Dance Song, Anthem, whatever it is. My favorite stories from tour are always the worst gigs. The best gigs I love, don’t get me wrong, but the funniest stories always come from the worst-case. I remember this one time I was playing and the sound person didn’t speak English. It was in Italy and it was at this arts festival, and he saw that I was a DJ and thought I was just going to play disco dance stuff, but I was actually doing more routines. I had a booth and there’s a smoke machine and strobe lights. Two things that scratch DJs can’t stand. So I get on, I start chopping up two beats and then he’s blasting the smoke machine into the booth. Like, literally, I couldn’t see a foot in front of my face. And I said, please turn off the smoke machine. And he’s like, what? More smoke machine? No! Please, no. I just need the light to be static. And he’s like, what, more light? My eyes start getting drier and drier. And then the next thing you know, my contact lens had dried out and had folded on the bottom part of my eyelid, and I was like, okay I really can’t see right now, but I’m in the middle of a routine. I’m just going to grab this contact and put it back in somehow discreetly. So I grab the contact, and it falls off of my finger, and it lands on the record that I’m playing. Then my contact lens is going around on the turntable, and it’s sort of close to the left of the needle, so it means the needle will eventually hit this contact lens and make a horrible loud noise. So then I’m trying to pick at it every time it goes around but I’m missing, and I’m catching air because there’s all this smoke. I have no depth perception because I only have one contact in. And then he’s hitting the strobe lights. So then you can see my contact just appearing and it’s there! No, it’s there! And it’s one of those moments where I’m like, oh, my god please make this stop. (laughing) It was literally the worst gig. Technically, maybe not the worst, but it was one of those perfect examples. Such a bad time for me as a performer. But then I recounted, and it’s a pretty rich story. All the things that have to fall apart in that moment at the same time makes it really funny to me. So I think just having a sense of humor is very important in this game because, let’s face it. The music industry, and as is indie publishing, is precarious and so people who choose to do it just have that grit. And if you have that grit, then you’ll finish your song and you’ll get it out there. But ah, the adventures and the BS along the way is almost like part and No. 116 parcel of it. Jonny: Your sense of humor, the fun that you have comes out in the game. I mean, sure, you have your heartfelt stuff, obviously. But your sense of fun too is really palpable with everything you do. Kid Koala: It makes the heavier stuff much more bearable. When I look at an album like Music To Draw To: Satellite, lyrically, it was inspired by a lot of things going through my head. But mainly, it was me processing my cousin’s suicide. I didn’t want to just make a record detailing what happened or being very explicit about it. It was just one way of me having to process that in a way that felt comfortable. And it did help because I was able to bring Emilíana [Torrini] on board. We were talking about this Mars mission at the time, when they were recruiting people to go to Mars and the caveat being you can’t come back, which I thought was essentially almost like, not a suicide mission, but you’re basically leaving everything behind forever. So that’s quite interesting in terms of the idea of the people that are choosing to do that. We kind of used that as the gateway concept to write through these characters, to speak to the idea of somebody who wants to leave everything behind. And it really helped. It really was healing for me because, first of all, her voice is just such a comforting voice of an angel to begin with. But the idea of: I’m not over it, but it’s a thing where with given the tools that you have and the time that you have, can you iterate it somehow to just get things off your chest? And I knew it was, from a stylistic standpoint, totally left field. Wait aren’t you the scratch kid from Deltron? What are you doing? But making this ambient record is the record I had to make that. Otherwise, I wasn’t going to be able to go on and understand anything. But even in that process if I think back to those sessions, Emilíana and I had a wonderful time together, just hanging out and laughing. But then when we made the music, it was just what came together, and I’m so thankful for that opportunity. Again, I didn’t really know while it was happening. I was just following that muse or that urgency, that weight that I have to do something to process this, and I need to just do it through music. That’s how I’ll normally try to get stuff out, as I have to. But it wasn’t until we were out touring it that I realized the impact that it had on some people. They were telling me, I’ve been listening to you since Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, but this album, and they’re holding up Satellite, and they share some stories. At that point, I was like, okay, this is why that had to happen. I just try to be a conduit somehow, like trying to put it into some form that some people can connect to. And it happens to this day. Even when we do the [Satellite] Turntable Orchestra shows, there are people coming up to me after the shows and
sharing their stories, similar situations, and I feel like it was time well spent. But again, it was life. It’s not pretty. But regardless, I think with my time here my job isn’t really to just put ugly stuff in the world. I don’t think I’m very good at that. I’m just trying to find a beautiful way to put it out there. You can be talking about the darkest things, but underneath it all that connectivity is still beautiful. Time, space, generation, family. Literally, we brought the show all over the world, and I’m hearing the same story everywhere. So I’m like this is not just unique to me, it’s happening on some kind of universal level. And I think that’s always a beautiful thing to focus on, how it connects. Krysti: That’s the beauty of being vulnerable and sharing your art. If you kept your story to yourself there’d be people out there who maybe wouldn’t heal or move on or grow or find their own life path. I got that immediately from this current record and the game and all the work that you’re doing. And it seems like it’s becoming more and more apparent as you go on in your career. You definitely exude bravery and love, even though I heard something where you say you’re an introvert … Kid Koala: Functional introvert. (laughs) Jonny: Well it’s been an incredible honor to talk to you. Krysti: We made it 10 years with Birdy, and you’re part of it. Thanks so much. It’s really uplifting talking to you, it keeps our fire stoked. Kid Koala: Keep doing it, honestly. I put you guys up there with Grand Royal, and you’re still doing it! Even the Beasties are tapped out. What you guys are doing, it’s important. Jonny: Thank you so much. That’s such a compliment. We love Grand Royal. I remember Lee Scratch Perry on the front cover as a tribute to Wheaties [Cereal] and Bruce Lee battling Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Kid Koala: That’s what I mean. They just wanted to write about stuff they wanted to write about. They exposed a lot of people to stuff that wouldn’t have been on their radar otherwise. Sharing stuff that you’re passionate about, especially in art. Jonny: Yeah, some people say print is dead. And we’re like, no. Obviously we’ve got to interact with technology. But to us, just like vinyl, magazines still matter. As long as we’re tactile creatures on this planet. And we know we have to keep fighting to keep it going. Kid Koala: That it exists is an act of rebellion. And a good one. Just the consistency of it. A lot of the stuff I do even takes decades before people 21 really understand it. But you don’t stop. You just have to keep doing it, and like you said, focus on that and doing your best work with what you have and in my experience, it always does lead to opening new doors and new adventures. Keep doing it. Krysti: Thanks again, Eric. This has been so much fun. Kid Koala: For sure. Alright, take care. Huddle up. It sounds like quite the storm over there. It’s a good excuse to do some art. CREATURES OF THE LATE AFTERNOON IS AVAILABLE AT KIDKOALA.COM 2023 TOUR INFO & TICKETS: KIDKOALA.COM/TOUR FRI, SEPT. 8TH — FIDDLER’S GREEN AMPHITHEATER: KID KOALA X LEALANI W/ WU-TANG CLAN, RUN THE JEWELS & DELTRON 3030 SAT, SEPT. 9TH — DILLION AMPHITHEATER: KID KOALA X LEALANI W/ WUTANG CLAN & DELTRON 3030 FOLLOW KID KOALA ON: IG | FB | TWITTER | YOUTUBE | PATREON FOR PART 1 OF THIS INTERVIEW / TO SNAG ISSUE 115: BIRDYMAGAZINE.COM KID KOALA X LEALANI "JUMP & SHUFFLE"
NICK FLOOK, CELESTIAL TRAILS - @FLOOKO
Meow Wolf’s Encyclopedia of Weird Wellness From cupping to karaoke to goat yoga, here are some strange ways to achieve mind, body and soul satisfaction. by Erin Barnes | art by Chris Gipple Wellness can come in many forms: a cathartic late night karaoke session, a lifelong spiritual practice, or a simple moment of feeling the summer night air on your face while driving with the windows rolled down. The Global Wellness Institute says that wellness is the individual pursuit of holistic health: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social and environmental health. Wellness is not a passive activity — it’s a proactive pursuit, and an individual act of intentionality. Detractors say that the concept of wellness places too much responsibility on each individual to single-handedly balance these tenets while simultaneously earning a living, caring for family members, and contributing to a society that doesn’t provide that much in the way of help in these areas. Some think it’s empowering the individual rather than relying on organized systems like healthcare and the government. The word can evoke toxic fads, diet culture, celebrity trends and downright appropriative movements that whitewash traditions from other cultures. Wherever you stand on the concept of wellness, the truth is that we all need help. The pandemic was a collective mental health crisis, and it created a butterfly effect of stressful situations (job loss, grief, sick loved ones) that made returning to “normal” more difficult. The good news is that there are so many compelling new ways to heal the world that are as idiosyncratic as the people in it. And if we share that information, collective healing can take on a butterfly effect. We present to you the Meow Wolf Encyclopedia of Weird Wellness. We asked community members and Meow Wolf employees, “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done for wellness?” We wanted to look outside of the box. We strongly urge you to do your own research before embarking on your wellness journey, as some of these practices haven’t been studied at length, and we recommend working with a certified expert in each realm. Most importantly, we urge you to ask your friends, family and colleagues, “What’s floating your isolation tank these days?” Let’s look at what’s working for some:
The Simplicity of Everyday Nothing Therapy is a term we just invented for a wellness tactic that was shared with us by one of our employees: doing nothing. Banishing your phone, taking social media breaks, playing hooky. Take your Nothing Therapy to the next level and go on a hiatus or sabbatical from work, if you’re lucky enough to do so. Speaking of abstaining, some members of our informal wellness study had wonderful things to say about going on a silent retreat because it taught them about the intentionality of words. Many also mentioned fasting and intermittent fasting, to take Nothing Therapy to the culinary realm. People have practiced this abstinence of eating (usually for 24-72 hours) for centuries, and even weave it into their spiritual practices. Science says that fasting might be good for weight loss, boosting brain function, enhancing heart health, fighting inflammation and promoting blood sugar control. Is nothing too hard for you to do, Busybody McGee? There are plenty of other therapeutic activities that are available in everyday life. Cold plunges are the newest trend in wellness and purport the benefits of freezing temperatures including a rush of endorphins, decreasing inflammation, spiking dopamine and reducing stress. If you don’t have a freezing lake to jump into, try turning your shower freezing cold for 10 seconds at a time and working your way up. Some even use cryotherapy in their facials or as a whole body experience, subjecting their bodies to freezing temperatures from 3-5 minutes — anything longer can be fatal. Coloradoans can also experience a safer, more natural therapeutic combination of hot and cold by visiting hot springs in the winter. Walking barefoot in the mud, getting your hands dirty in the garden, or other ordinary sensory delights run the gamut, from cuddle puddles with your loved ones to baking. Speaking of which, The Great British Bake-Off was mentioned as an antidote to depression, and we couldn’t agree more. Something about this wholesome, creative, sweet and gentle competition in the gorgeous countryside makes us feel better about the world. At home, you can download wellness apps, watch baby animal videos on the internet, or fall asleep to ASMR videos (autonomous sensory meridian response). Whether or not you experience ASMR tingles — the warm shivers that some feel when experiencing something relaxing — ASMR videos can be relaxing for all types of people. Or weird. Or both. For those looking for something active in our everyday lives, try roller skating at Skate City, roller coasters (check out Kaleidoscape at Elitch Gardens!), cathartic karaoke sessions, forest bathing, walking for miles and miles, taking up a hobby (like curling!) where you’re not only using your mind and body, you’re becoming part of a social community. One of the most interesting everyday therapies offered up to us was suffering. After doing something intensely hard, there is a feeling of peace afterwards. The popularity of CrossFit makes us think that this theory checks out — or, try volunteering in a community garden. Your hard work will give you a sense of peace and help your community at the same time. The Sweetness of Sound Sound bath healing might sound like something you need to join a commune to experience, but you can find the top 10 places to experience a sound bath on Yelp. Sound bath practitioners might use tuning forks, crystal bowls or gongs to create an immersive listening experience that is said to slow down your brain waves and put you in a dreamlike state. Audio vibrational therapy has participants lying on a crystal mat while the practitioner rings tuning forks at different “high energy” spots over the body. Audio aficionados can even take a pilgrimage to the Integraton in 29 Palms near Joshua Tree. Their website boasts a fusion of art, science and magic as they offer 35 minutes of 20 quartz bowls in a giant dome structure. If you can’t make it to Joshua Tree, try searching for music at home that has solfeggio frequencies: 9 electromagnetic tones that are said to have healing power and have been found in ancient sacred music — like Gregorian chant — as early as the 8th century. This is just one of many forms of sound people believe to be healing — some praise the merits of “green sound.” Denverites can check out an ITCHY-O concert for a noise bath, which they describe on their website as “a combination of audio, visual and spiritual submersion, transporting you to a higher level of inner space via meditative practice.” Dance parties can also be an immersive way to bathe your senses in sound while releasing tension, finding community and getting a workout — in Denver, consider Lipgloss, goth nights, Weird Touch, Beacon Denver, Mile High Soul Club, or Scorpio Palace. Forest bathing (i.e. a natural hike in the forest) can be a form of sound healing, because according to Sensory Integration used by occupational therapists, sound coming from different points (think birds chirping all around you) is grounding to the nervous system because it reminds your mind and body where you are in space. Last but not least, might we suggest a walk through our swamp world at Convergence Station, Numina? The sound in Numina was designed to give the feel of something botanical and lush, but not from this world. Altered States of Consciousness What do isolation tanks, breathwork, psychedelics and immersive art have in common? They’re all ways that people access altered states of consciousness. Sensory deprivation tanks are an incredibly popular way to experience a different state of being without drugs. Participants float in a tank where external stimuli is removed as much as possible. Floating without light and sound has the effect of making one feel like they’ve left their body behind. It can have myriad effects: it can be relaxing, cause participants to go on a mental journey, or even feel like a time warp. After LSD was outlawed in the 60s, psychologists developed a practice called Holotropic Breathwork as a way to access psychedelic states without psychedelic drugs. Participants go through certified practitioners to learn how to breathe rapidly so that a form of hyperventilation causes a dreamlike state. Just because something is natural doesn’t mean that it’s risk-free; Verywell Mind says that while it can be a therapeutic tool, it can come with risks, so do your research beforehand to see if you’re one of the people who should avoid it. For a totally safe, accessible, drug-free and natural way to achieve a state of transformation, we recommend immersive art. Meow Wolf exhibitions offer the chance for escape from everyday banality, adventure, and a way to get lost in your senses. Scientists are interested in the psychology of awe; research says that experiences that include awe are “self-transcendent: they shift our attention away
from ourselves, make us feel like we are part of something greater than ourselves, change our perception of time, and even make us more generous toward others.” Beatific Bodywork Cupping was possibly the most-mentioned alternative therapy in our informal wellness study. In this form of therapy, deriving from traditional Chinese medicine, the practitioner places cups on the participant’s back that act like a suction, which is said to increase blood flow to that area. There is dry cupping, wet cupping and even fire cupping. Just be careful to research the safety and efficacy before you embark, especially when embarking on wet cupping, which pierces the skin. True devotees believe that “qi,” or life energy, is at play in the healing modality of cupping; but even those who were non-believers swear by cupping’s ability to relieve pain, stress, inflammation and a host of health issues. Places that offer cupping are often acupuncturists and alternative health clinics. Everyone should be familiar with the benefits of massage, but what about some other forms of bodywork? Here are a few: Lymphatic draining massage was recommended by our wellness study participants, which focuses on stimulating lymph nodes in an effort to detox. Tibetan cranial therapy was developed 3,000 years ago in the Himalayas. During a Tibetan cranial session, the practitioner will kneel at the head of a patient who is lying down fully clothed, sensing natural “pulses” in the cranium and body and making adjustments using pressure on the head and neck in complete silence. It’s bodywork meets energy work. Watsu was developed in 1980 when Harold Dull, a practitioner of Zen Shiatsu (the Japanese method of acupressure), noticed that his patients relaxed more in warm water. Thus, Watsu (a fusion of the words “water” and “shiatsu”) was born. Also called hydrotherapy, Watsu involves stretching, massage and acupressure in warm water. Surely you’ve heard of yoga, but how about adding some baby goats into the mix? Rocky Mountain Goat Yoga combines the wellness benefits of doing yoga in a beautiful outdoor setting with the absurdity and cuteness of goats. What’s not to love? Bahhhh. Rewiring the Brain EMDR therapy is a highly successful form of therapy that’s been recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, the World Health Organization and the U.S. Department of Defense for its ability to treat PTSD and harmful memories. EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) uses a system that involves eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation (between the two sides of the brain) to target distressing memories and help the patient feel stronger about the experience. Hypnosis can also be used with a certified practitioner to address insomnia, anxiety and quitting smoking. Sensory integration therapy was developed by an occupational therapist to treat children with sensory processing difficulties; children with behavioral issues and anxiety can be treated by swinging, squeezing, pushing and pulling. Accessing these parts of the brain, which were engaged more often when our lives were more active, can be grounding to the nervous system. Shadow work is more of an emotional rewiring of the brain. It involves uncovering the parts of your psyche that have been repressed — because of trauma, or because you consider these parts to be undesirable — and accepting them. Everyone has been taught that certain behaviors and modalities are acceptable or not acceptable in society; therefore, everyone has a public face that they use to engage with loved ones, friends and the larger community. Embracing the parts of us that are in the shadows can improve self esteem, creativity, relationships, compassion, clarity and more. Consider seeking out a licensed therapist who specializes in shadow work. Sensational Spirituality + Non-Spiritual Churches Imagine an energetic realm that is a library of all of the universe’s events past, present and future. This is the Akashic Records, which catalogs “everything in existence since the dawn of time” (Central European Journal for Contemporary Religion). Anyone can find an Akashic Records reader to learn about their own soul journey, which spans multiple lifetimes. “When I access your Akashic Records, I’m speaking directly to your master, teachers and loved ones,” Krista Rauschenberg, a certified Akashic Records reader, told Well+Good. “Your masters are a body of energy that have been with you since the inception of your soul, so you have access to past lives, [the] present and future possibilities.” At this point, we’re all aware that spiritual practices can be a vital way to feel more connected with humanity, the world and even a greater power. But let’s look at some newer spiritual trends. The occult has gained popularity over the past decade thanks to a resurgence of witchcraft, Tarot, astrology and more. Modern Wicca, Witchcraft, or Paganism is about tuning into the rhythms of nature with celebrations that honor the changing of the seasons, and ritualistically finding ways for humans to fit into that greater rhythm. Rituals and spells can be a way to use intentionality to achieve goals, regardless of your belief in magic. Just visiting Ritualcravt in Denver, which sells metaphysical and witchy wares, is a healing experience. Ritualcravt also teaches workshops and offers sessions with their own list of healers. Do you want the benefits of spirituality but have this pesky trouble with … belief? Maybe non-spiritual communities can help! Secular Hub is part of the American Humanist Association (AHA) and a place for atheists to find community, altruism and fellowship in a nonreligious forum. Warm Cookies of the Revolution is like a church where instead of exercising your spiritual side, you flex your civic muscles. Warm Cookies offers community talks and events that range from Civic Stitch ‘n Bitch, which merges civic issues with crafting, and Stupid Civic Questions, where participants can ask important questions such as “Where does my poop go?” all with a side of humor. Conclusion Well, it’s been a journey just learning more about wellness journeys. Whether any of these unconventional wellness practices resonate with you or not, these are just the tip of the cryotherapy iceberg; there is something for everyone who wants to feel better. Go forth and be well! GET TICKETS TO MEOW WOLF’S CONVERGENCE STATION IN DENVER, CO; HOUSE OF ETERNAL RETURN IN SANTA FE, NM; OMEGA MART IN LAS VEGAS, NV; & THE REAL UNREAL IN GRAPEVINE, TX: MEOWWOLF.COM/VISIT
lifeboats or swam to shore, dragging their ice-encased bodies to the lighthouse. Many died once they got there. For days, the dead washed up, the island overrun with frozen bodies. But something moved in the window. A shadow? Sadie tried to look away, retain her nature-gaze. She couldn’t stop herself from standing, moving toward the bluff, through the high grasses and weeds surrounding the solemn structure. Despite the blue sky, the 80 degrees of sunshine, the building radiated cold. Blinded, Sadie entered the darkness inside the open lighthouse. Almost immediately, a sound came, a rustle. Her breath quickened. “Is there someone here?” she called into the emptiness. “Only me,” a weak voice whispered. “Only who?” Sadie whispered back. “Iris.” A girl emerged, younger and smaller-looking than Sadie, with pale skin, long stringy hair and dark nondescript clothes “You have such beautiful hair,” Iris said, causing Sadie to touch what she thought was a tangled wad of dirty blonde. “What are you doing here?” Sadie asked. “I’m waiting for my mother, Vera Sanders,” the strange girl said. “Do you know her?” Sadie did not. “Where is your mother?” Iris asked. Sadie started to feel like she was going to choke. “She died. ” “How?” “Cancer.” She had grown used to telling people, telling herself. Iris repeated the word cancer softly. “You look like you could use a hot meal.” “I’m not hungry anymore. I have been waiting for my mother for so very long. Would your grandmother know about her?” “Why would my grandmother know?” “My mother and I were passengers on the sunken steamer, the Larchmont. Do you know about it?” Sadie backed, step by step, out of the lighthouse. Iris grew smaller and smaller. Sadie stopped believing in things a long time ago, after she prayed Sadie had grown accustomed to small pleasures, short respites from grief. Waking each day at the first shafts of light through the window, she needed to rise and move, riding her bike along the Cornneck Road, the ocean over one shoulder, the breeze in her face. She pushed her pedals all the way to the end, to the stretch of beach leading up to the North Lighthouse. There, she’d perch on a rock and survey the many stacks of stones worn smooth by the sea, totems erected by tourists and other visitors to this place. She watched and listened to the seagulls above, the ferries and cargo ships crossing in the distance, the seals poking their little black noses out of the choppy waves. This was about as much peace as she could get. She didn’t normally want to get close to the lighthouse, avoiding its forlorn windows, blinkless eye. She didn’t want to imagine what it had seen and heard, all that death, the screams of distress and panic. Her great great grandmother, Sybil, had witnessed the Larchmont disaster with her own two eyes. The steamship, headed from Providence to New York, facing icy winds and large waves, hit a schooner and sunk, killing almost 150 people. Some 40 or so passengers made it to the beach on No. 116 her mother’s cancer would stay in remission, and it came back anyway, after she prayed the treatment would keep the cancer from spreading further, and it spread anyway, and after she prayed that the keeping of her mother alive as long as possible would be enough, and it wasn’t. The memory of her father telling her still played out in her mind. He sat on the side of her bed and said the words she didn’t want to hear. He said them into the darkness, with his solid, usually comforting hand on her heaving back. He said them into the completely-devoid-ofMom house, the same house that had been so full of her, the house that stood in the background of all the photos of Sadie growing from baby to teenager. Dad confessed that day he didn’t want to go back to his accounting job. He didn’t want to live in their old house where the memories of Mom’s illness were so powerful. He wanted to take a break, he wanted to go home, he said, to Mom’s home, to Block Island. Sadie’s grandmother, Addy, believed in memory, in keeping the dead close, in the circle of life. She taught Sadie how to talk to her mother, ART BY JASON WHITE
how to honor her by keeping her as a part of their lives. They went to the Old Burial Ground every week to put new flowers by the grave, tell stories, laugh and cry. This week, goldenrod. Sadie and Addy cut the fuzzy yellow stems out at Rodman’s Hollow, gathering them in mason jars in the kitchen. They lugged boxes full of flowers out of the mud-splattered Jeep, up the hill to the small gravestone. Sadie knelt, snipped grass, lifted and placed the 10 jars from their boxes. After everything looked right, they stood, talking quietly, Addy’s arm around Sadie’s shoulder. Something moved in Sadie’s peripheral vision. Iris, looking exactly the same as she had at the lighthouse, stood beside another grave. Her eyes locked on Addy. “Grandma, that is her, the girl at the lighthouse.” Sadie pointed a shaking finger. Addy mopped her forehead with an old bandana, her crystal eyes surveying the girl. “Do you want to see our flowers?” Sadie asked. Iris shook her sad head no. “Your parents have a summer place here?” Addy asked. A tinkling sound, like a wind chime, distracted Addy and Sadie, and when their minds came back to the cemetery, Iris had disappeared. Addy pushed the lighthouse door back with a bang. Sadie trailed behind her grandmother. They found Iris slouched, gazing out the window. “Can I touch you?” Addy asked. “You can try,” Iris said. Addy took the girl’s hand and held it. Iris smiled. “You’re so warm.” Addy pulled out a trove of pictures from her pack — articles about the wreck, bits and pieces she had collected from her attic and the historical society. “Very few of you survived. Your mother, Vera, was not among them, or, I’m afraid, you.” Addy studied the girl. “What do you remember?” Iris told them how they stood on the deck, clinging to one another, how the water rose up. Then it was cold, so cold, and she found herself here, at the lighthouse, all alone. No one saw her for very long. She kept quiet, watching for her mother, until Sadie. “I couldn’t hear my mother’s voice again until I accepted she was gone,” Sadie said. Iris seemed to consider this, eyebrows raised. “Let’s go out, put you to rest. You’ve waited here long enough.” Addy moved hastily into the light. Outside, they circled bits of seaglass and shells around Iris, who stood looking small and scared and especially dark clothed and pale skinned out in the late day sun. Iris held her arms out wide, looked up at the sky. The wind whipped her stringy hair. Her dark clothes fluttered. Then, she vanished. Addy and Sadie stood facing each other on the beach, their own clothes flapping around them, their eyes locked together, dumbstruck. They trudged through the sand, leaving the circle of seaglass and shells behind them, knowing it would all be gone in a few hours, picked up by the tide, pulled back out to sea. 29
BY TOM MURPHY BROTHER SATURN – SILENCE YOUR HEART Drew Miller as Brother Saturn has long channeled processed guitar, loops and keyboard into the abstraction of ambient composition, teasing out complex and sometimes messy emotions into a form that both processes them and transforms that locked up psychological energy into transcendent forms of sound. On this album we journey in echoing fadeouts of tone through streams of hazy sparkling and rippling passages, as on “A Terraform,” into drifts of pulsing, sonic incandescence past and through slow cascading tangles of resonant feeling. The songs seem to express a way to let anxiety and trauma dissolve into the distant past, blurred out of significance and at best a faint memory. Each of the eight compositions is a testament to how these musical rituals are a process, but one that can be gentle rather than jarring. For fans of Stars of the Lid, The Dead Texan or Pan American. CALM. – ALL THE DREAMS I EVER HAD Written and recorded in a week, this concept album was created to be a single, long song like a modern version of a James Joyce novel mixed with a Carlos Castaneda-esque voyage into cultural mythical spaces and the musical mysticism of A Tribe Called Quest’s Midnight Marauders. Except this is a mature manifestation of alternative hiphop that comments on the current era when it seems our civilization’s various chickens have come to roost all at once, and the yearning to make meaning in a time of chaos, impending doom and rising fascism. It’s also a deep dive into the assessment of the life rapper Time aka Chris Steele has tried to live with honesty and integrity and connected with a larger societal narrative grounded in life in Denver. Steele has long been a gifted lyricist of incredible personal and sociological insight, but with this sprawling set of songs with AwareNess’s own endlessly inspired production, the duo as Calm. has far exceeded its already exceptional previous releases. Reconciling the project’s collective literary, musical and conceptual interests, this album is a truly poignant and important statement on American culture and its failure to dream in new ways, providing a valid pathway for collective achievements that nurture and benefit all. No. 116 EXTRA KOOL – GIALLO ARGENTO Danny Vincennie named this album in part after his favorite film director, Dario Argento, and the genre of horror cinema called giallo that he helped bring to its highest form. Vincennie as Extra Kool always seems to be able to distill the most painful feelings and lingering psychological agony into arresting musical form and fluidly forceful lyrics that work both as vivid storytelling and confessional emotional release. We hear menacing beats and the rapper’s inventive rhythms — solo and in collaboration with peers like Satyre and Time — as he revisits themes from across his career seemingly cast in the sonic sheen of horror movies which, for many fans, are a compelling artform that doesn’t try to sugarcoat and can encompass all other genres of film. Vincennie deftly employs that chameleonic quality in seven tracks that get under your skin with the honest and deeply real sentiments cast as cathartic experiences, moving forward with perhaps the pain and traumas we all know slightly lessened. MIDWIFE & VYVA MELINKOLYA - ORBWEAVING This collaborative album came about through a friendship between Madeline Johnston (Midwife) and Angel Diaz (Vyva Melinkolya) that formed in that strange year of 2020. A musical bond became more personal when the two musicians met in 2021 when Diaz came to do some recording in Johnston’s New Mexico studio. At night they went herping (a search for snakes and amphibians) along roads near Las Cruces. These journeys that yielded the discovery of rattlesnakes, roadkill and orb-weaver spiders also made it possible for the two artists to combine their mutual genius for evocative soundscaping. Together they crafted an interconnected body of music that articulates with a patient elegance of tone and texture the complexity and nuance of isolation and connection between people and the mystical beauty and horror of the world we all occupy and of which we are an inseparable part, honoring the transcendent fragility of existence. FOR MORE, VISIT QUEENCITYSOUNDSANDART.WORDPRESS.COM
DAVE DANZARA, MONEY : POWER : LIES : GREED - @LOSTINTIMEDESIGNS
CAITLYN GRABENSTEIN, SOLITUDE - @CULT.CLASS
1 Publizr