FOREIGN OBJECT By Zac Dunn There is a foreign object in my mouth It is called my tongue I am so glad that I don’t have a television set assfixxed firmly to my head Channeling the sinister spirit Like the buzz of 10,000 Roman plebeians Demanding the gore Welding mighty filthy muffins made of mud thicker than fudge with rocks As wilted flowers are laid down at the Feet of the YETI only to turn to dust Swinging the glorious taco cabana hammer once more Tenderizing the feels as the squeaky wheel screams like a banshee The creek in the cave had run dry again But the mighty Phoenix of discord spreads its dreadful wings and takes flight over the burning ruins of asinine archives Colder than the feet of the glacier as the plates drift effortlessly into the subduction zone rupturing the benign firmament as The beast lumbered into the clearing in mid-stride with haste And then paused briefly only to slip without a sound into the coniferous canopy Back into its hiding places The pungent musk left hanging in the mist nevermore circuitous Giant boulders flung from the tips of peaks utterly unreachable As the choir of singing from the bowels of the mountain lulled the elusive Sasquatch from its stand Severe shy eyes piercing the permafrost scanning frozen tundra for a mate who lays in wait bugging for squirming live bait The sherpas all abandoned there pitiful retainers due the fever pitch of nonstop complaining Ringing the dinner bell with the flasher holding a pistol who’s the worst smelling person ever who makes the most dry and soulless roasted Chicken that we all eat but promptly excuse ourselves to purge as it’s raw and unseasoned profanely prepared by a flawed clod of a man Vikkar Musso was a no-show The pig was quickly procured and dispatched to banish the oncoming Jinn So the YETI raised its mighty digits to the heavens As snowflakes subtly began to fall The abominable vision of the mighty elusive being drives my tongue to proclaim His glory in the kingdom of solace where He shall forever remain DEDICATED TO THE LIFE AND MEMORY OF OUR BROTHER TUWAYNE FOSTER AKA URL GRAVY VOX VERITATIS AETERNAE AXEL BUECKERT, ABOMINABLE
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