Too Much Grief By Alan Wolfelt, PhD Many funeral directors may be struggling to cope with their own grief overload For many funeral directors, COVID-19 has been a nonstop wrecking ball, decimating families and communities. And who’s in the midst of this crisis providing care to the hundreds of thousands of dead and their grieving people? The funeral home staff whose vocations have placed them squarely in the wrecking ball’s path. Your work has been extraordinarily difficult. You’ve been challenged with fatigue from physical labor and PPE protocols, along with work conditions that place your health, and that of your family, in jeopardy. Many have borne witness to a staggering amount of loss, perhaps more in a few months than they might otherwise have experienced in an entire year or more. If you feel you’ve been exposed to too much loss during the pandemic and find yourself struggling with your thoughts, feelings and ability to function day to day, this article can help direct you. Grief Overload Grief overload is what you feel when you experience too much loss all at once or in a relatively short period. Funeral directors understand and accept that death is a natural part of life. You are well equipped and trained to handle loss situations. But when you’re forced to care for an unusually high number of families, some in desperate circumstances, you naturally will feel heightened stress, anxiety, fear, depression, hopelessness, physical unwellness and other symptoms. Grief overload simply means you’ve been exposed to more loss than anyone could reasonably take in stride. Even if you’ve coped well being surrounded by death and loss in the past, you may be finding that these losses are different. This time, you may feel helpless and hopeless. This time, you may feel like you’re struggling to survive. Secondary Trauma Secondary trauma occurs when you are exposed to others’ situations of traumatic loss. During the www.ogr.org | The Independent® 19
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