Grief COVID-19 COVID-19 pandemic, many funeral directors have suffered not only grief overload but also secondary trauma. These symptoms often overlap with post-traumatic stress symptoms and can include intrusive thoughts about what has happened, avoidance of triggers and feelings related to places or events, pervasive negative feelings and pronounced anxiety. The Way Forward The pandemic wrecking ball is leaving many grief-overloaded and traumatized funeral directors in its wake. If you’re one of them or know someone who may be, here are some guidelines for caring for your mental health in the weeks and months to come. Prioritize your own care You can’t be of much help to others if you’re not first taking care of yourself. If you’re struggling, it’s time to make yourself the top priority. Take a day or two or three off, if at all possible, to recuperate and get an assessment. Get an assessment See your primary care provider as well as a professional counselor. The goal is to create a plan to shore up your mental health and get you the intensive help you may need for a period of weeks or months to restore and rebalance. Look into company resources Many workplaces with front-line caregivers have protocols and mental health resources for trauma training, debriefing, reflective supervision, therapy and more. Does your funeral home? If not, now is the time to implement these essential measures. Discuss this need with your CEO, HR director or funeral home owner. Know what resources are available and how to access them. Take sick leave or FMLA to buy yourself downtime If you are emotionally unwell, both sick leave and family leave time can be used to give yourself an essential respite. What you may need most of all is some time 20 www.ogr.org | Fall 2020 Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., has been recognized as one of North America’s leading death educators and grief counselors. He away from COVID-19 losses and trauma. Again, talk to your supervisor to take advantage of the benefits you’ve earned. Focus on good basic self-care If you’ve been too busy or distracted to take good care of yourself, it’s time to make time. Now, more than ever, you need adequate high-quality sleep, regular exercise, a healthy diet and good hydration. Mindfulness practices such as meditation and yoga can also be transformative. Use your time away from work to embark on a selfcare makeover. Ask friends and family to help you with this new lifesaving focus. Throughout the crisis, we’ve been applauding last responders like you. We’ve been calling you heroes, thanking you and even dropping off food to help keep you sustained. Yet you and I know that claps and cookies are not enough. You deserve to be well cared for, including comprehensive mental health benefits and adequate time away from work so you can renew yourself and be able to return to work healthy and whole. is founder and director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and a longtime consultant to funeral service. Contact him at drwolfelt@ centerforloss.com. If you think you may be suffering from grief overload and/or secondary trauma, please reach out for support today.
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