This story was written and FATHER’S DAY: PERSPECTIVES ON FATHERHOOD Tears streamed down my face as I listened to the velvety-smooth voice of Luther Vandross as he beautifully delivered one of his best songs “Dance with My Father.” It was July, 2003 and the song had just been released in June. I could not stop crying as Luther crooned away on my CD player oblivious to the floodgate of emotions and tears that this musical piece had opened in my dimly-lit room far away in Lagos, Nigeria. The words of the song spoke to me like a sermon from the anointed lips of a consummate preacher speaking from a podium on a Sunday morning. You may be wondering why I would feel this way about a song, but this was not just a ‘song.’ It was a reflection from a man who had a relationship or bond with his father. From the lyrical content of this piece, one could tell that the father of the singer was greatly missed and had been loved immensely by the son. It is common place to hear songs about a mother or mothers, but there has been a limited body of musical compositions that discuss or explore the relationship between father and son. published in the June 2018 edition of The Urban Experience Magazine. We felt this was a fitting article to share with our readers as we celebrate Father’s Day 2021. It meant a lot to me in a significant way and for the reason that I had grown up without my father. Luther Vandross’ song made me realize what was missing in my growing up: the solid love, support and guidance of a father. In the course of my life, I have been blessed by fathers, men who influenced and impacted me in so many ways, yet I longed for that singular and biological paternal figure to look up to, make proud and be scolded by. I never had one. When my father died, I could not grieve for him as a son should. In the place of grief, I felt a debilitating bitterness and consuming anger. Anger for the missed conversations and questions that I never had the opportunity to ask my father. Today, I am father of two beautiful children and like many of the people I interviewed in this report, I am determined to be different from my father and to pour into my kids all that is good and wholesome and to spoil them with the love and affection that I never enjoyed as a child. The Miriam Webster Dictionary defines the word father as man who has begotten a child. Known
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