Photo: Matthew Henry from Burst as the male parent, being a father entails a lot of things and the bearer of this title wears many hats. Several decades ago, when patriarchy was the norm, fathers were the primary breadwinners of the house and leaders in the community. Growing up in Africa and based on my little recollection of my own father, fathers (whom we called “Papa” and not “dad “or “daddy”) were stern patriarchs, breadwinners, symbols of strength and stability and no-nonsense disciplinarians whose words were few and whose very presence evoked some kind of awe and reverence. Fatherhood, over the years, has evolved in many ways. The modern American father changes diapers, prepares meals, bathes the kids, takes them to medical appointments, ballet classes, soccer practice, football tournaments in addition to providing for and supporting the family. History has it that a young lady by the name of Sonora Dodd, who after listening to a sermon on Mother’s Day, came up with the idea of Father’s Day in 1910 to honor her widower father who raised six kids all by himself after the demise of her mother. According to history, the first Father’s Day was celebrated in Washington to honor men, such as Sonora’s father, who had stepped up to be there for their children as single parents. It was not until 1966 that the then president, Lyndon B. Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day and in 1972, President Nixon’s administration made it official. Today, retailers have highjacked the celebration with sales events tagged “Father’s Day Specials” to market their wares with little acknowledgement to its origin and significance. This piece is about fatherhood and what it means to be the male parent. The joys, the challenges and the rewards in a rapidly changing world where the roles of fathers have been redefined and may not entirely reflect what fatherhood meant in two to five decades ago. I spoke with some men in the Des Moines’ African American community to shed more light on the role of the father in the upbringing of the child and how this translates to the mold and character of these children later in life as adults as well as lessons learnt from their own fathers. 33
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