WOMEN WITH NEW OUTLOOKS: Debra, Anahi, Anamaria, Elita, Frankie, Gaylisa, Ursula & Roughiatou Perspective. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 1 Q ISSUE 8 Q EnVision Proven Success Magazine Q We don’t look like what we’ve been through. Q 2021 Q
EnVision Proven Success provides knowledge and resources that empower women to improve their quality of life. LEARN MORE ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM 2 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
PUBLICATION TEAM ISSUE 8: McQUETTA WILLIAMS Founder, CEO / Editor-In-Chief Contents 04 Letter from Our Editor GARTH BISHOP Managing Editor 05 Founder McQuetta Williams 06 Anamaria Perales-Lang LYDIA STUTZMAN Creative Director STEVE MALONE Photographer 10 Gaylisa Carr 14 Ursula Crable 18 Debra Farley WRITERS: Leah Bashaw, Elita Summers, Gerri Collier, Tamani Lucy Thompson, Aislinn Klosterman, Kumba Lebbie, Phillis Hand, Alethea Morris 22 2020–2021 Memories 26 Frankie White VOLUNTEERS Leah Bashaw Toni Bowles Julie Burke Takita Crain Sheirra Haines BOARD Ginny Proctor Mitali Ghatak Tamani Lucy-Thompson Robin McGowan Beverly Corner Kenya Lucy Emily Krombach Shelly Pomponio Dr. Diana Quisenberry Stefany Risner 30 Dr. Anahi Ortiz 33 Elita Summers 35 The Pandemic of 2020 36 Roughiatou Ngaide ADVISORY Anamaria Perales-Lang Dr. Anahi Ortiz H H 40 Q&A with Julie Harmon, Ph.D. 43 Lasting Impressions ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 3 CELEBRATING 6 YEARS AS A NONPROFIT 39 Featured Resources
LETTER FROM OUR EDITOR: A Perspective on Amplification You probably don’t need me to tell you this, but when you read this year’s edition of EnVision Proven Success, you can expect some profound accounts of pain and triumph. That, after all, is what we feature here at EnVision. We find women who have experienced extremely difficult personal circumstances, who have had every reason to just give up and take what life has thrown at them, and decided not to. And they haven’t just decided not to let those circumstances overwhelm them; they’ve decided to turn those challenges into messages of inspiration. We’re not in the business of despair. We’re in the business of hope. And business is good. As editor of the 2021 edition of EnVision Proven Success, my job is to take the stories of our featured women — as written by our diligent team of writers — and make them look good to you, the reader. These women have sacrificed their time and, in some cases, their secrets to tell these stories. They make these sacrifices because they believe their experiences will help others rise above their own problems and try to better both themselves and the world around them. The least I can do is make sure their messages land with as much impact as possible. I’m well aware that I read and edit these stories from a position of enormous privilege. Unlike our featured women, I am fortunate not to have experienced: • a controlling, psychologically abusive spouse • an environment of substance abuse • an environment that encourages criminal enterprise • a lifelong medical condition • the loss of a child • sexual abuse by someone I trusted I’ve not had that kind of personal experience to endure and overcome. I can’t tell a comparable personal story of struggle and endurance. I may know pain — all of us do, of course, on some level — but I don’t know that kind of pain. I can’t put forth my own tale of heartbreak and triumph. But I can ensure that these brave women, who have overcome so much more than any of us could imagine, are able to tell their stories in a way that resonates. “ We’re not in the business of despair. We’re in the business of hope. ” My world is words, but I can only do so much good with my own. Maybe you’ve experienced the kind of pain that can help guide others on their own journey. Maybe you haven’t. But if you haven’t, there’s still some way you can help. Whatever life skills you’ve developed, you can use them to disseminate the message of our featured women: that they don’t look like what they’ve been through. As you read through this issue, think about your own skill set and how it can be used to amplify messages like those of our featured women. And if you find an opportunity to help others see their perspective, take it. Garth Bishop Garth Bishop is editor of the 2021 edition of EnVision Proven Success. A longtime Columbus-area journalist, he is secretary and past president of the Central Ohio Pro chapter of the Society of Professional Journalist. He also works as a freelance writer, editor and writing coach, and as a content writer for Dublin-based digital marketing agency ForeFront Web.
McQUETTA WILLIAMS & EnVision Proven Success This nonprofit and publication anchor on the same name: EnVision Proven Success. The people featured in this publication’s stories present a woman’s perspective of contemporary society, and question how a woman’s worth is judged. The magazine compels readers to think about how women are perceived and treated, and why their true value was not understood. Can you imagine never seeing the perspective of living a successful life? Imagine a day and experience reality through their eyes. We bet it would be the single most educational day of your life. Such an experience cannot easily be explained with words. But that’s exactly what we’d like to do here. How do you convey the intricacies of how a woman experiences the world around her? And what exactly makes a woman’s experience of the world so dramatic? What is it like to be one of the featured women sharing their stories? Let us give you a front row seat and answer some of these pressing questions. For most women, no matter what we do, there always come points in our lives when we think about actions we took when we were younger. These are called perspectives and, sadly, when they hit you, it usually happens during a crisis in life. This year’s publication theme is Perspective. Perspective is Queen. Life is shaped by what we perceive. But life is also shaped by how we perceive it. Our perceptions matter; whatever we perceive will influence our thought process. So, it makes sense that our decision-making affects our ability to see the right things and see them the right way. How we view ourselves affects how we view others, and how we view others affects how we respond to others. To develop as influencers, we need to cultivate a panoramic perspective. Panorama is a Greek word that literally means “all sight.” To live panoramically means to see all that needs to be seen, from all angles and vantage points, and make use of the knowledge that becomes accessible to us. There are seven “sight-lines” that reveal principles for us to continually consider and draw from in our life journey. Each will bring us knowledge that will naturally lead to growth for us personally, and benefit the organizations we are part of. These sight-lines are Hindsight, Farsight, Longsight, Nearsight, Insight, Oversight and Foresight. All seven perspectives are equally valuable, but one or more may stand out to you at this moment. After reading each featured woman’s story, please email us to share your comments on which perspective has the most immediate relevance to you in your current season. Each of the women who shared their stories has regained her dignity and moved forward in a way she previously thought impossible. Their candor allows readers to understand the challenges women from adverse circumstances face, and see that they have made great accomplishments and overcome daunting barriers unimagined by most. I’m sure you will agree that 2020 was quite a year and women were faced with new and uncertain challenges. So, as we continue into 2021, I am asking you to focus some energy on your perspectives this year. Upended by the COVID-19 outbreak, EnVision Proven Success, along with event creators all over the world, has been watching the COVID-19 pandemic as it evolves. We recognize how stressful this time is, and we share your concerns. This creates challenges for our nonprofit, and we need your support. We would like to thank you for supporting the mission/vision of EnVision Proven Success. You Have the Power to Change a Life. We do not take for granted that the mission of EnVision Proven Success would not be possible without supporters like you. SUPPORT EPS As a small grassroots, 501(c)(3) charitable nonprofit organization, we rely largely on the kindness of people like you. Your contributions to EnVision Proven Success will help us provide quality programming and much-needed community tangibles for all women requesting and receiving our comprehensive social support services. There is no shortage of ways that you can help us reach our goals. Please visit our website, envisionprovensuccess.com, if you are looking to donate your time, monthly or annual efforts, sponsorship, volunteer, goods or services, or resources, or to sponsor a featured woman. Also, sign up for our mailing list and check out our social media to ensure you never miss updates. We welcome all support. Again, thank you for supporting the mission of EnVision Proven Success to provide knowledge and resources that empower women to improve their quality of life. As women, “We Don’t Look Like What We’ve Been Through.” #EPSMAGLAUNCH ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 5
Anamaria Perales-Lang A Drive to Empower Women BY AISLINN KLOSTERMAN One of the most impactful experiences of Anamaria Perales-Lang’s life took place at a gas station in the middle of west Columbus. When she stepped out of her car, her power suit glinting in the sunlight, a wave of panic overwhelmed her. She had never had to do this before; someone had always done it for her. She didn’t know how to open the fuel cap, let alone what buttons to press on the gas pump. The panic must have been evident on her face, because a kind police officer quickly came over to show her how to do it. But as he was talking to her, she couldn’t shake the feeling that settled in her gut. “I felt defeated. … I went inside and I remember thinking, ‘How can I be a mother and everything and be so stupid that I can’t put gas in the car? … How can I take care of my daughter, and myself, if I can’t even do something as simple as this?’ she says through tears. This step was the first of many that she needed to take to start her life over after leaving her controlling husband. That experience of defeat and helplessness motivates her to help all people, but especially women, who have to start over. Anamaria’s story begins in El Paso. She comes from a long line of Texans and was the only daughter of her parents’ nine children. She describes her childhood as sheltered, but understands now why she was raised the way she was. Her mother was a strong person of faith who did a lot of good for their community, but they had a very complex relationship. For a long time, Anamaria saw her as the villain in her story, but she now understands how much her mother did for her. She was trying to push her to be the best person she could be. Her father was a mechanic, but to Anamaria, he was a hero. He faced a lot of adversity in his life due to prejudices against his skin color, and for that reason, he emphasized the importance of education. She recalls him telling her, “You always have to know what is going on in the world, and the reason we push you so much toward education is because people can’t take your education from you. … It is the great equalizer.” She took this message to heart and completed her degree in political science at a nearby university, always staying up to date about what was going on in the world. But her parents’ aspirations for her were cut short when she met her future husband. He was eight years younger, an uneducated Army man, and she fell head over heels for him. He had been all around the world and the allure of that adventure drew her to him. Her parents weren’t happy about it – they even boycotted their wedding – but later welcomed him because he was family. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 7
They moved to Charlotte, N.C., away from her family and friends, where Anamaria had her only daughter, Kelli. He didn’t want her to work, so she didn’t, at least until she was offered a job in her apartment complex as a leasing manager. She grew to love her work, especially because it opened her eyes to the real world. Most of her residents were people of color who were not treated well and needed their voices to be heard, so she became that voice. She tried to help them by bringing in new organizations and funding amenities. This was the beginning of what would become her career and where she learned that, as long as she made the owner money, she could do whatever she wanted to help the residents. After a while, her husband decided she wasn’t being a good wife and moved them to Ohio. She had to start over again, and this time, he wouldn’t let her work at all. He told her that she had to pick her job or her family, so she picked her family and focused all of her energy on volunteer work instead. “When you’re in it, you don’t really realize it,” Anamaria says. “You think, ‘OK, you’re right, I don’t want to be a bad mother; being a mother is the only thing I have.” Everything changed when she found out her husband was having an affair and she asked him to leave. They had been married for 18 years and she couldn’t imagine starting over. But for him, it was almost like a switch had been flipped. His eyes turned red and, suddenly, he was violent. He turned off the utilities, overdrafted their bank accounts and destroyed things. He told her that if she went through with it, she would have nothing, since everything was in his name. He had control of family, friends, everything in her life. She called her mother, looking for sympathy, but got only a wake-up call. Her mother asked her, “Why are you crying? …. You are an educated woman, you are a smart woman, you have a daughter to raise. Is this what you are showing her? That falling apart is the way women handle things? She is watching you. Whatever you do is going to impact her for the rest of her life. Are you going to be a woman and suck it up and do what you need to do, or are you going to fall apart?” Anamaria took a deep breath and started taking action. She decided to stay in Ohio to give Kelli some stability, especially because she was very close to her dad and his family. She learned how to put gas in her car, opened her own bank account and received a great deal of encouragement and support from her neighbors in Marengo. She soon got a job in property management, and started putting her and her daughter’s lives back together. Anamaria was still struggling to comprehend how her life could be turned upside down in a moment, when she thought she was doing everything right as a wife and mother. She was ashamed and terrified, and didn’t want to tell anyone what was happening to her. She says she doesn’t want anyone to have to feel that way. She now believes it was actually a blessing that she went through those things. Her brothers, lower left to right: Demetrio, Fred, her and Richard Back row: Carlos, Robert, Arturo and Jorge Her grandbaby Amy and her celebrating Hispanic Heritage Month She was recognized as one of the Distinguished Latinos in Ohio 8 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
“What happened to me wasn’t a bad thing,” she says. “… It was preparing me for my mission, because had I not gone through this … I would have never realized that, in this job, I can do some good.” She recognizes that some people have had it a lot worse than her, and cites her strong faith and education, both of which were nurtured by her parents, as the main reasons she was able to survive. She knows that many people don’t have either and is driven to help them. She developed a passion for helping survivors of domestic abuse after working in west Columbus. She saw how many immigrant women suffer from domestic violence because, if they disappeared, no one would know. After talking to these women, she became more determined than ever to empower all people, but especially women. She wanted them to know that somebody would notice if they were gone. “I realized that society has taken (women) and put us into little boxes, to forget what happened to us and to not talk about it or help other women,” she says. But she wants people to talk about it. As director of Belle Harbour Management of Ohio, she puts her philosophy into practice. She manages in a compassionate way and stands up for her residents and employees, whether that means making sure the police take her people’s concerns seriously or giving someone a break on their rent when they’re in need. She rewrites policy in their favor and recently made sure the language used is gender neutral to include queer relationships. She treats her employees like family, makes sure they have PTO and even lets them bring their kids into work. Anamaria also makes blessing bags for organizations that empower women and people who struggle with opioid abuse. She also gives them to people who come into her office to pay rent, especially men, because it really brightens their day. She is proud that her views are constantly evolving and believes in the power of paying it forward and giving back. “ People already have what it takes, they just need a little bit of help. ” Her life is very good now, with beautiful grandchildren, a job she loves, a community that she believes in and works for, a husband who supports her and lets her be herself, a daughter who is her pride and joy, and a close-knit group of Latina friends who keep her sane. She keeps God in her life, and knows that her strong faith, which she got from her mother and passes down to her daughter and grandchildren, that has guided her to acting on her mission every day. “(People) already have what it takes, they just need a little bit of help,” she says. “… If we’re successful, then we have an opportunity (to do that).” Aislinn Klosterman Aislinn Klosterman is an intern and writer for EnVision Proven Success and a student at The Ohio State University. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 9
Gaylisa Carr Re-Entry: Adjusting Lives, Healing Hearts BY ELITA SUMMERS Gaylisa Carr is a compassionate and empathetic individual and a thriving entrepreneur, changing lives one mentorship, one opportunity at a time. She has a heart for the community as well as for incarcerated individuals and their families. Re-entry candidates seek out her program, which provides mental and emotional support, transition assistance, and career development opportunities. Having utilized some of the programs in place at that time, she saw firsthand the gaps that needed to be filled. This inspired her to use her experience for good and make a way for others where there previously was none. A brush with the law on a visit home from college resulted in a major change in perspective for Gaylisa. “I just should have never come home from college,” she says. “My brother and cousins, everyone was doing it in the ’90s and the ’80s. I just thought it was fun (selling drugs) not thinking somebody was going to come and try to rob me.” While the situation caused a lot of pain for both her and her family, it turned out to be “the greatest blessing ever,” she says. From a mistake came reflection and course correction, as well as the opportunity for lives to be changed, businesses to be started, jobs to be created and fill, and a lasting impact to be made on the community. Under Gaylisa’s mentorship program, “My Mind Is Killing Me,” candidates focus on creating new habits and understanding their thoughts. She finds participants have often made a bad decision because they didn’t think it all the way though, and encourages them to “play the tape all the way through” to determine if the action is worth the outcome. Instead of focusing on all the wrongdoing, Gaylisa prompts candidates to take ownership of it so they can move forward in a healthy manner. She and her mentors form relationships with candidates and help them create new habits for owning “all the mistrust, all the breakup of support,” she says. Having had the love and support of her mother during her incarceration, she is able to extend the same to her mentees. Candidates are empowered to support themselves and acknowledge each improvement, no matter the size. Incremental change and positive reinforcement sparks a boost in confidence and habit building, which allows candidates to nurture their fresh start in a way that is unique to them, while making full use of their re-entry support team. Financial resources are in place for candidates to help them be good stewards of their resources and explore business or nonprofit endeavors. Financial planning is a key to success. When a candidate exits the program, they have housing, a job and a budget secured for them. If a candidate does not have safe housing, a dependable job or financial understanding upon re-entry, it is more likely that they will repeat the habits they tried to break. Candidates have a variety of career options, including janitorial and restaurant industry work. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 11
After a candidate exits the program, the relationship continues. Carr and her team of mentors check in with candidates and encourage them to build partnerships and work within her companies or start their own businesses. This creates reinforcement of the support system as well as networking opportunities. “You don’t branch out when you think you’ve got it,” Gaylisa says. She encourages her candidates to reach out to her any time, and empowers them to build their own network and support system. Part of what keeps Gaylisa going with her nonprofit and the for-profit businesses that partner with the re-entry program — Adjusting Lives, Healing Hearts (ALHH), also in honor of her mother and Ami Lee’s Heart (ALH) — is her perspective. She believes that all people are generally good. “Everybody deserves a chance, at least once or twice,” Gaylisa says. “We can’t be so judgmental. This is a whole population, millions of people impacted by incarceration in one form or another. Don’t let it be the black cloud for society.” Though many would allow life’s circumstances to keep them down, Gaylisa uses her personal re-entry experience to help pave the way for a smoother transition for re-entry candidates. She emphasizes that organizations must be more mindful, look into what people are doing and making things happen. Follow up and see if they do the work. “Not one organization helped me when I got out and I went to all of them. And they still have not helped me to this day,” Gaylisa says. With ALHH, participants aren’t simply given a piece of paper; they have contacts, mentoring and self-sufficiency opportunities. They’re met with an open heart, empathy and empowerment. Having gone on this journey herself, Gaylisa is able to be the change in the re-entry system she so desires to see. Elita Summers Elita is a writer for EPS. During the day, she is an analyst and has held positions as a technical consultant and database administrator. When not behind a screen, she enjoys reading actual books, hiking, cooking and spending time with family. “ We can’t be so judgmental. This is a whole population, millions of people impacted by incarceration in one form or another. Don’t let it be the black cloud for society. GAYLISA CARR ” 12 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
THANK YOU TO OUR PARTNERS & SPONSORS Hallie Hoover TIMELESS PERFECTION PHOTOGRAPHY TimelessPerfectionPhotography@gmail.com 740.248.4694 Garth Bishop FREELANCE WRITER, EDITOR & WRITING COACH Wild Tiger Tees Screenprinting and design shop empowering youth experiencing homelessness in central Ohio GARTH.BISHOP@HOTMAIL.COM wildtigertees.com us@wildtigertees.com 614.636.0133 Steve Malone Photography Capturing people & places. SteveMalonePhoto.darkroom.tech smalone1987@gmail.com Lydiary Design GRAPHIC DESIGN & STRATEGY FOR GOOD Lydiary.com | @TheLydiary | Columbus, OH Your Ad Here! Advertise your business in our next issue. Full, half, quarter, and business card size space available. eps@envisionprovensuccess.org ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 13
Ursula Crable Walking in Her Purpose BY TAMANI LUCY-THOMPSON Young Ursula Ursula Crable sits back on her couch at the Freeman House and willfully discloses she was the result of her mother’s calculated attempt to trap her father into staying in an unhealthy relationship. She was born at the University of Oklahoma Medical Center. While most mothers eagerly anticipated their new arrivals, baby Ursula had to be rescued by her maternal grandmother because her mother discarded this new life within hours of her birth. Her grandma covered her in prayer and did her best to provide. Ursula recalls living with her grandmother and uncle when the first day of kindergarten approached. Instead of a vision of welcoming smiles and cheerful faces, Ursula remembers her uncle leading her into the filthy hands of a perpetrator. At the tender age of 5, she was robbed of her innocence. Her uncle pimped her out for drugs and money, and convinced her she had to keep his heinous secret because she was nasty. She held on to the secret out of fear and endured this unimaginable exploitation for five long years. The trafficking came to an abrupt halt after her family moved to another location, though not before Ursula developed a disdain for older men and a disgust with certain scents she smelled on them. Burying her secret, Ursula became sexually active as a teenager and soon became pregnant. Her grandmother and mother, unwilling to accept Ursula having a child before marriage, sent her away to a home that hid the secrets of unwed pregnancies. No one consulted 15-year-old Ursula before, at six months pregnant, she was separated from her 16-year-old boyfriend and relocated to a place called “Home of the Redeeming Love,” designed specifically for unwed mothers. After delivering a healthy baby boy, she was pushed into relinquishing all rights as a parent and watched as he was removed from her arms. After being discharged, Ursula was forced to reunite with her mother in California. Her resentment toward the woman who had been absent for most of her life made the situation volatile, and one altercation with her mother landed Ursula on the streets. Unwilling to let her mother witness her pain, she hastily moved in with her then-boyfriend. His mother was adamant they be married if Ursula were to live with them. Her boyfriend soon proposed, and after she agreed, his family effortlessly arranged a wedding in their back yard, with Ursula’s mother giving permission since she was a minor. Married at 17, without any guidance or examples of healthy relationships, she didn’t recognize any warning signs. Her new husband was possessive and jealous. He was unfaithful, but often accused her of infidelity. She assumed his adulterous behavior was normal. He also began to physically abuse her, and she couldn’t understand why his family, who claimed to love her, never intervened. As a child, no one was there to help Ursula. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 15
“At 5 years old, if they would just have looked at me, somebody would have known,” Ursula says. Now, she was surrounded by a new family that refused to notice the yells, the screams, the black eyes. “I can relate with “ Don’t give up or settle or turn to something that numbs the pain. Because when that stuff wears off, you are going to start feeling life. Pray and have faith. ” women that get punched in the face for no reason – the battered wife syndrome,” Ursula says. On multiple occasions, she planned her escape, even enlisting in the military and taking a break from him for at least six years. She moved around the country and mentions, laughing, that she acquired eight different IDs while fleeing from him. Even so, she would feel lonely and long for him. “There was something that made me miss him, and I would go back to him,” Ursula says. She recalls being dragged down the concourse at the airport, punched so hard that her pierced earrings fell out of her ears, being shot at with a rifle. She would pray and ask God to change him or send a sign if they were meant to be together. She honored her vows in fear of displeasing God. One evening, she was waiting for her husband to come home. She found herself at the loaded rifle sitting by their front door in case of an intruder. Ursula studied it and contemplated, in her words, “blowing his brains out.” That is when she describes hearing the audible voice of God. She clearly heard him say, “Sweetheart, you don’t need to do that. It is time for you to go,” Ursula says. Ursula knew that was the confirmation she had been praying for. She got into contact with an Atlanta agency called Battered Women’s Underground, which helped her relocate to Kansas City. On Valentine’s Day, Ursula packed all she could carry in her car and finally left her husband. She drove nonstop from Atlanta to Kansas City. Unfortunately, the organization’s arrangements for housing didn’t work out, and she was forced into a shelter. While climbing the stairs at the shelter, she spoke to God, 16 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE saying, “Well, God, there isn’t anything else I can do but go up.” During her stay at the shelter, she found clarity to reevaluate her life. Bible study was a requirement at the shelter, and she appreciated the opportunity to reconnect with God. She learned to embrace her singleness and enjoy the fragrance of God. She was reminded that she was the bride of Christ and all that she was searching for could be found in him. She quickly became known to many as the “encourager” for her efforts to support the people around her. She constantly reminded herself that where she lived did not determine who she was. Though filled with a new sense of purpose, she still did not wish to divorce her husband, though she had not spoken to him in some time. While Ursula was attending a church service at Rhema Christian Center in Columbus, Bishop Lafayette Scales, now her spiritual father, delivered a message to the congregation that spoke directly to her. Scales laid out three words, each beginning with ‘A,’ from the Bible to mark only times God gives permission to dissolve a marriage: adultery, abuse and abandonment, the latter of which she had felt even in her husband’s presence. This was the breakthrough Ursula needed to divorce her husband and be set free. She now raises her voice for women in hopeless situations: “You can come out. Don’t give up or settle or turn to something that numbs the pain. Because when that stuff wears off, you are going to start feeling life. Pray and have faith.” From there, Ursula has obtained an associate’s degree in biblical studies, a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in Christian counseling and pastoral care. She can’t explain how she made it through all her struggles, she says, but clearly understands why. Just a few short years ago, she dreamed of a life where she could provide a safe haven to women who needed a rescue. When she was referred to the visionary Barbara Freeman and the Freeman House, the dream became a reality. The Freeman House is transitional housing for survivors of human trafficking and domestic violence. She and Barbara agree that it was a divine appointment. Ursula moved in on Feb. 27, 2018, and today is the proud on-site administrator. Affectionally
called “Mama,” she is working to break the snare that has bound so many girls and women. She gives God all the credit for positioning her. Ursula is confident that she is doing the will of her father. The manifested promise of God is truly made known. “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 Ursula recognizes that her life is not her own; she belongs to him. She describes herself as a quilt with holes constantly being patched up by God. His newest patch has been her reunion with her son, who has always held a place in her heart. After years of searching on her own, she was finally able to find him via a Facebook group agency called Search Squad. Her son had been placed in the arms of a loving family who now welcomed her. She emphasizes that God wanted to show her that he was responsible for the events leading to her physically embracing her son on Mother’s Day 2020. Ursula plans to share in depth her journey in her upcoming book, titled Ebony Crafted by Faith. She still can’t imagine what her mother thought when she left her, how addiction could cause her uncle to use her body for monetary gain or how the man who said “I do” could shoot at her. Today, she prides herself on knowing the “why:” God needed to put her to a test, so she could have a testimony. A woman’s life is counting on her. Somebody’s daughter’s broken places will be restored because of her message. “Unfortunately, life is going to offer you some licks. They might not all be the same; you are just going to have to cope with them differently,” Ursula says. Ursula says she is often in disbelief at how her life has unfolded for her. Now, she is highly respected in the community and is walking in her purpose. She is eager to share the joy and peace she has today because she never gave up. Ursula through the years Tamani Lucy-Thompson Tamani is a writer for EnVision Proven Success who has contributed since the first publication. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology and has committed to serving women focused on recovery from drug and alcohol. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 17
Debra Farley Coloring Others’ Perspectives BY LEAH BASHAW Debra Farley always knew that she was different. She grew up as the youngest of five children, and her brothers and sisters all have medium- and dark-colored skin. Debra’s skin is white, though, because she was born with albinism. Albinism is a genetic disorder that causes the body to produce little to no melanin. In the U.S., approximately one in 20,000 people are born with it. People with albinism typically have pale skin, eyes and hair. While Debra grew up in a loving family, going out in public was full of obstacles. Cruel people would make hurtful comments, and Debra says she frequently saw people laughing or pointing when they saw her. Debra didn’t know why she was different. Was there something wrong with her? She became increasingly anxious, and struggled to develop self-confidence. She didn’t like going anywhere new, and she didn’t like being around people she didn’t know. Debra wanted to stay near family and friends, people who could protect her and stand up for her against the world. But it was impossible to stay in a bubble, as she soon learned. When she was 13, Debra traveled from Ohio to St. Louis to visit her brother for the summer. She became friends with a neighbor girl who was about her age. One day, Debra and her newfound friend were walking to a gas station to get some candy, and took a shortcut through an alleyway. As they entered, a teenage boy coming from the opposite direction walked toward them swinging a bamboo stick. He greeted them by yelling, “Hey sisters,” stopping when he got closer. He stared and then pointed to Debra and told her, “You’re not a sister.” Debra called back, “Yes, I am”. The boy took the bamboo rod and began beating her with it, before the two girls could run away. “I’ll never forget that,” Debra says. Debra was nervous when she entered high school in 1974. She wasn’t sure how her new classmates would treat her. However, she made a true friend in her school, one she still talks to today. Her friend initially thought that she was white, Debra says, but never cared about her skin color. She would tell Debra that she had helped educate her about albinism, and always dressed clean and neat. Others in the class didn’t seem to know how to approach her, though. It wasn’t until she was older that Debra began discussing albinism with others. “I felt ugly,” she says. Out in public, people would make rude comments. On the city bus, people would laugh when she passed by. Just walking down the street was difficult, and after her experience in St. Louis, Debra wondered if “God punished me because I’m like this.” Debra has always noticed when race relations in the U.S. were strained. She references an experience from when she was working at a hospital in the 1990s. Walking down the hall, she heard a nurse tell another nurse, “She’s not white.” Debra was stuck between two worlds. Black people told her she was white, and white people told her she was Black. Her mother told her about traveling in the South when Debra was a baby, and being fearful because of the looks people would give her – she was ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 19
afraid people would think she had stolen a white baby. Growing up, Debra always wanted to be the color that her siblings were, and felt out of place because she looked so different from them, she says, even though they never treated her differently. Debra laments the lack of information about albinism. She recalls buying an instant tanning lotion, not realizing that people with albinism cannot tan. Instead of the lotion giving her a slightly darker complexion, it didn’t work at all. “The spots that did tan turned completely orange!” she laughs. People with albinism frequently have poor eyesight, too, and while Debra was able to get her driver’s license, many others are unable to pass the eyesight test. Worse than that lack of information is the misinformation. Debra was once told, after dyeing her hair red, that she couldn’t actually be albino, because people with albinism “can’t dye their hair.” People often share misinformation through social media, she says, and these comments are hurtful. Sometimes they will post a picture of a child with albinism with a caption instructing the viewers to share it if they think the child is cute. “What does that mean?” Debra asks. “What does that have to do with anything?” At one time, Debra preferred to ignore comments, as she ignored rude stares and hurtful comments, but now, she is more likely to respond to people’s uneducated comments. She wants people to know that those with albinism “have feelings, too,” she says. “We’re not on display.” Albinism is not a disease, and it’s not something to be cured, she continues: “We ourselves can’t change it, because if we could, we would.” Debra’s perspective has changed over time. There was no single defining moment, but a slow drift toward acceptance of herself. “Your perspective and world view change a lot when you get older,” she says. Debra no longer cares what people think, because she has reached a peace of knowing who she is. She still faces obstacles and comments about her appearance, but knows her self-worth is not wrapped up in how she looks. Young Debra Debra once asked her children if they were ever embarrassed about her appearance, and they said no. To them, she is just their mom. Debra says that as she has matured, her perspective has changed, “ Your perspective and world view change a lot when you get older. ” because appearance isn’t as important as it used to be. She doesn’t notice people staring as much as they did when she was growing up, but she’s not sure if people stare less, or if she has simply grown used to the attention. She wants to share her story to help educate the public about people with albinism, so that the world can become a better place. Leah Bashaw Leah was raised in Columbus, Ohio and graduated from The Ohio State University with a B.A. in English. Leah is passionate about writing and strives to be active in the Columbus community, exploring the sights and volunteering. 20 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
FINDING MY TRUTH Mentorship an effort to raise women’s awareness and knowledge of self, EnVision Proven Success established a mentorship program designed to empower women to rise above their current situations through mentoring and education. Our mentorship program intentionally confronts areas of our lives that cause us to stay stuck, not knowing how we will be able to move forward after life’s challenges. Our organization is committed to ensuring that women improve their quality of life and obtain the necessary tools and resources to achieve the life that we are called to live. Six areas of focus: 1 Gaining self-awareness 2 Developing a life plan 3 Releasing and breaking free from past hurt and walking in purpose 4 Business and entrepreneurship 5 Personal development 6 Self-care Do you have experiences and lessons that you can you bring to the mentorship program? Is this a program you’re willing to commit to? Are you passionate about your development or the development of others? If you answered yes and want to be a mentor, please contact our Mentorship Coordinator, Sheirra Haines, at imendbrokenness@gmail.com. We are looking for mentees as well. Kenya Lucy, Mentee Kenya Lucy is one of the mentees of “Finding My Truth,” an EnVision Proven Success board member, a Niaa League HYPE softball coach, and a senior majoring in law at Central State University. “Hi, my name is Kenya Lucy and I am one of the mentees from EnVision Proven Success’ mentorship program, ‘Finding My Truth.’ My experience in the program has been excellent. I love having my mentor to be able to confine in her, being able to be encouraged by her, all the tools and tips I can use outside of the program that I can applied in my everyday life. I definitely plan to be a mentor now that I have completed the program. I just want to say you so much for allowing me to be in the program.” ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 21
2020–2021 MEMORIES 22 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
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We don’t look like what we’ve been through.
Frankie White Will Peace Prevail? BY GERRI R. COLLIER Frankie White believes that her belief and faith in God saved her. She believes that, if you believe in Jesus the Christ, you can overcome any adverse situation. Frankie was reared in a multigenerational household with her hardworking mother, her alcoholic father, her sister, her brother, her aunt and her grandmother. She read library books, studied for school and helped her siblings with their own schoolwork. Her life took a turn when, at 15, Frankie began a relationship with a 15-year-old neighbor, even though their fathers were antagonistic toward each other because of a childhood feud. During their relationship, Frankie’s thenbest friend arranged for her to be raped by two grown men. The men subsequently destroyed Frankie’s reputation by bragging about the incident, claiming Frankie was promiscuous and consented to the sexual crime. Needless to say, Frankie ended the friendship, though she was too scared to tell her parents about the gang rape. It would only get worse. The next day, Frankie was raped by her boyfriend as well. He refused to believe she had been raped, nor did he accept that he was raping her as well, as he claimed that, since she had sex with the two men, she could have sex with him. They continued to date, and her boyfriend became more and more abusive over the course of their 15-year, on-and-off relationship. He controlled her. He abused her physically, emotionally, financially, sexually, verbally, psychologically and mentally. Later, he became addicted to drugs. After Frankie acknowledged his addiction, her boyfriend left for two years, promising he would get himself together, but when he returned, Frankie soon found out he had not changed. She had two children with her then-boyfriend by age 24. Each time Frankie tried to escape from him, he would find her and inflict additional harm upon her and whoever was helping her. He stole money from her. He would come to her workplace and make unreasonable demands. He would threaten to harm her family and their children. One day, he almost strangled Frankie to death. Her only thought was, “God, don’t let my mother find me dead on this couch.” She says a spiritual realm opened for her. She saw a light, and an angel told her to start saying the Lord’s Prayer. She did, and it felt as though strong arms pulled her boyfriend off of her. She escaped by running up the stairs and hiding in a locked room until her aunt came home. Frankie told her to call the police and that her boyfriend had tried to kill her. The aunt went back downstairs, and the boyfriend left the house. This was the first time Frankie had fought back. That night, Frankie says, the angel told her to go to LSS Choices for Victims of Domestic Violence for. The next morning, she told her neighbor about her boyfriend’s abusive behavior and asked her for help. She gave the neighbor her keys and told her to sell all of the valuables in her house. Frankie took her youngest son with her to CHOICES, while her 3-year-old stayed with Frankie’s mother. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 27
CHOICES gave Frankie safe transportation to and from work because her boyfriend had stolen her car. She got her work supervisor to help her file a restraining order so her boyfriend could not come to her job or anywhere else she was, and put his picture at the front desk. CHOICES also helped Frankie file for bankruptcy, since her boyfriend had disappeared with her car. He was eventually arrested when the police pulled him over with another woman, who he tried to claim was Frankie, and the car was returned to the creditor. After leaving CHOICES and moving in with her mother, she began a relationship with a former high school classmate. The relationship was so different from her previous one that she quickly fell in love and got married. Her husband took good care of her, they both had jobs and they socialized together frequently. Eventually, though, Frankie noticed her husband was spending more time away from her and their family. She ran into him at the grocery store holding hands with another woman, who he said he was giving a ride home. As time went by, Frankie would have a dream whenever her husband was cheating on her. He promised to stop cheating, but refused to go to joint counseling, and would continue to have affairs and disingenuously apologize when caught. Her husband’s paramours always seemed to know more about Frankie than Frankie knew about them, and would sometimes try to cost her her job. A few later apologized after realizing they were involved with a married man. Frankie sought counseling again to deal with the depression from her husband’s emotional abuse. On one occasion, Frankie’s sister realized one of her coworkers was dating her brother-in-law; the coworker was shocked to learn the man she was dating was married. The final straw occurred when Frankie left the state for a week to deal with a death in her immediate family, and returned home to a message from a woman who said that she was in love with Frankie’s husband and they had been in a relationship for six months. Frankie confronted her husband, who said he loved both of them. She forced him to make a choice, and he left, pushing Frankie into severe depression. Her husband would continue to stay with Frankie when he and his girlfriend had arguments, then go back to her. 28 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE Frankie’s emotional state was such that she was unable to work for an entire year. She stopped sleeping in her marriage bed and moved to the living room couch. She later obtained a part-time job to pay her bills and learned it was near where her husband was staying with his mistress. Driving by the house on the way home from work, she would lose her composure and do things to hurt them. She took all of her husband’s clothes from her house and left them on the lawn. She would knock on the door and try to have conversations with them. She says she felt as though the devil was making her do those things. Then light came again when Frankie joined a ministry called Sisters and Girlfriends in Christ (SAGIC). Group members met every Thursday to have conversations about their problems and then pray for one another. After she had spent some time in the group, she felt the Holy Spirit again, telling her to stop going after her husband and his mistress. She asked God for help, and he delivered. From that night on, she left the couch behind and went back to sleeping in her bed. The next year, she took time off to get herself together, raise her grandson and take care of her mother, who had become very ill. In the meantime, she filed for divorce. Her husband contested the divorce, then tried to take the house she lived in with her son and grandson. After a yearlong court battle, Frankie dropped the case and paid the court costs. Six months later, her husband filed for divorce himself. Frankie signed the paperwork, but had to pay half of the costs. After the divorce was finalized, Frankie and her sister went to a club to celebrate – where they ran into her now ex-husband and his girlfriend celebrating in advance of their wedding the next day. Frankie and her sister left the club before tensions could escalate. A subsequent return to counseling helped Frankie to understand the traumatic impact of her abusive 15-year relationship with her boyfriend, her gang rape, her 17 years of marriage to a cheating husband. She found peace in living a celibate life. She found freedom to say, “I can do bad all by myself.” During this turbulent time, Frankie she tried to make a plan for her future. She went to college to study to be a minister, but could not afford to complete her coursework. Instead, she became an entrepreneur with an online specialty gift shop. A hack of her website forced Frankie to shutter the business, but
local media and an IT specialist helped her fix the problems. Frankie did not give up and continued to pursue business success. Frankie credits SAGIC for keeping her sane and giving her the strength to venture out and do for others, after spending so much time as a caregiver for her children, grandchildren and her mother, as well as stints as a nanny and a child care assistant. Today, Frankie operates her a home-based business, Lovely Jewels 4U, selling retail jewelry. She also works as a special education instructional assistant for Columbus City Schools and an educational programming assistant for the Capital Kids Program, while still serving as a caregiver for her 77-year-old mother. Frankie also attends Eastern Gateway Community College, studying to obtain her associate’s degree in business management with a minor in marketing. She plans to continue with a bachelor’s degree from Central State University. She is working to develop a consulting business helping owners with their business plans under the umbrella Ms. Frankie’s. On top of her professional work, Frankie is board secretary for SAGIC and as part of the Gahanna chapter of philanthropic/social/civil/ cultural organization Charms, Inc. She also volunteers as a mentor for the EnVision Proven Success ministry “Finding my Truth” program. Frankie hopes others will realize they can live through and get out of an abusive relationship through professional guidance as well as support from friends, family and church. It took lots of prayer for Frankie to make it through, but she is glad she is alive today to tell her story. She has even made peace with her abusive ex-boyfriend and cheating exhusband. More importantly, Frankie is at peace with herself. Gerri R. Collier Gerri is a proud mother and grandmother of one daughter and one granddaughter. She is an avid reader and writer and has spent the majority of her life doing one or the other. Gerri has spent the last four years as a state volunteer and central Ohio team volunteer for AARP. She is a member of the Professional Women’s Group of Dress for Success Columbus. Gerri has earned degrees in Accounting, Business Management, Human Resource Management and Organizational Leadership, and Metaphysics. She is currently employed as a Business Compliance Auditor. GREAT NONPROFITS Please help people to be more aware of our cause and EnVision Proven Success by giving a review of our organization through this link: greatnonprofits.org/reviews/write/envision-proven-success ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 29
“ Just because you have a rough start in life or have challenges growing up doesn’t mean that you cannot achieve great things. ” DR. ANAHI ORTIZ
Dr. Anahi Ortiz Turning Belief to Reality BY PHILLIS HAND Dr. Anahi Ortiz has had a multi-faceted life, but it has always involved helping others. Anahi was born in New York, where she grew up with a loving family, but challenging circumstances. Her father was an alcoholic who left the family when she was 5. She was raised entirely by her mother, an immigrant from South America. On one hand, the environment that she grew up in saw her witnessing people buying and selling drugs to be able to support their families. On the other, she has a brother who became an aeronautical engineer and a sister who became a fashion buyer for several popular fashion businesses. At 17, Anahi got an after-school job to help her family financially. She was supported by her mother, who felt education and goals were extremely important. Anahi attended a six-year BS-MD program in New York, receiving her medical degree from SUNY Downstate College of Medicine in Brooklyn. She practiced pediatrics, and worked with the at-risk population in New York and Washington state before moving here to Ohio. After moving to Columbus in 1996, Anahi worked at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, eventually leaving for what is now PrimaryOne Health. From there, she did medical consulting for the Social Security Administration. Throughout all of these jobs, Anahi volunteered in areas where her skills were needed, including Timmy Global Health, Helping Hands Health and Wellness Center and Meals on Wheels. Anahi met then-Franklin County Coroner Dr. Jan Gorniak while working as a medical consultant. Gorniak encouraged Anahi to add her name to a list of candidates for appointment to the coroner’s job when Gorniak left midway through her term to take a job in Atlanta. Anahi was appointed in 2014, ran for election in 2016 and 2020, and was elected each time. One of Anahi’s goals as coroner is to make sure the agency is culturally sensitive and available to all people. She also aspires to make the office an agency of excellence by improving the recruiting process, increasing educational opportunities for staff – especially in leadership development – and encouraging presentations to state and national organizations. In March 2015, Franklin County created an overdose fatality review to study drug deaths in the county. Franklin County Public Health, ADAMH and Maryhaven collaborated with law enforcement to look into overdose deaths and their underlying causes. From that meeting, Project DAWN was recruited to bring overdose education and naloxone distribution to Franklin County. Franklin County Public Health now leads Project DAWN. In 2019, Anahi applied for a sub-grant through Franklin County Public Health to provide the means for an epidemiologist to submit statistics for overdoses, suicides and homicides. The next year, an intervention specialist was added through the grant to develop possible solutions to overdose ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 31
deaths in the county. Of the county’s overdose deaths – which rose by about 45% in 2020 – 86% are attributed to fentanyl. Anahi also has many personal achievements to speak of. She raised three children, now grown, as a single mom: a daughter in New York, a son in Washington and a third children serving as a social worker here in Columbus. Anahi supports efforts to maintain mental well-being, and loves to hike and spend time in New Mexico. She frequently takes public speaking engagements to support the community’s physical and mental health needs. Anahi wants her message to be one of hope. She wants the younger generations to know they can achieve anything that they want to achieve. She says she would have never imagined herself being the Franklin County Coroner; she had to dream it and believe it to achieve it. “Just because you have a rough start in life or have challenges growing up doesn’t mean that you cannot achieve great things,” Anahi says. Anahi encourages the younger generations to keep their goals high and their heads up. She encourages them to reach for their goals, even if they’re not sure they can achieve them. She never considered serving as an elected official, and thought about it for six months before she went for it. When she realized that it was an opportunity to make a difference, she realized it was the right opportunity for her. Phillis Hand Phillis is a volunteer and a 2021 writer for EnVision Proven Success. EPS VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT LYDIA STUTZMAN Y Magazine Creative Director, 2019–Present Y Lydia is an independent graphic designer, art director and brand strategist focused on working with nonprofits and social enterprises. She has been a volunteer with EPS since 2019 as the creative director and graphic designer for EnVision Proven Success magazine. We’re grateful for Lydia’s continued support and time making our stories shine through design. You can see more of her work at Lydiary.com. Thank you to all of our volunteers for everything they do for our organization! Over the past year at EnVision Proven Success, our volunteers have donated many hours. These volunteers do incredibly valuable work in our community and help individuals experiencing domestic violence, recovery, re-entry, suicide prevention, human trafficking and disabilities, helping the women we serve to regain their dignity and move forward in ways they previously thought impossible. Our volunteer opportunities range from serving on our board of directors, to providing legal and financial assistance to survivors, to assisting with our prevention programs, fundraisers and office tasks. 32 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
Elita Summers Beautiful Things my Miscarriage Taught Me BY ALETHEA MORRIS always seemed like it was exclusively theirs — like they were the only ones in the world who had gone through it. If people in general were a little more open about their experiences, Elita says, people might not feel so alone in their pain. It sometimes seems beneficial to store the emotion away, and come back to it later or solve it a little at a time. But often, that does more harm than good, she says. “ Losing her first child to miscarriage made Elita Summers confront her pain, and helped show her how sharing her own life experiences could help others who have gone through similarly terrible circumstances. She believes that her decision to not bury the pain has pushed her to an emotional comeback. As a data analyst and deep thinker, Elita shares with raw emotion the pain and heartache of her loss and reflects on her healing journey. She opened up about her miscarriage because she believes in the importance of letting the heart heal. Those who feel pain need not bury it, she says, and carry it with them for years. “Women physically and emotionally experience the miscarriage. Men experience it also, but in a different dynamic,” Elita says. “I want this story’s lessons to be out there. I strongly believe whoever needs to receive this story will receive it. When something is spoken from the heart, it always finds the person for whom God sent it.” Growing up, Elita did not have much of a model for learning about healing. Her parents were great, she says, but in their household, certain things couldn’t be brought up. “As a family, we had to store it away for a little bit and ... process it in bite-size chunks.” When her family was in the middle of a problem, it Your can’t use the same tools for every problem. ” You also can’t use the same tools for every problem, Elita says. When a coping tool is misued, it becomes a detriment. Elita learned that feelings are OK because the Lord wired us with emotions, and it’s up to us to process them and let them flow. Trying not to bury the pain, Elita states learned to process her feelings and keep them from dominating her life. “Emotions can just fester, and you have this broken smile on, but it’s really doing more harm than good,” she says. “It’s actually a little messy at first. It’s like if you’ve ever looked into a child’s room and it’s an absolute mess with stuff all over the place. It’s not until you acknowledge one thing that you can act on, or that is out of place, that you can start to bring order to a situation. When I was in the thick of everything, I really just had to cry it out, which is weird because I don’t cry.” “Whether it was my interactions with other people or my interactions with my husband or my relationship with the Lord, I really just needed to feel,” Elita says. The aftermath of her miscarriage taught her that she couldn’t keep it together all the time. She realized that we are not made to keep it together all the time, and she was trying to heal in her own strength. She was handling it in the way she thought she should, she says, but what she really needed to do was just let go. Instead of trying to control the outcome and compartmentalize everything, she needed to let go. During the pandemic, Elita remembers coping with mini crying sessions while her husband was on grocery runs. She wasn’t yet ready to bring him into the healing process, she says. “We can’t both ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 33
be out of order, so just letting the tears come for however long they did was really beneficial,” she says. “Not even trying to put any words on it, just letting it happen, not like how we usually try to talk to ourselves about things.” She started out by acknowledging that she lost the baby. “I’m naturally a very optimistic person, and it is tempting to use that as a veil sometimes to keep moving forward,” she says. “So I had to really take that off.” Soon enough, she realized that putting all her energy into keeping it together wasn’t helping. By not being authentic, she says, she was actually doing her husband a disservice. She worried that seeing her not impacted by the miscarriage might make him think there was something wrong with his own reactions. “We eventually came together. I wish it would have been earlier, but everything is in its right time,” Elita says. When she saw how deeply impacted her husband was by the miscarriage, she realized part of the reason he was having a hard time moving forward was that he believed she had set the bar for healing and he needed to be there, too – even though she wasn’t coping nearly as well as she let on. CONTRIBUTE NOV. 30: GIVING TUESDAY We are incredibly proud to be a Top-Rated nonprofit and a part of the #GivingTuesday movement. Help us make November 30, 2021 a day to remember, please visit our website envisionprovensuccess.com to donate. Elita admitted to her that she didn’t have it all together. She told him about putting laundry in the washing machine and crying while he was sleeping in the mornings. She told him about the thoughts racing through her head while he shopped for groceries. Learning about Elita’s pain helped her husband be more open. “We were really able to break down the walls of emotional vulnerability that we did not even know existed,” Elita says. “By my husband being more open, in part due to my honesty regarding how I was really feeling, he was able to share his perspective, his experience and his healing with other men,” she says. “He shared this initially as a social media post, which engaged men and women alike. Men supported him, and women thanked him and encouraged his honesty. Many said, “Thank you for sharing.’” This was just what Elita needed to hear as she dealt with her own journey of pain. Many more lives were impacted and people encouraged due to the sharing of his heart in these posts, as well as Elita’s own willingness to share her emotions. Alethea Morris Alethea is a volunteer and a 2021 writer for EnVision Proven Success. She was also featured in the 2019 edition of EnVision Proven Success magazine. KROGER REWARDS It’s easy and free to support EnVision Proven Success when you shop with your Shopper’s Card! The Kroger community rewards program can provide financial support to EnVision Proven Success workshops and services based on the money spent at Kroger stores by members enrolled in the program. By linking your Kroger plus card and shopping at Kroger, you help raise funds for EnVision Proven Success, while continuing to earn your own Kroger plus points and rewards! Register your Kroger plus card online at the Kroger community rewards website: kroger. com/communityrewards click on “enroll”. Follow the steps to create an account and link it to your Kroger plus card number. Enter our NPO number: TR744, or EnVision Proven Success and click on confirm. 34 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
WHAT DO WE DO? The Pandemic of 2020 What do I do? I listen to music. I read a lot. I study a lot. I pray a lot. In January, February and early March 2020, I heard about this disease that was causing so many people to die, but it seemed so distant and far away. As the death tolls began to rise in China and then Italy, I began to pay attention. On Friday, March 13, 2020 we were called into a meeting at work and told to go home until further notice, and that no one was being laid off. Unbeknownst to me, my daughter was experiencing something similar at work. They given largely the same message, but to take work and supplies home with them and to leave the premises. When she picked up her daughter from latchkey, she found out that the schools were closed until further notice. We decided to brave grocery shopping the next day and it nearly killed me. I literally took the rest of the day to regroup. Cleaning my body, gargling my throat, drinking hot tea, resting and doing everything possible to soothe my body from whatever it had encountered during our shopping trip to three stores and to the pharmacy. On Sunday, March 15, I went to my daughter’s house to help her to set up her home office. While there, we listened to Gov. DeWine’s broadcast about Ohio shutting down. I made the decision to go home and stay inside until further notice. As of May 15, 2020, I had only left my condo to retrieve mail or take out the trash. How has this affected me? I realize that there are so many things that I took for granted. Having the freedom to go to the grocery and select what I want to eat has been my biggest hurdle. My friends and daughter have helped by ordering groceries and having them delivered to me. I have ordered groceries and did not always receive what I asked for. At least I could enjoy free delivery of my prescriptions and free delivery of some items from the pharmacy. Being alone by choice is so different from being alone because you have no choice. I miss hugging and kissing my daughter and granddaughter. I miss getting together for meals. I miss being able to look at them and have real conversations. It is difficult to know how they feel or what they are thinking. My daughter’s father died on April 9, 2020. That was so challenging for her and me. I reached out to comfort her over the phone. I just wanted to drop everything and go to her and hug her. I wanted to let her cry in my arms. Instead, I had to distance myself from her. I know I have experienced fear. I have experienced doubt. I have gone through periods of wondering if I have the virus. I never had any of the major indicators of the virus, but I knew that I was high-risk. I really had to talk to myself about my health and ask myself, “Why did you allow your health to deteriorate like this?” I wondered why I did not talk to my medical teams about what I could do to eliminate every chronic disease that I currently have. In view of the current situation, I found that I was in every category of high-risk. I did not like that and felt like there was something that I needed to do. I began to research my books, my prayers and all of the spiritual educational materials in my possession, and asked God what I could do to help myself, my family and my friends. Before I could take action, my church started a national prayer line in which prayers were offered to all who desired them seven days a week and multiple times a day. This line has helped me tremendously. Shortly thereafter, I began to contact my relatives far and near to check on them. I contacted friends near and far and did the same. Eventually, I compiled a few prayers for health and well-being and sent them to those who I felt were most vulnerable. Today, I am taking it one day at a time. I am trusting and believing that we will survive this pandemic. I am trusting and believing that all will be well. I am trusting and believing that we will all learn our lesson from this event. Gerri Collier is a proud mother and grandmother of one daughter and one granddaughter. She is an avid reader and writer and has spent the majority of her life doing one or the other. Gerri has spent the last four years as a state volunteer and central Ohio team volunteer for AARP. She is a member of the Professional Women’s Group of Dress for Success Columbus. Gerri has earned degrees in Accounting, Business Management, Human Resource Management and Organizational Leadership, and Metaphysics. She is currently employed as a Business Compliance Auditor. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 35
Roughiatou Kumba Ngaide Achiever and Overcomer BY KUMBA M. LEBBIE Very early in life, Roughiatou “Rougie” Kumba Ngaide eveloped a desire to help her people, which she credits to her father’s emphasis on loving her neighbors. Her father, her first teacher, reminded her that “Islam is about service — not just praying and mosque, but an obligation to serve God, country and people,” and she vowed to do just that. The name “Roughiatou” holds a strong African meaning connected to humanitarianism. It is attached to those who are attracted to a cause or a movement — who are extremely idealistic, sometimes to the point of being naive. They have great compassion and seek to create a more humane society. They are drawn to those who suffer physically. They right wrongs. Their deepest intention is to transform the world. Her passion drove Rougie toward projects such as Thornwood Commons Community Center, which serves lunches families in need, and My Project USA, a Hilltop-based community initiative for which she serves as Muslim immigrant program director. Rougie has also volunteered with Dress for Success. She recalls the “phenomenal impact” that Dress for Success had on her, to the point that she joined the organization. She now serves as an international ambassador. Last year, she attended the worldwide legacy summer in the Bahamas, and this year, she’s running a community action project meant to serve women who have been uprooted from their home. Her services have extended beyond her Muslim religion to the Christian ministry, for which she has helped deliver food boxes to over 160 families a week. Her middle name, “Kumba,” is also a strong African name, strongly tied to serving community. Kumbas are known for their need to be independent and to direct their own lives according to their beliefs. That’s why it was an internal struggle when her husband wanted to move to the United States. She felt it was her duty as his wife to go, though, in so doing, she left behind all that was familiar to her, along with her passion for advocating for the Mauritanian people and serving her family. From her first day in the U.S., Rougie recalls feeling homesick. “I had a terrible longing to be back home. Anxiety, depression, helplessness,” she says. Though she was fluent in six languages, English was not among them. Her struggle to communicate disqualified her for she leadership roles she was accustomed to holding in her motherland. In Africa, she was a lawyer, activist, human rights educator and employee of a nonprofit focused on gender issues and youth empowerment. In the U.S., she could only find jobs well short of her qualifications. Still, her name told her that she held the courage and the confidence to lead others. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 37
This inner drive helped her handle a negative turn in her marriage in 2009. She shares that her husband was no longer the loving father and husband he once was. In Africa, Rougie says, a woman is expected to find her identity within the confides of her marriage, and the shame of a broken home is often borne by the woman. She was thus conflicted when her husband decided to stop working, leaving her as the sole breadwinner. “In an African home, the man stands as a man, always as protector and provider,” she says. Rougie’s self-image was wounded, but she managed to hide her true disappointment. She describes herself as a victim of financial abuse, which made it difficult for her to continue supporting her family back in Africa – a vital expectation for immigrants, as about 30% of all income earned by immigrants ends up back in their home countries. In 2010, Rougie miscarried her sixth child; her husband told her to “get over it.” Rougie convinced herself that everything was okay. “I couldn’t be depressed,” she says. “After all, we have been conditioned to say, “too blessed to be stressed.’” In Memoriam We honor the memory of these wonderful women and the mark they left on this world. Jennifer Kempton 2016 FEATURED WOMAN Stephanie Claytor 2014 FEATURED WOMAN Her drive to soldier on pushed her to create what she calls a survival mask. Under the mask, she uses her power to influence, and even to intimidate through sheer force, for good. Her natural authority drives her to play, teach, learn and grow. Her competence and enthusiasm attracts people with resources, as exemplified by Life Coach, a Christian cancer patients’ charity through which she helped raise $119,000 in three weeks’ time. Rougie naturally radiates confidence, which persuades people to defer to her. In all this, she always exudes a kind of controlled benevolence, which is what makes her truly a Kumba by name. Elizabeth Harris 2018 FEATURED WOMAN Crystal Adams 2020 FEATURED WOMAN Kumba M. Lebbie Kumba is a 2021 writer for EnVision Proven Success. 38 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE Karen Ezirim 2015 FEATURED WOMAN
EPS FEATURED RESOURCES Each of the women in EnVision Proven Success Magazine has sought assistance from nonprofit organizations. The following are some of the Central Ohio organizations that continuously make it their mission to give women a helping hand. To add your resource on our website, we just ask for a donation. Go to donate.kindest.com/ envision-proven-success to make your annual donation. For more questions, please email eps@envisionprovensuccess.org. We appreciate your support! COMMUNITY SUPPORT & CAREER RESOURCES Action Ohio Coalition Advocating for battered women & their families. 5900 Roche Drive 43229 1-888-622-9315 or 614-825-0551 | actionohio.org Central Ohio African American Chamber of Commerce (COAACC) (614) 377-4874 | coaacc.org Dress for Success Columbus 1204 N High St, Columbus, OH 43201 (614) 291-5420 | dfscmh.org Faith Mission Health Center MAT Program An outpatient program that addresses both medical and addiction services under one roof. faithmissionhealthcenter.org Greyhound Bus Main number: 614-228-2266 Greyhound customer service: 614-221-4242 Human Trafficking Hotline Call: 1-888-373-7888 ( TTY: 711) Text: 233733 Live Chat: humantraffickinghotline.org TWLOHA “You Are Not Alone” twloha.com/local-resources/ohio/columbus/ Find more resources at EnVisionProvenSuccess.com ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 39
Put an IMPACT Safety Course Next on Your To-do List Q&A WITH JULIE HARMON Julie Harmon, Ph.D., director of IMPACT Safety, loves to talk about the power of empowerment self-defense. She was ecstatic to share her perspective on the benefits of Empowered Self Defense. IMPACT Safety’s programs are unlike other self-defense classes in that IMPACT addresses interpersonal safety with this definition of selfdefense: “Self-defense is any time you make a decision to keep yourself emotionally and/or physically safe.” We practice emotional self-defense every day. This means understanding what we say yes to, what we say no to and why we say both. Answering the phone, deciding not to attend one more Zoom call, weighing all the options before accepting or declining an invitation or request. The mission of IMPACT Safety is to create communities where all individuals have the emotional and physical skills necessary to prevent violence, make safe choices and live with greater confidence. What sets IMPACT Safety apart from other self-defense programs? We teach empowerment self-defense skills, historically called feminist self-defense. We define self-defense as “anytime you make a decision to keep yourself emotionally and physically safe,” which already denotes a difference between martial arts and traditional kick-and-strike, “don’t go out at night” types of approaches. We teach in context of the participants’ lives: what, when and where does interpersonal violence happen, what systemic and cultural considerations does each individual consider when assessing an uncomfortable 40 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE or scary interaction, what is worth fighting for, and what verbal and physical strategies might someone prefer in any given situation. Interpersonal violence does not exist in a vacuum – it happens in context of systemic oppression, entitlement and patriarchy. The goals of every class, regardless of its length or audience, is to help every participant recognize that they natter enough to have, recognize and set their boundaries. Who is your target audience? Actually everyone, but if we have to narrow, it would be 1) vulnerable populations, identified by who they are – youth, the elderly, marginalized populations such as immigrants, women of color, LGBTQ, foster kids, teens, and people with disabilities; or 2) those who work in higher-risk professions such as home health, real estate, small business, social work, and people who leave the office to work, solo travelers, those who date and so on. Everyone is at risk for some type of interpersonal violence, though one in three women have experienced sexual violence in their lifetime, 70-80% before the age of 24, of which 80% have been from people they know. What are some of the courses you offer to schools, communities, businesses, etc.? 1. INTRODUCTION TO Empowerment Self Defense: Usually customized for specific audiences, e.g. women of color, real estate agents, girls’ night out, Girl Scouts, etc. 2. IMPACT: Ability: An abuse prevention program for those with disabilities 3. Own Your Own Safety: A comprehensive ESD program that covers everything. 4. On My Own: A course for those leaving home Are there opportunities to volunteer and/or donate? Of course. We have many needs and are always willing to match a volunteer’s interest, passion and growing edge to a volunteer opportunity. We appreciate partnerships in promoting and offering our work and we welcome donations of any size. impactsafety.org Tamani Lucy-Thompson
WHY SPONSOR ENVISION? Participants will receive leadership training for EnVision Proven Success, our annual publication. To be featured in the publication, the woman must have remained employed and recovering for at least two years. Participants lead a community action project. EnVision Proven Success, in partnership with other nonprofit women’s groups, will distribute the publication as a tool to help other challenged women overcome barriers and struggles. Participants are women from diverse backgrounds: single, married and in long-term relationships. They may or may not have a checking and savings account. Thank you for joining us to Be the Change! Through the network of support in our community, women empowered by EnVision Proven Success Columbus were able to an additional $1,000+ in their communities last year. We’re ecstatic about this progress, but there is so much more to do! In 2020, your investment made it possible for more than 500 women to own their next chapter. With your support, amazing women continue to share their stories and receive the career tools needed to succeed in work and in life. Thank you for empowering women and changing lives. EVERY gift is important! Donations can be made in monthly installments or in a lump sum. A woman ready to take her next step needs your support today! Please consider giving one hour of your pay each month to help more women achieve economic independence. As a bonus, with the following giving levels, we have some AMAZING incentives. Please visit our website, envisionprovensuccess.com, for details on how you can “Be the Change.” Thank you in advance for your support. Belle Harbour is a fully integrated real estate company which combines superior investment returns with professional management and execution. Improving is a technology management and consulting firm that provides training, consulting, recruiting, and project services. For more information, visit improving.com ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 41
HELPLINES & HOTLINES BY THE NUMBERS Poison Treatment & Advice Hotline Central Ohio (24-Hour) 1-800-222-1222 National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24-Hour) 1-800-273-8255 or (614) 221-5445 Mental Health Crisis Hotline Franklin County (24-Hour) Adults > 18 (Netcare): (614) 276-2273 Huckleberry House Runaway Helpline (24-Hour) (614) 294-5553 Emergency Shelter & Homeless Hotline (24-Hour) 1-888-474-3587 Food Kitchens & Food Pantries Central Ohio Monday-Friday 8am–4pm | (614) 341-2282 HandsOn Hotline for General Help (24-Hour) 2-1-1 or (614) 221-2255 Ohio Tobacco Quit Line 1-800-QUIT-NOW or 1-800-784-8669 Pregnancy & Prenatal Care Hotline Central Ohio (614) 721-0009 Rape & Assault Helpline SARNCO (24-Hour) (614) 267-7020 or 1-800-656-4673 Domestic Violence Crisis Hotline CHOICES (24-Hour) (614) 224-4663 National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800- 799-7223 (SAFE) Social security Administration 1-800-772-1213 or 1-888-741-1115 to report stolen card EBT card customer service 1-866-386-3071 Columbus Ohio Community Shelter Hotline for Single Adults and Families (614) 724-7000 BelleHarbour Management of Ohio Connecting women with affordable housing; Columbus Ohio 43229 | (614) 890-1479 More resources available by visiting our website, EnvisionProvenSuccess.com 5,300+ ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINES have been printed and distributed. 1,500+ WOMEN HAVE REACHED OUT TO EPS seeking assistance and network support for emergency and miscellaneous nonemergency needs. 200+ WOMEN HAVE BEEN REFERRED to partner agencies through EPS for assistance in meeting their critical needs such as employment, recovery, housing and mental health. 100+ WOMEN HAVE ATTENDED EPS WORKSHOPS on financial wellness, career readiness, board leadership and other life skills. Thank you to all past and present EPS magazine team members, volunteers, donors and sponsors for all your support. Special thanks to Grange Insurance Company, VOICEcorps, Clintonvillle Women’s Club and New Born Ministries — Pastor Charlie M. Davis Jr. 42 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
LASTING IMPRESSIONS Choosing Perspective We all have a story. Close your eyes and take a moment to think of yours. Picture your journey over the years, your frame of mind, how you viewed yourself and those around you. Would you believe me if I told you your perspective vastly dictates your reaction to things that have happened to you? Perspective is a choice, and it’s up to you each day to decide how it will impact your life. One’s perspective is extremely important to a happy life, relationships (with yourself and others) and your mental health. In times like these — when we are living through a pandemic — it’s easy to feel down. However, it’s in times like these that it’s essential to keep the right perspective. It took a life-changing event for me to understand perspective in a whole new light. It would be a defining moment in my life. Five years ago, when I turned 37 years old, I received a phone call from a close aunt. She insisted I come to her house immediately because she had something important to tell me. The worst thoughts went through my head. I anticipated news that my favorite aunt was going to tell me she had a terminal illness. After I arrived, I quickly realized it was not about her, it was about me. To make a long story short, that day I found out that I was adopted. The parents who raised me were not my biological parents. I was at a fork in the road. Perhaps you’ve been there, too. For me, I could choose to accept the news and make the best of it or be angry and let that anger fester and destroy me. It reminded me of the Choose Your Own Adventure books I read as a child. It occurred to me that the choice is up to me. What did I choose? I chose to accept the news and forced myself to look at it from others’ perspectives. From the lens of my birth parents, who — at a young age — didn’t think they could care for me properly and wanted me to grow up in a good home with people who could. I decided to see that they did the best they could in a tough situation and, ultimately, were looking out for my best interests. I chose to look at it that way instead of letting negative thoughts enter my mind. This was a choice I made, and since then, life has been full of joy. I’ve gotten to know my new family and we are very close now. I love them dearly and feel grateful I have the chance to build a future with them. “ My challenge to you is to remember that perspective is a choice. ” My challenge to you is to remember that perspective is a choice. You own that decision and can choose your own adventure. Try to look at situations from everyone’s perspective, as it can help shape your own. Think positively and look to the future, not the past. Carpe diem! NATALINA FICKELL Community Relations & Associate Programs Specialist, Grange Insurance Visit our website at EnvisionProvenSuccess.com to make a one-time, monthly or annual contribution — and to volunteer your expertise. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM | 43
The Central Ohio African American Chamber of Commerce works to encourage and empower African American owned businesses locally and abroad. For more information, visitcoaacc.org CareSource is nationally recognized for leading the industry in providing member-centric health care coverage. For more information, visit caresource.com Helping people restore their lives, Maryhaven is Central Ohio’s oldest, most comprehensive treatment center for addiction and mental illness. For more information, visit maryhaven.com We don’t look like what we’ve been through. ENVISIONPROVENSUCCESS.COM 44 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
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