be out of order, so just letting the tears come for however long they did was really beneficial,” she says. “Not even trying to put any words on it, just letting it happen, not like how we usually try to talk to ourselves about things.” She started out by acknowledging that she lost the baby. “I’m naturally a very optimistic person, and it is tempting to use that as a veil sometimes to keep moving forward,” she says. “So I had to really take that off.” Soon enough, she realized that putting all her energy into keeping it together wasn’t helping. By not being authentic, she says, she was actually doing her husband a disservice. She worried that seeing her not impacted by the miscarriage might make him think there was something wrong with his own reactions. “We eventually came together. I wish it would have been earlier, but everything is in its right time,” Elita says. When she saw how deeply impacted her husband was by the miscarriage, she realized part of the reason he was having a hard time moving forward was that he believed she had set the bar for healing and he needed to be there, too – even though she wasn’t coping nearly as well as she let on. CONTRIBUTE NOV. 30: GIVING TUESDAY We are incredibly proud to be a Top-Rated nonprofit and a part of the #GivingTuesday movement. Help us make November 30, 2021 a day to remember, please visit our website envisionprovensuccess.com to donate. Elita admitted to her that she didn’t have it all together. She told him about putting laundry in the washing machine and crying while he was sleeping in the mornings. She told him about the thoughts racing through her head while he shopped for groceries. Learning about Elita’s pain helped her husband be more open. “We were really able to break down the walls of emotional vulnerability that we did not even know existed,” Elita says. “By my husband being more open, in part due to my honesty regarding how I was really feeling, he was able to share his perspective, his experience and his healing with other men,” she says. “He shared this initially as a social media post, which engaged men and women alike. Men supported him, and women thanked him and encouraged his honesty. Many said, “Thank you for sharing.’” This was just what Elita needed to hear as she dealt with her own journey of pain. Many more lives were impacted and people encouraged due to the sharing of his heart in these posts, as well as Elita’s own willingness to share her emotions. Alethea Morris Alethea is a volunteer and a 2021 writer for EnVision Proven Success. She was also featured in the 2019 edition of EnVision Proven Success magazine. KROGER REWARDS It’s easy and free to support EnVision Proven Success when you shop with your Shopper’s Card! The Kroger community rewards program can provide financial support to EnVision Proven Success workshops and services based on the money spent at Kroger stores by members enrolled in the program. By linking your Kroger plus card and shopping at Kroger, you help raise funds for EnVision Proven Success, while continuing to earn your own Kroger plus points and rewards! Register your Kroger plus card online at the Kroger community rewards website: kroger. com/communityrewards click on “enroll”. Follow the steps to create an account and link it to your Kroger plus card number. Enter our NPO number: TR744, or EnVision Proven Success and click on confirm. 34 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
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