CHOICES gave Frankie safe transportation to and from work because her boyfriend had stolen her car. She got her work supervisor to help her file a restraining order so her boyfriend could not come to her job or anywhere else she was, and put his picture at the front desk. CHOICES also helped Frankie file for bankruptcy, since her boyfriend had disappeared with her car. He was eventually arrested when the police pulled him over with another woman, who he tried to claim was Frankie, and the car was returned to the creditor. After leaving CHOICES and moving in with her mother, she began a relationship with a former high school classmate. The relationship was so different from her previous one that she quickly fell in love and got married. Her husband took good care of her, they both had jobs and they socialized together frequently. Eventually, though, Frankie noticed her husband was spending more time away from her and their family. She ran into him at the grocery store holding hands with another woman, who he said he was giving a ride home. As time went by, Frankie would have a dream whenever her husband was cheating on her. He promised to stop cheating, but refused to go to joint counseling, and would continue to have affairs and disingenuously apologize when caught. Her husband’s paramours always seemed to know more about Frankie than Frankie knew about them, and would sometimes try to cost her her job. A few later apologized after realizing they were involved with a married man. Frankie sought counseling again to deal with the depression from her husband’s emotional abuse. On one occasion, Frankie’s sister realized one of her coworkers was dating her brother-in-law; the coworker was shocked to learn the man she was dating was married. The final straw occurred when Frankie left the state for a week to deal with a death in her immediate family, and returned home to a message from a woman who said that she was in love with Frankie’s husband and they had been in a relationship for six months. Frankie confronted her husband, who said he loved both of them. She forced him to make a choice, and he left, pushing Frankie into severe depression. Her husband would continue to stay with Frankie when he and his girlfriend had arguments, then go back to her. 28 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE Frankie’s emotional state was such that she was unable to work for an entire year. She stopped sleeping in her marriage bed and moved to the living room couch. She later obtained a part-time job to pay her bills and learned it was near where her husband was staying with his mistress. Driving by the house on the way home from work, she would lose her composure and do things to hurt them. She took all of her husband’s clothes from her house and left them on the lawn. She would knock on the door and try to have conversations with them. She says she felt as though the devil was making her do those things. Then light came again when Frankie joined a ministry called Sisters and Girlfriends in Christ (SAGIC). Group members met every Thursday to have conversations about their problems and then pray for one another. After she had spent some time in the group, she felt the Holy Spirit again, telling her to stop going after her husband and his mistress. She asked God for help, and he delivered. From that night on, she left the couch behind and went back to sleeping in her bed. The next year, she took time off to get herself together, raise her grandson and take care of her mother, who had become very ill. In the meantime, she filed for divorce. Her husband contested the divorce, then tried to take the house she lived in with her son and grandson. After a yearlong court battle, Frankie dropped the case and paid the court costs. Six months later, her husband filed for divorce himself. Frankie signed the paperwork, but had to pay half of the costs. After the divorce was finalized, Frankie and her sister went to a club to celebrate – where they ran into her now ex-husband and his girlfriend celebrating in advance of their wedding the next day. Frankie and her sister left the club before tensions could escalate. A subsequent return to counseling helped Frankie to understand the traumatic impact of her abusive 15-year relationship with her boyfriend, her gang rape, her 17 years of marriage to a cheating husband. She found peace in living a celibate life. She found freedom to say, “I can do bad all by myself.” During this turbulent time, Frankie she tried to make a plan for her future. She went to college to study to be a minister, but could not afford to complete her coursework. Instead, she became an entrepreneur with an online specialty gift shop. A hack of her website forced Frankie to shutter the business, but
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