peace. But the truth is, the relief never lasted. Even at my thinnest, dissatisfaction remained. My eyes would still land on my stomach, my arms, my face—always fi nding something to dislike. This cycle has played out again and again: dieting, exercising, reaching a “goal,” slipping back, and feeling defeated. Each time I told myself, this time will be different. But body dysmorphia doesn’t vanish with a number on the scale. The real battle has always been in my mind. Even now, I’m still working through it. Some mornings, I long to see myself through gentler eyes. I remind myself that the people I love don’t measure me in fl aws—they see a whole person. Some days I believe that more than others. Understanding Body Dysmorphia: The Invisible Battle with Our Refl ection By Angela Jennings, TSN Staff Writer Body image has always been a tender subject, tied closely to culture, identity, and the way we see ourselves. For some, dissatisfaction with appearance might pass quickly. But for others, the struggle is constant, exhausting, and deeply painful. This experience is known as body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), often shortened to body dysmorphia. It is not about vanity, and it is not something someone can simply “snap out of”—it’s a real mental health condition that can affect every part of daily life. What is Body Dysmorphia? According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), Body Dysmorphic Disorder is defi ned as a preoccupation with one or more perceived fl aws in physical appearance that seem small—or even invisible—to others. People with BDD often spend large amounts of time thinking about, comparing, or trying to hide or “fi x” these fl aws. The distress is real, even if the fl aw is minor or nonexistent, and it can make everyday living extremely diffi cult. At its heart, body dysmorphia isn’t about the body itself—it’s about the way the mind views the body. The mirror can feel like an enemy, refl ecting not truth but harsh self-criticism. This is why even major physical changes—weight loss, weight gain, cosmetic procedures, or style shifts—don’t always bring relief. The voice of dysmorphia lingers, always fi nding something new to critique. How Body Dysmorphia Manifests Body dysmorphia can show up differently for everyone. While weight and shape are common concerns, the disorder may focus on any feature: skin, hair, nose, arms, teeth, or even a fl aw imagined entirely by the mind. Some common experiences include: • Mirror Checking or Avoidance: Some people check their refl ection dozens of times a day, while others avoid mirrors entirely. Skin picking may also occur. • adjusting posture or hair. • with obsessive thoughts. • Mindfulness and Grounding: Practices like meditation, journaling, or grounding techniques can bring focus back to the present moment. • feelings of isolation. • Support Systems: Opening up to loved ones, fi nding support groups, or simply sharing the struggle can reduce Limiting Triggers: Reducing time on social media or curating a healthier digital space can help ease comparison. Excessive Grooming or Hiding: This might mean wearing oversized clothes, heavy makeup, or constantly Comparison: Relentlessly measuring oneself against friends, family, celebrities, or strangers on social media. • ment or desperation. • Compulsive Exercise or Dieting: Movement and diet stop being about health and instead become punishEmotional Distress: Shame, anxiety, and embarrassment can creep into everyday life. Some people may withdraw from social situations altogether. For many, it becomes a painful cycle: noticing a fl aw, feeling distress, trying to hide or “fi x” it, fi nding temporary relief, and then repeating the process all over again. Coping and Healing Healing from body dysmorphia isn’t as simple as deciding to “just love yourself.” It takes time, support, and often professional guidance. Some helpful approaches include: • Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), especially exposure and response prevention (ERP), has been shown to reduce obsessive thought patterns and compulsive behaviors. • Medication: In some cases, SSRIs (a type of antidepressant) may help Page 5 Recovery is not a straight line. It’s not about eliminating all negative thoughts—it’s about learning not to let those thoughts dictate your self-worth. My Personal Battle: Weight Gain, Weight Loss, and the Endless Loop For me, body dysmorphia has been a constant companion. My focus has often been on weight—the number on the scale, the way clothes fi t, the refl ection staring back at me. I’ve lived through seasons of weight gain, where I felt suffocated by the thought that everyone noticed and judged me. I’ve also lived through seasons of weight loss, believing that shrinking myself would fi nally bring Why the Fight Matters Talking about body dysmorphia is vital, because silence only feeds the shame. Too often, it’s dismissed as vanity when it is, in fact, a real form of suffering— one that can lead to isolation, eating disorders, depression, or even suicidal thoughts. Naming it for what it is allows people to seek help without guilt. Healing doesn’t look like suddenly waking up and adoring your refl ection. It looks like resilience, moments of peace, and separating your value as a person from your appearance. For me, it means accepting that even if the feelings don’t disappear entirely, I don’t have to let them control my life. A Path Forward Body dysmorphia thrives in secrecy. Every time we speak it aloud, we lessen its grip. Healing is slow, and setbacks happen, but progress is still progress. Whether it’s through therapy, mindfulness, writing, or confi ding in someone we trust, every small act of self-compassion matters. I am still on this journey. Some days I feel strong; other days I feel overwhelmed. But I keep moving forward. And if you know this battle too, I hope you’ll remember this: you are not alone, and you deserve kindness—especially from yourself.
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