Memorialization Memorialization Grief Interrupted Mourners navigating added separation imposed by pandemic turn to memorial items By Pat Dunnigan, Thumbies The rituals and ceremonies that mark the death of a human being undergo constant evolution and personalization to reflect the endless variety of beliefs, traditions and family preferences. The coronavirus pandemic took aim at all of them. From simple graveside services to the practice of gathering over a meal in a living room or a restaurant, the entire concept of “shared grief” has been a casualty of the virus in many ways, as fear of illness put people at a distance in a time more traditionally navigated through a showering of embraces and the comfort of touch. For the independent and family-owned funeral industry, the distinction has been acutely felt. “I feel horrible for the families,” said Brandy Osborne, office manager and second-generation family member at Osborne Funeral Home in Wiliamsport, Maryland. “People can’t do what they’re accustomed to doing.” Osborne notes that the separation and distancing that families are suffering throughout Pendants made from a three-dimensional fingerprint casting (photo provided by Thumbies) the grieving process is all the worse because for many, the separation began weeks or months earlier during hospitalization or rehab and care facility stays where the pandemic has left even close family members locked out. 8 www.ogr.org | Fall 2020 While visitations and funerals have resumed, social distancing requirements, travel hurdles and even limited restaurant capacity continue to impose separation among mourners. It’s a largely unprecedented challenge for an industry built on its ability to create the sense of occasion and shared loss that traditionally helps families through a difficult time. As in other businesses navigating pandemic challenges, technology and innovation have helped to bridge the gap in the funeral industry with the rise of Zoom funerals, drive-through visitations and the era of the audio-visual savvy funeral director – as comfortable wiring a church balcony for sound as he is managing the seating arrangements. The bereaved are also forging their own “traditions,” with purchases of memorial jewelry and other keepsakes that help to forge a tangible sense of connection with the person they have lost. Osborne says sales of “Thumbies” jewelry and keepsakes, embellished with a three-dimensional casting of a loved one’s fingerprint, have risen noticeably during the pandemic. “I think people are looking for more of a way to be closer to that person and to grieve in a different way,” said Osborne.
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