Phillip Ferguson, Painter, Entertainer and Consultant “I remember when I was younger, I didn’t know how to swim, I honestly I don’t know how to swim still. The day that my dad became my hero, I was floating on a device like a floatie. I was in a pool where the deep end was in the middle and on the side was the shallow end. The floatie alligator that I was on flipped over and I cried for help. I could only see people sitting around drinking champagne, and the music was loud. I didn’t feel like I could breathe. I thought I was going to drown and I kept screaming for help…...before I knew it, I heard a splash. I t was my dad! He had jumped in with his suit on. He pushed over to the side of the pool. Before anybody knew what was going on, it turned out that my dad could not swim either and someone had to use a pole to pull him to the side too.” – Phillip Ferguson mother and step-father, but it was never the same as having his father in his life. Though Martin is thankful for having a step-father, he learnt how to be a man by himself. Today, the father of two epitomizes everything an ideal father should be. “A father, for me, is someone who protects his family, leads his family and bears the burden first before putting that burden on his family,” Martin said. “When a young man grows up without a father, he does not have that blueprint or structure that shows him what fatherhood looks like and this could lead to shortcomings or shortfalls that could affect generations yet unborn,” Martin added. Ricky Martin sees that fact that he did not have his father in his life while growing up as one of the reason that he learned what not to do early in his life and he had to learn from watching other examples of good fathers around him. Besides death, incarceration of a father, being born to unmarried parents, or an irresponsible father the other issue which keeps children and their fathers apart is divorce or separation of the parents. The emotional pain and hurt of a father who cannot be in the lives of their children can only be imagined. Men who do not have the opportunity to watch their children grow, be there for them physically and emotionally, have to deal with not just the stress of their separation, but also the legal hurdles and sometimes drama, to have custody of the child or at least periodic visits. I spoke to a father who is currently in a drawn-out legal battle to be in the life of his daughter. One of such fathers currently fighting in court for the custody of his daughter is Phillip Ferguson. An artist and special events painter. Phillip makes people happy when he uses his artistic talents to paint couples at their weddings. But he is not a happy man himself right now. I interviewed Phillip who is out of state at the time of report over the phone about fatherhood. He had this to say about his most memorable experience with his own father: This event and others left an indelible imprint of what a father should be on the psyche of Ferguson who told me he will stop at nothing to be in the life of his little girl. For him, the very fact that his own father could put his life on the line to save him, is a huge lesson of sacrifice and love that only a loving father can demonstrate. Ferguson wants his child to grow up knowing that he did everything he could to love her and be there for her. “I want to prove to her that someone loves her unconditionally and would do anything to have her and also help her to see the right attributes in a future husband because I know that could be a hard pick in a world like this,” said Ferguson. For many fathers in Phillip Ferguson’s situation who are willing to be there for their children but are constrained by divorce, separation and legal hurdles, there are fears that they 37
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