I shot up the ladder like a rocket right to the top of the monkey bars with the confidence and energy of an Olympic gold medal gymnast! I could easily understand why seeing my mother may have brought a little confusion to my friends. You see, my mom is a light and fair-skinned African American, and my dark-skinned hue and ebony shade, inherited from my father, is the opposite of hers. My mother’s and father’s union produced nine children with a diversity of skin tones well reflected across the African American color palette. My mother is one of a kind and like none other. She was the friend I could share or say anything to, and she would always afford me the same in return with no filter or hesitation and always truthfully. From carrying me nine months, then giving me life, to raising a defiant, impatient, bright, and headstrong son who constantly challenged and tested boundaries, my feelings for my mother can be summed up in this quote: “For the world, you may be known as a person, but to me, you are known as the world.” She was my role model, a mentor, and she demanded a high bar of attainment for me and my siblings. My mother also did not let anyone (or ourselves) place limitations upon us. She constantly reminded us to never accept any barriers in life and to not let anyone define us. She raised my siblings to resist and be intolerant of designations or categorizations imposed or set by others upon us. And to believe anything is possible, especially when you have unyielding beliefs and unshakable faith. My mother believed in these things because she knew them to be true. She lived her life for ninety-two years defying the odds, climbing walls, knocking down doors, blazing new trails, and hurdling obstacles most people would have succumbed to, but no … not Reverend Franklin. Her will was unbreakable. She fiercely refused to let any condition be the justification to prevent her from the pursuit of something better. She did this constantly, for herself and her family. She was the first to receive a college degree in her family and went on to receive four master’s degrees—she knew talking about being better wouldn’t cut it, so she decided the only way to pursue this path she espoused was to be better. I remember as a young man my mother would always say to me, “Cleophus, we are all doughnuts. We have holes. I want you to also understand even the best and most popular doughnuts have holes too. So, don’t ever let the holes in your life be something to keep you down and prevent you from being what you want to be. Remember, holes can be filled, and always remember, if it is to be, then it is up to me! Son, you must plan for success, stay focused, and execute towards it. And never forget, if you don’t have a plan, then you will become part of a plan… and there is no fun becoming part of somebody else’s plan!” My mother was a strategist personified. She was always thinking ahead and formulating ways to succeed. She believed knowing was not the problem. She felt knowing was one thing, but once you know something, it is your duty to take action and do something about it. For her, not doing anything after having received the knowledge to change it or address it was criminal and unacceptable. With this perspective, my mother always identified and addressed any gaps she felt could become hindrances for herself and her family immediately! She was relentless in ensuring small issues would not become bigger problems, especially ones that could derail or minimize the chance for success in the life of her children. She was a woman of focus, purpose, and she would always say, “You can either pray for action or worry, but you can’t do both. The URBAN EXPERIENCE | 2021 23
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