10 GROUNDCOVER NEWS VALENTINE'S DAY Truth or lies: Mr. Lover Lover Content warning: This article is intended for mature audiences. Alonzo was singing “Mr. Lover Lover, I hope the girls don’t discover that I’m a Playboy undercover, that’s why I have to use the rubber.” Alonzo often hummed this song on his way to his next date. Upon his arrival, he would pop his trunk, and retrieve his condoms that were hidden under his spare tire. Alonzo stood 6'2" tall, was buff with a six-pack, was well-groomed with his hair always smelling good. He dressed with a different swagger. Alonzo had three phones; “I am such a playboy,” he thought. Yeah two phones were for the ladies and the other phone was for family and business. He stored them in his trunk under the spare tire. He used them every free moment, before and after work, always competing to get the win. He would often find himself in competition with his bros. Yeah, such an arrogant attitude he just knew he would always win, being so handsome, smelling so good and being intelligent, too — he couldn’t lose. This past week alone he went on a date with five different women. He and his bros always wanted to smash. It was three days before Valentine’s FELICIA WILBERT Groundcover vendor No. 234 He never thought that any of the girls would meet with each other or that he would ever get caught. He was in college working a job at Winnie’s grocery store as a cashier and bag boy. It was the month of February, and all the bros were laughing and bragging they weren't getting no one anything for Valentine’s Day. However, even though he laughed with the guys, Alonzo always bought the ladies a gift. He knew that was the way to keep the peace and get what he wanted. He would secretly purchase every lady he was dating a Valentine’s Day gift. He had a plan to make it simple: Alonzo would purchase each one of them the same thing. He figured that way he would never forget what he got for each lady. Day. Finally, he scored a date with Keisha, one of his coworkers. Alonzo had been asking her out since he started working at the grocery store. Keisha would warn him, “You play too much. No you won’t play with my heart. You know I’ll hurt you if you play with my heart.” Alonzo would laugh while saying, “Girl you know I wouldn’t hurt you. I got you, come on, let me take you out and show you.” Keisha finally decided to go out with him after six months of him begging. He took her out to dinner and a movie. They both had a joyous time. Alonzo asked Keisha, “Could we go out again? And can I continue to call you?” Keisha agreed, thinking that he was serious. The next day, Keisha was off work and decided to go to the mall to buy a new outfit for her next date with Alonzo. While she was in line at the store, she heard this very loud lady shouting at the phone, “Alonzo you better pick up the phone and call me back you user!” She couldn’t help but pay attention, because how many Alonzos are there? “That’s a rare name,” Keisha was thinking. She didn’t even notice herself drifting over towards the lady to hear more of the conversation. She could not help herself, she asked the lady, “Your friend’s named is Alonzo? That’s quite a different name.” The lady looked at her and rolled her eyes and said, “What’s it to you?” Keisha immediately humbled herself and said, “Oh, I’m not trying to be in your business, I just was noticing what an odd name that was.” The lady replied, “Yeah great name, but awful person. He must think women can’t be without him.” That loud lady, Simone, was next in line. The cashier heard the whole conversation and asked, “What did he look like?” Simone replied to the cashier, “Oh, he’s good looking — tall, six pack and well groomed.” “Girl, you need to sneak up on him on his job! That’s all you need to do,” Keisha said. The cashier, whose name was Kelly, replied, “Yeah do you know where he works? Don’t let no man play you.” Simone answered, “Yeah at a grocery store on Main Street.” Keisha and Simone both looked at Kelly and said, “Seems like we are all dating the same man!” see MR. LOVER next page FEBRUARY 9, 2024
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