What has changed? It’s seems simple enough to me. The internet has created a culture where people who are lacking in social skills, mentally mis-wired, or who are unacceptable in any other venue, to interject themselves into today’s mainstream social discourse. And the internet gives them courage and a forum where they are (they think) anonymous. Clearly, online communication has created a new nastiness in how the public communicates. And there even seems to be a disturbing trend among people who, seemingly reasonable in everyday life, become some kind of ugly alter-ego when they go online. And, now, sadly, this trend seems to have invaded our industry. You can certainly notice it in the discourse of some online industry groups, even when posters know they are being clearly identified. There seems to be a new set of rules regarding common courtesy and dignity that are degrading any useful discussion. And even some decent people are getting sucked into this vortex of rudeness. Responding to rude online comments or criticism. No one likes to be criticized. But it happens. And it’s easy to want to fight back. Especially when you are smarter or better informed than the critic and can easily shut them down. However, when you do so, you might be losing the battle and lowering yourself to their standard. Most times, your response is exactly what they are after. They crave conflict. They feel it makes them equal to you. Handling online baiting or criticism in a positive and healthy way is an essential skill we must develop to maintain our public image, sanity, and well-being in the internet age. View your response from the perceptive of others. How your critic views your response is irrelevant. They are trying to suck you into a confrontation or anger you. Don’t let them. Look at the conversation as if you were watching someone else having it. Would someone’s nasty response to an insult gain your respect or would someone taking the high ground be more impressive? Some strategies: -First, alcohol and internet do not mix. Many internet blunders are the result of the loss of good judgement from alcohol. Don’t create that nightmare situation where you wake up in the morning and have to start chasing down and trying to erase alcohol induced comments from the night before. (And sorry, everybody's already seen them). -Perhaps, you don’t need to respond at all. You don’t have to dignify low-life comments. Everyone else knows the offender is a jerk. They’ll find someone else who will engage them. Block them if you can. -If you do respond, do it with kindness and dignity. Act as if you didn't take offense at their comment. Point out the value of their opinion and offer positive suggestions. They’ll hate that. It’s not what they are after and it makes them look bad. 13
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