NB: “They’re passing a bill this week that outlaws ‘going out on a limb.’” SP: “Between the first results and the new data, uncertainty and grave concern has increased among parents over their children’s use of the term, ‘a fly in the ointment.’” And other times we write the completely absurd: NB: “Man falls asleep while waking up!” SP: “I’m getting rid of some old grudges, let me know if you want one?” NB: “Today I discovered that seagulls love us unconditionally.” SP: “Hey, by chance have you made lunch plans for Saturday, March 2083?” Strangely enough, these lines full of nonsense are actually very hard to craft. Sometimes months go by without either of us writing anything at all. Writing them well requires our minds to be pliable and very loose. No matter how hard we try, there are times we still get stuck in the literal parts of our brains and we cannot find a way out. SP: “Today critics sounded alarm over alarm that failed to sound.” NB: “The price of helium just went up.” SP: “I’ve decided to take a crash course in how to slow down.” Though there is irony in the three lines above, they don’t possess the absurdity of some of the others. But then sometimes our goal is to come up with lines that could be literal but aren’t: NB: “For Sale: Ceiling Fan, yellow and gray, blades come off at high speed, otherwise in good shape.” SP: “For Sale: Imaginary Chair, LIKE NEW! Send check or money order and within weeks chair will appear in your mind. Send one dollar for certificate of authenticity.” 11 Sometimes what we write is theme-oriented. A few years ago we began writing about imaginary rock bands: SP: “I heard the rock bands Claude Damnit and Type 2 Diabetes just signed with Capricorn Records.” NB: “Supposedly Voltage Drift is opening for Drove Pattern, and Steel Kludge and Rope Toner are playing at a bus stop in Downtown LA.” SP: “I thought they were touring with Box Turtle and Waking Forest?” And then sometimes we just write quick one-liners: SP: “I brake for wax moths.” Keep Reading »
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