8 EVERYTHING And she can say no, at any time, even after she may have said yes, or, even halfway, or even before/after that. Actually, the timing is her thing. And, so, if you still chose to be with us, you must train your mind, body and hormones surging to treat us as more than trophies or prizes for your suppressed, raging masculinity and mardangi that sadly, popular culture in India reduces to winning a woman over, chasing her on a motorbike, eve tease her in the name of 'cherkhani and not jhok,' and sing stupid songs to her/apply vermilion on her forehead. The ultimate act of saving. You see, women, our desires aren't that simplistic or superficial. You will have to respect our inertia, moods, viewpoint, lack of interest/vacillation, the pace we want to progress in and where we see the relationship progressing, pull backs. The same also applies with men, and, us. Sex according to me is a sacred act of intimacy. And, dear Indian men, who still marry to lose their virginities, and possess and flaunt a good-looking wife, and, child bearer, and someone to play along with Mummy Papa and the rest of the family, and, earn, and help in the EMI's and homework, please understand, this. We, and, our bodies - our lips, our ears, our necks, our cleavages, our breasts, our navels, our buttocks and our vagina, are much much more than simplistic sexual gratification, as and when and where and how many times you may so wish. Pleasure, needs participation. Equality. And, participation. Equally. And sisters, my twenty-something girlfriends, readers and younger women friends, if a man isn't taking no for an answer. Don't read between the lines or soak yourself in guilt that you turned him away. That he may leave you. Find a prettier, sexier, better partner. Be kind to your voice. Be kind to your mind. Be kind to who you are now. And who you are becoming. Find that small, quivering, at times, under confident, sometimes, practically inaudible voice. That is sometimes called gut instinct. In self help magazines. Find the godamn thing. For yourself. Forever. And when you do, fight for yourself, girl. Always fight for it! Even if you are risking rejection, humiliation, resentment, no sex, heartbreak, sadness, hell, even the possibility of being single. Which is as I can vouch for, may not be easy, but not half as soppy or socially outrageous as it is still made out to be. Or as dysfunctional as being trapped in a loveless/sexless/friendship less marriage or being straddled with kids you never wanted, to begin with. Your feelings mean something. Your feelings are everything. Repeat. Are. Everything.
9 Publizr Home