Vendor of the MonthMetaphorical Trust Fall By Claire McKenna If you have ever stopped to look at photos of the TSN vendors or popped your head into a meeting, then you may have had the same thought I did when I first started . . . what an odd, mismatched group of people. If you didn’t know that we all belonged to Toledo Streets Newspaper, then we probably wouldn’t think that we are a community. That’s why the vendor of the month is the community that binds the TSN team. It is often unspoken and subtle, but it’s ever present and strong. When I started at Toledo Streets Newspaper, I knew part of our mission was to foster community. I really liked that aspect because I feel it is often overlooked and undervalued at other social service agencies. I can understand why most grants and government funding doesn’t reimburse organizations for genuine connections and community building. It is difficult to measure and typically in order to get financial support you must show a measurable change. Page 12 But that is the beauty of what we do with your support. We can take the time to make those connections and build community without the red tape or bureaucracy. What I didn’t know was that it is almost impossible to help foster a community without becoming absolutely ingulfed in it. And trust me I tried. My educational background stressed the importance of boundaries and limited self-disclosure. I attempted to keep vendors at an arm’s length when I started. Not because I didn’t like them or value them, but because that was my understanding of how social services was supposed to “work”. But just like with so many other things, the vendors were quick to prove me wrong. Each one found a way into my heart. Together, they roped me into the community that I had foolishly believed I was creating. This community lifts each other up, holds each other accountable, cries together, celebrates together, and most importantly values each other. It is simultaneously the most beautiful, messy, wonderful thing that I have ever experienced. I was supposed to leave Toledo Streets once I graduated in December of 2019 with my master’s degree. But quickly that became staying until April when I had my private practice up and running. It is now mid-August and I am sitting in the TSN office writing this piece about a community that has forever changed me. It is the community that makes this “job” impossible to leave. I cannot imagine my life without Toledo Streets and its community that has embraced me. TSN is powerful because of the moments of vulnerability that community creates. We meet each other without judgment, simply as humans. This is where real change is made. I think often times people think that money is the biggest barrier for someone experiencing homelessness and that is certainly a part of it. But every single time that Toledo Streets has helped someone obtain housing (14 vendors and counting) since I arrived over a year and a half ago, it is because they opened themselves up to our community. They did a metaphorical trust fall even though many had been dropped so many times before. But together, as a community we caught them and held them for as long as it took for them to find their footing again. This unseemly group of misfits has changed and improved lives. All they ask is for vulnerability and realness and that is at the essence of our little TSN community.
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