Essay: Hippity Hoppity Rabbit Haters and Their Ways by Mayr Boros I love rabbits. I live in a city where rabbits run freely. Since I moved to St. Paul, I have found that not everyone likes them as much as I do. Some people (in fact, some of my neighbors) spend an inordinate amount of energy on the hatred of the darling little critters. And of course, they freely share their disdain of one of the most beloved creatures I have ever encountered. One evening last summer, I took a walk in our condo’s community garden. The lovely, mild mannered lady in the condo directly below me was outside and offered to give me a tour of her small but healthy garden. Her garden was pristine — not a weed in sight. She proudly pointed out the lilies from Peru, the five varieties of heirloom tomato plants, the half-eaten kale stems and the still-blossoming peas. Her sudden outburst of “Those damn rabbits! They chewed off my peas,” took me aback. I mean, the sunset that evening was one of the prettiest I’d seen all summer. The rabbits were nowhere in sight. Did she think that they would hear and then alert the other rabbits in the 'hood? “Hey guys, my ears are back on this one. That condo lady hates us. Better hop to it and sound the alarm. Geez, all that human hatred kind of gets me out of the flow of a good chew, no matter how good those peas look.” But like a good neighbor, I said, “Gee, that’s too bad.” What I really wanted to say was, “Ever thought about planting something rabbits don’t like?” Or, “There’s this thing called a fence.” My French horticulturist neighbor from across the street also surprised me one day with his disdain of the cuddly trespassers. He is an avid gardener with a humble knowledgeable soul and much to share. (He also has an accent that I could listen to all day.) He and his wife raise orchids and bonsai trees inside, safe from the rabbits. But his yard is not rabbit proof. “I haaaatee deze rabbeetz,” he told me one day. “I want to smash their heads and keel them.” So much for my French accent infatuation. According to the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources, “Rabbits cause damage by consuming desirable plants or portions of these plants and gnawing the bark during the winter months.” A “Minnesota law allows landowners or occupants to take rabbits that are causing damage. In such instances, rabbits can be taken without a license and in any manner except by poison or artificial lights in the closed season.” So, Page 74
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