Because it was preached from the pulpit and lived in the pews, that normalized it in your mind in adult relationships. OR COURAGEO Like most Blacks, you grew up poor. Oh, maybe at first you didn’t realize it because you had friends, or lots of fun in your neighborhood, or great block parties, or innovative parents…but at some point you looked around and said to yourself, “me and everybody I know or grew up with had nothing”. This Washington Post article reminds us that “When one system of economic oppression collapsed, new ones were created to fill the void.”7 When a poor child grows up, the LAST thing they ever want to meet up with again is poverty. A fancy chart with pretty colors was even created, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, that really helps bring this into focus8. The lowest part of this pyramid, the foundation, the part you gotta pass before you can climb higher - that part includes a human’s most basic needs being fulfilled. A Black woman who lived in poverty will make sure she never ends up without those met again - and certainly will not abide those needs not being met for her children. That’s not you being paranoid, an overachiever, no; that’s what Looking to see whether he sees one of these 3 goodies that will usually work on a Black woman to establish a connection (that is if he’s a predator): 1. Emotional connection - what is she nostalgic about or deeply emotionally connected to or emotionally driven by that he can feign the same connection to 2. Religious connection - what higher being principle(s) is/are she religiously loyal to that he can either pretend to care about that he can use to control her later or simply take notes on and use to control her later 3. Fulfilling a desperate need - what is she worried EVERY Black woman you watched as a child and that you know as an adult will never let happen either. Therefore, it’s normalized. Fast forward. You grew up and became a woman. Now remember, we’re talking about how abusers establish a connection with the Black woman that allows him to lay the groundwork for future, that’s the keyword, future, abuse cycles with her. You’re a grown woman. You meet a man by chance - only it’s NOT chance. He’s been studying you.
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