he would begin these discussions with a phrase: “Son, I need you to listen to me as it’s time to teach you something,” followed by “so get ready for a talk as I need you to listen and I am only going to tell you once.” I can assure you that after these brisk and short discussions, there was never a need to gain or seek additional clarification afterward as he always played it straight down the middle—no matter the season, situation, subject matter, or people involved. This frank approach was acquired and passed down to him by my greatgrandfather through a legacy that exists today. My great-grandfather’s name was Jim Moore, and his family as well as those who knew him called him Papa. Papa took a liking to my dad and taught him well. In fact, my father spoke softly and proudly of Papa in those rare times he would share with me stories of him and how he would use situational teaching to make a point and make it stick. My dad learned from Papa how to judge a man by what he does versus what he says, which he defined as a man’s “say-do ratio.” Papa took my father with him to various places where business was done, as my father watch in order to understand the dynamics of people engaging with each other and how they conducted themselves throughout every transaction. Papa would afterward quiz my dad and ask him pointed questions like, “OK, son, tell me who you think was the boss or leader and who thought they were in charge versus who is really in charge?” or “Who was listening intently?” or “Who was the most serious businessperson?” and “Who was the more effective communicator?” Across all these interactions, Papa had my dad observe with full attention. Lastly, Papa would ask my dad to identify the men who were all talk with hollow words and those who were men of action. My father never quoted Ben Franklin, but his philosophy, I am certain, was developed by this experience with Papa and is best summed up by one of Ben’s quotes, which is “Well done is better than well said.” So, I am honored to share with you four short and simple lessons to contemplate, ponder, and reference from a man who called it and played it straight every day of his life. 1. Don’t worry about being perfect. Focus on being present in life. Each day, no matter how difficult your day may be or the challenges or hardships you will face, make sure you not only spend time with those you love but do so with your full engagement. Now, don’t get me wrong. My father did not spend an inordinate amount of time with me, but when he did, he was fully focused and gave me his full and vested attention. His time spent was without distraction because he was there with the purpose of giving what he could, which was his time. Because he knew, one day to come, he would be gone, and he wanted to use his time with me wisely to ensure I was ready when it was time for him to depart from this world. My dad understood that time is life’s most precious commodity. As with each day, time is something we lose, and we never gain more of it no matter how long we live, so make darn sure you use your time wisely. Takeaway: “The time we spend on the pursuit of perfection does not compare to the time we spend being present with those we love.” —C. Franklin Jr. 2. “Sugarcoating the truth with those you love may sound sweet, but those words may rot your teeth.” = C. Franklin Sr. This is a hard one as it is easier said than done—what you say (no matter how true it is) can cause hurt and pain, and no one wants to do that to someone we love. As they say, the truth hurts! I think we all can agree that the truth sometimes can sting, bring us to our knees, and stop us in our tracks, but my goodness, when we hear it—we know it and recognize it immediately. I admired my father’s unlimited reservoir of truth-telling, as he would often (and unsolicited) call you out with accuracy on demand! When I was growing up, I used to think he had no sympathy or
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