As she listened to the speaker, Courageous Fire, she watched in amazement when the speaker pulled up a photo called the Power and Control Wheel.3 As her eyes moved around the spokes of the wheel, she realized she had begun to tear up. How in the world could this wheel developed by people she had never met be able to record so many details of her and Kenn’s relationship? How could this wheel have the answers to her prayers when she begged to know “what’s going on??” As she now listened, enraptured by the loving, matter-of-fact, yet hopeful way Courageous spoke of domestic violence (DV), she latched onto one thing in particular. Courageous said she was reading from a workbook called Empowerment through the Arts™: “I started remembering. Remember the strength of my independent thinking. Remembering the brilliance of my intellect. Remembering the power of my talents, gifts, and natural strengths.”4 “Wait a minute!” Sundaya thought to herself. And suddenly, she heard her mother’s voice clearly beginning to speak her name’s powerful meanings back to her once again. As she continued to listen, she heard the woman say next, “I started thinking futuristically. Considering the cost of my life continuing in the same pattern years into the future.” Sundaya realized 5 years of her life had already passed by with more sprinklings of emotional5 verbal6, financial7 , and digital8 in her life than she’d like to remember. As she thought of the cost of her future with Kenn’s abusive behavior still in it, she shuddered. Then, right on cue, she heard Courageous say, “we just opened our first Community Safe Space. A confidential place where a Black woman who now realizes she is being victimized can do her safety planning. All you have to do is call me to get connected to it. , abuse9 happening Sundaya looked at the number in the presentation and memorized it. She knew she’d be in touch with Courageous and would be taking her first steps that day in taking back her future. Now Sundaya is 32, and in a different state in many ways. Kenn just wouldn’t back off even after they no longer lived together, so part of her plan is that she moved to a completely different state. She is also in a different state of mind - not just back to her original strength but has even more strength now. She believes every single thing her name says she has and is. She has a fresh start. She has herself. And that for her - is more than enough. Last month, we talked about abuse reparations - making it pay you back. This month, I definitely want to help you remember who you are, think about what you want in your future, and use that to fuel safely doing what you can to move toward your desires. You more than deserve it, Sis. And we’re here to help. 1. Check our brand new blog: Blog Link 2. In a relationship? Make sure it’s healthy: Healthy Relationship Wheel Illustration. Or go to TheHotline.org, or Phone: 800-799-7233 3. In an abusive relationship? a. Call us to get connected to a Community Safe Space to begin safety planning, 515-428-0077 b. At the Community Safe Space, talk to The Hotline.org to commence safety planning 4. Survivor and stable in your new life? Sign up for Empowerment through the Arts™; avoid future DV cycles: Survivor Support 5. Community member want to learn what you can do? Go to: Awareness Talks & Community Safe Spaces 6. Want to financially support the work? Donate Here Blessings. #Permission By Courageous Fire DV Advocate & Founder of Courageous Fire, LLC
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