She was so used to making excuses for and defending his behavior to others, but Debbie’s question made her ask herself about her own apologies to Trey this year. Ebony went into her private space in the house that was for sewing and cleaning - she knew he’d never go there - and began mindlessly scrolling through Facebook4 . As she wandered through the tear-blurred pages, she saw an ad for Courageous Fire, LLC, and the work being done for Black women and DV (domestic violence)5 . It was so empowering, uplifting, positive, and the spokeswoman and founder’s name was actually Courageous. Ebony was intrigued. The next day at work, Ebony found a private spot to go to and called her. She wasn’t even sure why, but Ebony found herself asking questions. She soon found out Courageous was a survivor herself and dedicated to helping Black women identify lesser4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Courageous Fire, LLC Facebook page What is DV? Archives from NNEDV.org Digital Stalking definition provided by TheHotline.org Article on Hotline.org, “Create a Safety Plan” Safety Planning definition provided by WomensLaw.org Stalking/Cyberstalking page on WomensLaw.org Know the Laws in Iowa page on WomensLaw.org DV stats from Assets.SpeakCDN.com Empowerment through the Arts™ is a program made specifically for Black female DV survivors of abuse at the hands of their male partners. It incorporates the healing empowerment of art, music, Black sisterhood, traditional therapeutic techniques, as well as guided discovery of predatory relationships planted within foundational learning. CFireLLC.com/specialty known forms of DV that ensnared her. Courageous said according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, what she was experiencing was actually stalking - digital stalking (a form of DV): the use of technology and the Internet to bully, harass, stalk, intimidate, or control a partner. This behavior is often a form of verbal or emotional abuse conducted online6 . She gave Ebony the hotline number with 24/7 availability and lovingly encouraged her to use it, assuring Ebony that the professionals there could guide her to knowledge and safety. Ebony loved the man she met a year and half ago, but had to admit to herself this man bore no resemblance to that man anymore. She called the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The trained professional: ● confirmed that she was being emotionally abused through digital stalking ● told her they could help her with safety planning7 : a term often used to describe a plan of actions that can help keep you safer from an abuser8 ● gave her a list of agencies in her local area that she could access to fulfill parts of her safety plan, including an online resource to help her understand how to leverage the law for safety on WomensLaw.org910 It staggered Ebony when the professional told her 76% of women murdered by an intimate partner were stalked first, and that ¼ of stalking victims commit suicide.11 She now knows how serious stalking is, so she’s determined to walk out her safety plan. Part of her plan is that once she is safe and completely out of danger, she wants to know how she got here in the first place. Courageous told her about what sounded like an incredible, free opportunity called Empowerment through the Arts™12 that seemed to be able to do just that. Ebony
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