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MAY 5, 2023 HOMELESSNESS Homelessness = Rebirth MOHAMMED AHMED Groundcover contributor "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal" — Earl Nightingale As I was standing there on the smoking deck of the Delonis Center, having a cigarette, thinking about the tornadic downhill spiral that is my life, silent as I continued to delve deeper into my sadness about all that I lost, a beautiful Soul approached me and calmly said to me, “STOP CRYING OVER YOUR PAST LIFE SO THAT YOU CAN ENJOY THE NEW ONE WHICH YOU GET TO WRITE.” We are biological machines functioning on bio-organic matter as fuel, being propelled forward by thoughts interpreted through electricity running through our nervous system. Somewhere in there, there is a mind and a soul and a consciousness and a personality. This amalgamation we call a human being is sitting on top of a round rock (THE EARTH) that is circling around a huge burning ball of nuclear fire (THE SUN). And yet somehow we forget all of this and get hung up on small things like missing a bus, or not achieving a goal or an objective. Houselessness is somehow making me into a better human, man, husband, father, lover, protector, provider. I am amazed at the human spirit, because in the midst of the houselessness and despair and hunger and have-not, I was still touched by individuals who had less than me offering me what they have. GOD it feels good to be human. The things I have gained from houselessness are immense, but the most profound has been ridding myself of judgmentalism — of basing my opinion on people solely on my physical perception of their physical attributes or their attire. This happened in the most awesome of ways, as I was sitting there sipping a coffee in Starbucks, looking out of the window at the snow, wishing I could go outside and make a snow angel. A young Caucasian gentleman walked into the cafe; from his appearance and attire I automatically judged him to be a drug addict. We exchanged glances and I meanmugged him hard; he left and went outside. As I continued gazing at the snow, I saw the same individual I had just judged to be a vagrant drug addict shoveling the snow off of the sidewalk out of the goodness of his heart so that those using the sidewalk wouldn’t slip or fall. He did not care that they had homes or better lives than him, and even though he was struggling and homeless, he still wanted to help and be of value to society and humanity. This simple act of kindness on his part made me shrug with shame at having judged a fellow human being, and that sense of shame made me not want to ever again judge another human being based on my own perceptions of reality. To be honest, I grew up in a dysfunctional home. As an immigrant American, raised in a different country, different culture and different ethics, it has been extremely difficult to manage assimilation and understand who I am. For what it's worth, I am just happy to be a human experiencing humanism. “A Mind is a terrible thing to waste” — I did not care for that phrase until I experienced houselessness. After having to deal with houselessness and seeing how my mind reacted to ensure my survival, man, I am amazed. Without houselessness I would never have quit drugs. Being on the streets and having been assaulted while intoxicated has led me to value my sobriety and my consequent situational awareness and situational alertness. Losing out on so many opportunities due to simply being too stoned on indica edibles made me angry. I kept getting angry with myself for letting financial and life improvement opportunities just pass me by. Now I am no longer seeking mind-altering substances, but I will vouch for the therapeutic and medicinal and mood-enhancing and reflective effects of microdosing psilocybin mushrooms. While I won’t be missing any hard drugs, I am no longer so attached or dependent on marijuana. It was a crutch that served me well, and then negated my potential. I am: • valuing my family — seeking to be a better man, a better father, working hard and diligently and honestly to provide a better set of circumstances that will ensure that my children have a much better and more organized life than mine and what I have endured. • valuing hard work and cooperation, valuing people for who they are, seeing the good potential and the ability to do good even in those who have hurt me or caused me misfortune —doing God's work on earth and making sure the devil fails: • being thankful, being appreciative, being forgiving, leaving the door of mercy and forgiveness open to those who recognize their faults and are seeking to apologize and reconnect; • realizing my current value, and addressing the need to add skills to add value to my life; • realizing that I have lost nothing, because the life that I have now is what was meant for me and it is awesome. We humans are all awesome, the more we seek to differentiate ourselves from each other, the more we come to realize that we have so much in common. It is not us who determines the sweet variety of humanity, it is mother earth that does. The geography of our physical locality, its trees, fruits, flowers, and fauna determines the cultures and traditions we have, the cuisine, the music. It is why nations such as India, China and most Asian and African countries have vibrant, colorful tangible traditions and culture — because of the songs of the birds and the bees and the smells and so forth. The temples, the art works, the engravings, the museums, the history are because mother nature there provided a variety. It is for the same reason that the Arab Bedouin in the desert has a more intangible culture, and is more inclined towards immaterial intangible emotions such as brotherhood, respect, honor, poetry and storytelling. It is because his habitat is based on the sea, sun and sands of the desert. We humans are good at adapting, that is why we are the "primus inter pares non” species on this planet. Houselessness has allowed me to forget who I am, and rediscover who I want to be: Respecting myself for all that I have accomplished in the face of all the circumstances that I have faced. While I know that there are tougher individuals out here in the world than me, who have faced and defeated greater demons, that still does not take away from my story and battle. Having been through tough times, I know now how to prepare for them, and how to take them on: • Loving myself for who I am, and appreciating my story and its uniqueness; • Loving my fellow humans, understanding that we are all the same, we feel hunger, pain, yearn for love and laughter and acceptance, see REBIRTH page 11  GROUNDCOVER NEWS 5

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