JUNE 2, 2023 PRIDE Hidden struggles of asexuality As our society becomes increasingly aware of the prevalence of sexual harassment, one particularly vulnerable group’s experiences still remain in the shadows. Asexuality is defined as experiencing little to no sexual attraction to any gender. While being asexual is completely natural, the misconceptions surrounding the identity cause many people to view asexual people, or aces, as broken or less human. As an asexual person myself, I’ve witnessed this dehumanization countless times and am now striving to document asexual discrimination, which is called “aphobia.” In February 2022, I posted a form titled “A Collective Look on Aphobia” to my aromantic, asexual TikTok, where over 3,000 asexual and aromantic people reported experiencing various microaggressions. The most concerning result was that 15.3% of respondants reported experiencing sexual assault specifically due to their identity. I found this shocking and couldn't believe I hadn’t seen anyone discuss this massive issue. I decided to interview one of these individuals to get a better perspective on the sexual harassment that many aces face. Julia (she/they) began experiencing sexual abuse long before she learned that there is a word for her identity. She described her encounters with a family member who “took advantage of a lot of my naivety and my ‘not feeling very sexual' to try to educate me in ways that were not appropriate.” This experience of “educating on sexuality” isn’t uncommon for asexuals and is often used as a tactic for abusive partners to excuse their actions. Julia also shared her struggles in college, where men are notorious for sexual misconduct. “I've had men get really confused and upset when I’d be romantic with them but RACHEL BRAUN U-M student contributor not be sexual with them,” she explained. These issues only increased once Julia realized she’s asexual and started disclosing her identity. Many people claimed that asexuality isn’t real or that she must have a physical or mental disorder. Even partners who said they were willing to date an asexual person later tried to coerce her into sex or claimed they could “fix” her. “I was dealing with expressing boundaries and then having those boundaries ignored or invalidated,” she said. She also mentioned that this violation of boundaries was more painful than her previous experiences because it felt like a direct attack on her identity. Julia later shared an encounter with a man she met at a festival. Despite clarifying that she’s not comfortable with anything beyond kissing, she was physically overpowered by him. “He grabbed me and pulled me down to the couch and started trying to engage more sexually,” she explained. When she repeated that she’s asexual, he started shouting and accusing her of being a liar and leading him on. Julia was eventually able to push him away and escape, but many aces aren’t so lucky. In fact, “corrective rape” is one of the main forms of conversion therapy used to “treat” asexuality. I also asked Julia if she has trouble SHELTER from last page “I'm sure it's still a flawed process,” Johnson said. “I would definitely say that the shelter is no exception to all of the harassment and bullying that trans folks have to experience.” Many trans people feel that the best option would be opening a shelter specifically for homeless people of the LGBTQ community. The reason there isn’t one currently is mostly because of lack of funding. “As far as trans and queer friendly shelters in the Southeast Michigan area, there's not very many options for us,” Dunn said. “We do face housing discrimination unfortunately, and even at the time that I was homeless, it was still legal to deny and evict someone just because of who they loved, or who they were. I really think that what I would like to see, though, is the grassroots organizations like the LGBTQ organizations working with the homeless.” Purple House, which currently offers shelter for homeless people in Washtenaw County during the coldweather months, had a short-term summer program in 2022 called the Lavender Project that offered finding support as a survivor of sexual abuse due to their asexuality. She explained that many people treat her differently from other survivors because they think her sexuality needs to be corrected. Furthermore, she isn’t able to utilize support systems provided by doctors, psychiatrists and therapists because they assume her sexuality is a result of her experiences. She explained, “A lot of my trauma does get written off as ‘you’re like this because you’re traumatized’ rather than ‘you’re traumatized because you’re like this.’” Julia’s experience with medical professionals is common within the asexual community. The pathologization of asexuality forces many people to lie or avoid doctors and therapists, furthering the lack of visibility for sexual abuse. Julia’s message for people who don’t believe asexuality is real is, “Everybody is having their own experience, and your experience is not universal. Leave people the space to live their own lives.” Julia’s experience is just one out of millions, but it gives significant insight into the struggles of asexuality. Between the sexual coercion, medicalization and lack of visibility, being asexual can be an isolating and terrifying experience. Julia and I agreed the best action that can be taken is improved education. By educating about asexuality, we can create a future with greater acceptance, visibility and safety. As Julia said in her closing remark, “Asexuals have always been here and have always been experiencing discrimination for who they are, and the only way we’re gonna make things better is if the queer community works together as a whole to educate and live our lives as brightly and vibrantly as we can.” GROUNDCOVER NEWS 5 transition housing specifically for LGBTQ people and women. However, the program was only temporary, and most residents either transitioned to permanent housing, moved back to Delonis or elsewhere when the program ended September of that same year. Both Johnson and Dunn said that they would be happy to see more programs like this one in the area. “I was lucky when I was homeless that the Lavender Project was running,” Dunn said. “If they were to have something more permanent like that, that would be wonderful.”
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