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4 GROUNDCOVER NEWS RECOVERY From addict to recovery advocate – Marcus Pollard’s redemption story JOHNATHAN GLASS Groundcover contributor Marcus Pollard is using his first-hand experience with substance use disorder to help people in his community recover from the ravages of addiction. Pollard spent four decades feeding his appetites for money and power in the drug game. Today, after a series of hardlearned life lessons, he fights addiction in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti community as a recovery coach with Home of New Vision, a mental health and substance use disorder clinic. While it’s common to stigmatize the addicted, the reality is that addiction is a disease, and drug use is one of its many symptoms. Many drug users are either predisposed to drug use genetically, or they self-medicate because of a chemical imbalance in the mind — often there is a problem in both departments. Those who suffer with a use-disorder tend to be brilliant, creative and lovable. Pollard is being treated for a chemical imbalance, and it was that imbalance that made getting off drugs so difficult for him. It’s a vicious cycle of struggling to survive for Pollard and many, many more like him. People who suffer from the disease of addiction, irrespective of the form it takes (food, drugs or sex), have been to hell and back. These people deserve love, understanding and prayer, not judgment. People who use drugs often have a spiritual nature and believe in God. Pollard believed in God from a young age. As a part of his beliefs, he believes in fate, essentially a pre-written existence where whatever will be will be. Pollard recalled, “I always had God in my life. My mother and grandmother prayed for me every day. I’m living proof of the power of prayer.” He went to church four times a week in his childhood. At an early age Pollard recalls playing Jesus Christ in a church play. He wore a crown of thorns, carried a cross on his back, complete with blood. This early memory was more than playacting for Pollard. For him, he had a spiritual, almost mystical connection to God from then on. According to Pollard, God saved him from every trap. Pollard stated, “I’ve been shot many times, and I’m still here. God kept me around for a reason.” Pollard acknowledges that his lifestyle was not one of a “normal” Christian. And yet, Pollard relates to the story of the Prodigal Son. The Prodigal Son was a young man who did everything wrong, spending the family fortune on loose living, but when he came home to his father, he was taken back into the family as if he had never left. The Prodigal Son is a story of redemption. Oftentimes, people who struggle with a use-disorder have no idea what they’re getting into. The cheese in the mousetrap is always free. But if a drug or alcohol user doesn’t end up in prison, an institution or the graveyard, and he asks for help, he can and will recover, if he is willing to work hard at it. Reflecting on his early days of “dope slinging,” Pollard said, “My crew and I were all like-minded guys. We operated with the tools at our disposal. Selling drugs was the norm in our community. I was a product of my environment.” The year was 1983, and Ronald Reagan was the president. The War on Drugs was beginning to gain traction in America, and Pollard began experimenting with cocaine and cannabis. First he took the drug for the buzz, and then he sold it. He said, “When I began drugging and thugging for real, I didn’t run out of steam for several decades. “You have to understand, we didn’t think about the illegality of what we were doing, that didn’t enter our mentality. Drugging and thugging was our lifestyle and it was what we did to see the next day. I liked it, though. The adrenaline from the power was better than the drugs we sold. I was untouchable for a really long time.” It was a trusted family member who introduced Pollard to cocaine and marijuana. At the time, Pollard lived with his grandparents, and the family owned a couple drycleaning businesses in town. Pollard was often sent to the business to help out and learn about making a living. Little did Pollard’s grandfather know, ‘Uncle Tony,’ who ran the family’s drycleaning business, had a hidden heroin addiction. Pollard’s uncle Tony not only turned Pollard on to drugs, but taught him how to flip drugs and to get ahead financially — even if starting out with $20, he showed Pollard how to make a small fortune. In an ironic twist, Pollard learned to make a living from his time with his uncle at the drycleaners, just not what his grandparents/guardians had in mind. A few years later, Pollard’s uncle fatally overdosed. When asked what Pollard would say to this family member today, if he were still living, he said, “Two words: thank you.” When asked why he would express gratitude for being introduced to a life of crime in his formative years, Pollard stated, “I had to go through addiction to get where I am today, and to do what I’m now able "The only way for me to keep my sobriety is to give it away to those still sick and suffering in my community." — Marcus Pollard to do. It was training for the life I now have.” Pollard’s life today is objectively better than ever; nevertheless, it was hell before heaven for Pollard. He said, “I had a lot to learn, and many of those lessons were painful.” When asked to use a single word to describe the dope game, Pollard said, “Destruction. It destroys your responsibility, it destroys your social values and peer relations, it destroys your dignity as a man or woman, and in the end, it destroys your very soul. The game loves nobody. Everyone who plays the dope game loses before it’s even over; it’s an unwinnable game. The prize is nothing but a figment of the imagination. The only lasting prize you’ll get is death, institutions or jail.” Pollard later stated that he regrets the lost time, lost relationships, lost friends and thousands of missed opportunities. He said, “I needed to catch up on life. And I’m busy playing catch up every day which is a consequence of my choices.” Pollard reflected that while he “got away” with a life of crime, having never been to prison, he did suffer the consequences in his spirit. He said, “I was drugging and thugging with the children, and grandchildren of the guys I started with in the 1980’s. That was a wakeup call to get my life together.” Another wakeup call for Pollard was when he was jailed for a charge in county lockup. When in jail, he got news of his beloved grandmother’s terminal illness. He said, “Because of my lifestyle, I couldn’t even bury my grandmother who had given me so much love. I really felt a certain kind of way about that.” When he got out of jail, he didn’t know what to do. Pollard reports that he went twice as hard in the dope game after his grandmother’s death because of the regret and grief. He said, “That was the darkest period of my life. I didn’t care anymore about anything or anybody. I stayed in that mode for about ten years.” Then there was a ray of hope. Pollard was court-mandated to attend a drug treatment program. He recalls resisting the process at the time, but chose to complete the program to avoid jail. About that he said, “That treatment program probably saved me.” He completed rehab and didn’t get his life together right away. Recovery isn’t linear. It’s a dance of two steps forward and one step back. But over time, Pollard’s experience with rehab planted the seed for getting clean for good. In 2022 Pollard had had his fill of the lifestyle that had defined his existence for nearly 40 years. He chose to get checked into Spera recovery in Ann Arbor, where he was treated for 30 days, and then he went into transitional housing for six months. It wasn’t all smooth sailing. The first six months were rough for Pollard. He said, “I was at the end of the earth, the point of no return, with a dark storm-cloud overhead every day. I was confused, not knowing if I was coming or going most days. But you never know when the moment of recovery will hit, because one morning I woke up and felt good. Just like a miracle my life was on a new trajectory. I was really curious to see if it was even possible for my life to turn around. I was in uncharted waters. And my life has been significantly better ever since. I’m 1,000,000 miles from where I was. I can’t believe I have a journalist writing my story in a presidential suite paid for by work. I never dreamed this would be possible!” Today, Pollard works as a licensed Peer Recovery Coach with the Home of New Vision, Ann Arbor. He said, “The only way for me to keep my sobriety is to give it away to those still sick and suffering in my community. I sold a lot of drugs in my community, and I have a strong desire to dismantle the monster I helped create.” Pollard loves doing community outreach with his work because he enjoys seeing the faces of those who used to do drugs with him, who see he’s turned his life around. He said, “I love showing my community that real change is possible.” Change is possible. If you or someone you know is struggling with a use disorder, help is out there. In Ann Arbor, there is Home of New Vision, Dawn Farm and others. A simple Google search can change your life. DECEMBER 27, 2024

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