Rougie’s mother, a strong and very resilient woman. Rougie’s father, Elhadj Ngaide with the first president of her country. Young Roughiatou (Rougie) Ngaide in her first year in America. In 2010, Rougie further stumbled when she miscarried her sixth child; she was devastated. Her husband’s reaction: “Get over it.” Rougie convinced herself that everything was okay. “I couldn’t be depressed,” she says. “After all we have been conditioned to say: “too blessed to be stressed.”” In denial and objecting to medication, Rougie maintained the facade that everything was okay. She maintained a successfully radio station where she gave advice about injustice to fellow Mauritanians. Her suburban home, three thriving children and productive lifestyle portrayed to the world that that everything was wonderful. Yet on the inside, Rougie was in a downward spiral. During this period in her life she was not able to make sense of all that was happening. She was without answers as to why life had dealt her an unfair hand. Detached from her husband, the loss of another child and fear of embarrassment, she sunk into what she recognizes today as depression. Though she made every effort to continue her radio station broadcast, go to work and nurture her children, she felt that she was losing her mind. She was embarrassed by her feelings, because she was conditioned to believe that people like her do not suffer from depression. It took a long time for her to admit that her feelings were real and that she was suffering from — what she now understands — post traumatic stress disorder. Rougie began treatment for her depression. She learned about the disease and was for the first time, felt comfortable talking about her true feelings and her struggles. Rougie says that it was “eye opening” to know why she felt the way she did: “It was a relief to have a why with how I was feeling.” Unfortunately, those around her did not accept her diagnosis and were not supportive, especially her husband. So, she found herself relying on medication to suppress her feelings in hopes of making her feel “normal” again. “ It was a relief to have a why with how I was feeling. ” Over time, she began relying on her peers in the program, who shared in her struggles. She realized that these positive relationships revived what was dying on the inside of her. “This country made me feel welcome. People here are the best people in the world,” Rougie says. She was blown away with the amount of people that provided services to her without wanting or requiring anything from her in return. It was not long before Rougie began volunteering for the same resources centers she visited. She says that she gained more than just tangible items such as food and clothes; she obtained a new sense of self. She developed relationships and renewed her confidence. Low and behold, doors began to open for her. 8 | ENVISION PROVEN SUCCESS MAGAZINE
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