IN YOUR OWN WORDS WHAT’S NEXT? BY RAELENE JOHNSON, VOICE VENDOR AS MOST OF YOU KNOW, I was in a car accident in February. When it happened, my face hit the airbag, and my car was totaled. (Oh by the way, when the wreck happened, I was on my way to my second chemo treatment.) My adrenaline kicked in, and 1½ hours after the crash, I was getting my treatment. When I went back for my third chemo, I found out that people at the center where I get my treatments had been talking about me. They said they couldn’t believe how strong I was. They couldn’t believe that I was able to walk that well as I went in for my second chemo. No one, not even my doctor, could believe I was able to make that second appointment so quickly after the accident. One minute, I thought, “I got this,” and then, after my third chemo treatment, I discovered I was experiencing negative side effects of the chemo – neuropathy in my left hand, which made it numb, and a blood clot in my right hand. I’m not used to not using my hands. I had to go to the hospital for antibiotics, which they gave me through an IV drip, followed by a week of taking antibiotics at home. (If I’d known about this side effect, I’m not sure I would have started chemo, but it’s too late to be sorry. I just have to deal with it.) Losing my car was hard enough, but my new phone was also destroyed in the wreck, and I had to pay $100 to replace it. I also found out I had to pay $900 to get my belongings out of my car. I didn’t have the money, so I lost everything that was in there. As all of this was going on, I discovered there was a water leak somewhere in my hot water tank. I also found out that my daughter had to have surgery, and even though she doesn’t live far from me, I wasn’t able to be with her because I had no car. Knowing my baby was going through such a painful experience and that I could not be with her hurt. At least she knows I would have been there if I could. Living in the country, where there are no buses or other transportation is hard. Also, because I don’t have a car, I am not able to go out and sell the Denver VOICE. You can’t have anything if you don’t have money, but this is another thing I have to accept and learn to deal with. Another reason I cannot go out is because I am going through chemo. Cancer can make you lonely, but you have to be careful and not be around people. I love talking to people, lifting them up, and putting smiles on their faces, but I’m doing the best I can to keep a smile on my own face. It’s hard on cancer patients when we feel so alone. I can at least say I love myself, so being alone is okay. At least today it is. I have a car again, and I’ll be happy when I can drive it, but first, my right hand has to heal because the car is a manual, and you can’t shift gears with a hand that is numb or swollen. As I write this, I have one more chemo treatment to go, but I don’t know what will happen after that. In mid-April, I will have surgery for my other medical issue, so more time has to go by without me being able to work, and I’ll have to go through too many months without money to help me get through this. Good thing I don’t need much to get me by. Worrying over all of the things that are happening to me will not change anything. All I know is that I will deal with it. I have no other choice. I am grateful for the few friends I have. When you have been alone and without friends, once you get good friends, you make sure you don’t ask much from them, so they don’t feel you are using them. I guess being a giver makes it hard RAELENE JOHNSON. CREDIT: KAREN BEEMAN to receive, at least it is for me because I’m not used to it. I’m still working on knowing I am worth it. If you are reading this and know anyone going through cancer, please check up on them or call them. Ask if there’s anything you can do for them. Even a simple phone call lets them know they are not forgotten. In the meantime, I am grateful for the support so many of you have given me. Please continue keeping me in your prayers. I will keep on fighting. ■ BUILDING A FUTURE BY LANDO ALLEN, VOICE VENDOR OKAY, TODAY, I WANT TO PUT MY THOUGHTS ONTO PAPER. I’ve got to put my plans on paper because I don’t want to fail at the stuff I want to do. I want to tell you who I am. My name is Lando. I am a broken man. I feel like my life has been taken from me, one way or another. I thought I would have gone crazy by now, but it seems like I still got some fight in me. I’ve already told y’all that I want to go to a warm climate, and I mean it. I’ve also told people that I want to build a houseboat. I’ve got to start working on that. Right now, I feel like I need to take my time. There is the LANDO ALLEN. CREDIT: JESSE BORRELL life I want to live, so, I’ve got to save some money for that. I’ve been homeless for 20 years off and on. It’s not because I drink or was on drugs. I don’t do any of those things. A lady gave me some advice a long time ago. She told me to quit looking for a girlfriend and to stay focused on my homeless problem. I didn’t listen. I believed that two people that get together could make each other’s lives better. I was wrong. I thought people who are on the streets were trying to make it. I’m not saying that everybody on the streets is trying to get off the streets. I’m just talking about a few. Sometimes, I wonder what these girls [living on the streets] are thinking. Me! I would be grateful if somebody who is [also trying to get their life together] came into my life. Building a future is something I take seriously. I’ve got to get a new career going. I’m already trying to sell my paintings, and I am starting to do music again. I was in a story on 9News that featured the Denver VOICE and my paintings. I also have a website (lando-paints. squaresite) and have sold 10 paintings already, but I know I’ve got to work harder. I’ve also got to start working on my houseboat. I watch people get old and try to work. I don’t want to be that guy working when I get too old. I still believe in love, but I’ve got to be more careful about who I meet. I want a future when [love] comes into my life. ■ 12 DENVER VOICE April 2024
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