IN YOUR OWN WORDS I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN 50 YEARS AGO BY RAELENE JOHNSON, VOICE VENDOR WHEN I WAS 16, I was in so much pain, I tried to commit suicide. I felt so bad and had no one to talk to, so I took a combination of sedatives and painkillers. After swallowing them, I ran from my parents’ house and through the woods nearby, so that I couldn’t be found. I just wanted to die. When they went looking for me, my sister pointed out the direction that she thought I would take. By the time they found me, most of the pills had already dissolved in my bloodstream, and my stomach had to be pumped. (To this day, I have not gotten over that feeling of having my stomach pumped.) After that, I was committed to a psychiatric ward for 10 months. And back then, mental health care was not good. The hospital didn’t know how to handle someone with all of my problems, so they released me. I had to suffer for so many years because no one would even look at me to help me. But deep down inside, I knew I could not attempt suicide again. RAELENE JOHNSON. CREDIT: CORTNEY TABERNA It has been 50 years since then, and I’m glad I survived and was brought back to life. If I had died, I wouldn’t have had my children or nine grandkids. I also wouldn’t have my eight great grandbabies. (My ninth great grandchild will be born towards the end of February!) I thank God today I’m alive! If you are in pain and life is hard for you, GO GET HELP!!! Today there are so many different ways to find the help you need. Once you take your life, it’s over. Problems seem bigger than they really are. I’m here to tell you I love life today. It took me so long to get here, but I have to keep asking for help until you get it. You are worth LOVE – both selflove and the love of others! Once you get past your pain, you can be a light for others. That is the reason we go through pain, cause once we overcome it, we can help others. PLEASE GET HELP if you need it! You can’t come back from death, and you may miss out on the joy that living brings – once you ask for help and receive it. ■ WE NEED FUNDING FOR BETTER MENTAL HEALTH PROGRAMS BY LANDO ALLEN, VOICE VENDOR IN 2004, CONGRESS PASSED A BILL to give tax breaks to the rich, which were paid for by funds that had been used for mental health programs. At that time, I was trying to get back to working as a nurse’s aide. It was a career that I enjoyed and spent years doing. When the Democrats took control of the House, they took away that tax break, but the bill didn’t include funds for mental health care like before. I remember the first time I was homeless. I was in Atlanta and met this guy from my hometown. After talking to him, I thought he was pretty cool. I ended up going to Tampa Bay to find work. I was gone a year then came back to see the guy in Atlanta. But he wasn’t the same person, and he had obviously lost his mind. I knew that people can [lose their minds] on the streets, and I wished then that there were places for him to go to find help because he was such a cool guy. LANDO ALLEN. CREDIT: JESSE BORRELL After a year or two, I was going through my own mental health crisis. I had a daughter, but I had lost touch with her mother and didn’t know where my child was. I was sitting in a motel, watching my friend, as he was going through an illness that caused his death. I woke up to a phone call from his employer telling me that he had to be at work. When I passed my friend the phone, I saw that he was no longer alive. That was a blow to me. I didn’t know that my friend was so sick. I think he wanted to die. I know there are times I have felt the same way, so, when I got to Denver, I found a place to go to for my mental health. But I thought to myself, how many cities don’t have resources for mental health? Can you imagine how many tragedies could’ve been avoided across America if we had access to better mental health resources country-wide? Well, after all these years, and with all I’ve shared here, I believe that we need to ask Congress for funding for better mental health programs. ■ 12 DENVER VOICE February 2023
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