IN YOUR OWN WORDS BACK ON THE STREETS: HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER BY JOHN ALEXANDER, VOICE VENDOR so many homeless, who may form their own families and communities, but when it comes to interacting with people outside of their communities, they remain invisible. ■ This “Back on the Streets” piece is in homage to Brian Augustine, who passed away in January. When he died, Augustine was writing a monthly column about what it was like to return to living on the streets when he could no longer afford his rent. Through the end of this year, various VOICE vendors intend to contribute something in honor of Brian Augustine’s legacy. SINCE COMING TO COLORADO, I have learned the importance of having self-worth. I learned to care about myself to the point that I will not let anyone ever tell me I am stupid and can’t be anything – that I have nothing useful to say, or don’t know anything, so I should keep quiet. Well, let me tell you, you should never believe this negativity or let it stay in your head. You can do whatever you want to. Only you can stand up for yourself. If you hold onto the mean or hurtful things people say about you, over time, you will believe them. I have learned not to keep those kinds of words in. BE YOUR BEST SELF BY RAELENE JOHNSON, VOICE VENDOR JOHN ALEXANDER. CREDIT: GILES CLASEN HERE I AM, BACK ON THE STREETS… AGAIN. I spent much of my summer – off and on – as part of one of Denver/Lakewood’s so-called tent communities. I was literally spending time with many homeless people – on the ground, in vacant buildings, parks, vacant lots, vacant tents, working cars, junk cars… you name it, I claim it. All of these were filled with other people (and all of those people there were homeless). I began to know these homeless people – meeting them, living amongst them, caring for and about them. Some times were happy – many of those times were sad ones. Living every day with each of them, learning that some had gone to jail or to the hospital – and finding out that many of us were NEVER coming home – even if that “home” was back on the streets. With homelessness comes sickness and lots of addiction, but nothing in the world is more deadly than the combination of drug addiction and alcoholism. When people are evicted from their homes, they often become homeless. Homeless people face all the hardships of life, and they are forced to live and cope with every hardship every day. During July and August, I spent time with a homeless family – a mother, a son, (whom I saw very little of), and a daughter, who wasn’t more than 17. Both the mother and daughter were drug-addicted, but the girl’s addiction was the worst. She took drugs in all the different ways possible. She popped pills, snorted pills, shot pills and heroin. Several times I was asked to watch over the girl until she got better. The only thing that happened a lot during this period, and something I still do not understand is how the police made many stops at the different camps and places where I would be – but the police never said anything to me. I would catch them, looking at me from a distance, but they didn’t approach me. I heard them ask someone else, “Who is that guy?” or “Do you know him?” Maybe they recognized me from vending the Denver VOICE. Maybe they’ve seen my photo in the VOICE’s marketing materials, but not once did they talk to me. They would carry on just like I was not visible…. This experience of being back on the streets – even if for a little while – reminded me what it is like for ILLUSTRATION BY GIGI GALEN Words can lift you up or break you down. It is up to us which we choose. I have learned to believe in myself. When you are so broken and you can’t see anything but the pain you feel, there is no hope for you – only pain. I have learned to forgive myself for staying in the pain for so long. You may do drugs and alcohol to kill the pain, and for a while, it may work, but in time, you become a slave to the drugs and alcohol. Loving words are better than hateful words or actions. We need to look around and see who we can help. If you aren’t able to help others but need help yourself, get help right away. Don’t wait to get help, or you could end up dead. There is no shame in asking for help. Things from our past can hold us hostage when we grow up! If you get help, you can have a beautiful life. Take my words to heart because I have my best life now! I have so much self-worth that I will not allow anyone or anything to take away my happiness ever again. At some point, you need to let go of all the stuff that is RAELENE JOHNSON. CREDIT: CORTNEY TABERNA holding you back. Only when we let go of the negative can we have a better life with less pain. I can’t tell you how important it is to get the help you need. Love yourself enough to better your life. You are worth it! ■ 12 DENVER VOICE October 2023
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