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Article by: Shannon Wu Photos by: Theresa Le The first time I heard about suicide was on the Sunday morning news. “We thought he was fine.” The five words whistled against my ear as I gravitated towards the rough fabric edge of my leather chair. Unaware of the situation, I glanced at my mother who was aggressively pecking at the keyboard, while muttering her thoughts. “God forbids you to make a decision similar to what he did,” she quietly spoke, clearly disturbed. My mind hastily filled in the blanks about the decision he made. A high school mathematics competitor, a philosophical Chinese American and an influential college sophomore named Luke Tang died from suicide. But if you searched his name on Google, you would see that the headlines read: Harvard Faces Wrongful Death Lawsuit Over 2015 Student Suicide. Several more trickle down and are structured in a similar fashion: As Student Suicides Rise, A Harvard Case Opens New Questions About Schools' Responsibility. Although he drowned his thoughts into diaries, the cause of Tang’s suicide was difficult to find. While the results were roaring, there was silence in the stressor. In order to construct a sound argument, we need to address the suppression of mental health issues in AAPI communities from a young age. Asian Americans share a tendency to go out of our way to fulfill our immigrant parents’ wishes. But where does this stem from? Some claim it is the filial piety tradition, or a theory of Confusian ethics which emphasizes respect towards parents. Others say it is to compensate for the failures associated with immigration. But in reality, it’s a mix of everything. In Racial Melancholia, Racial Dissociation, psychotherapists David L. Eng and Shinhee Han use race theory to outline changes associated with “immigration, displacement, diaspora, and assimilation” through comparisons of psychoanalysis cases on specific individuals from Generation X and Y. In the study, Eng and Han demonstrates how the model minority myth shapes the repressed identities of second-generation Asian American immigrant children. By generalizing academic and economic success with flawless social lives in Asian Americans, people who do not fit the ideals of a “model citizen” are estranged to only become associated with the word failure. Along with the fear of not being able to conform to this stereotype, we are to endure this conquest of achieving a life without defeats, to make up for their parents’ hardships. As a result, a perfectionist becomes the highly preferred attitude to show to family members. Eventually, our education becomes an extension of our household life. In order to achieve academic success, we gravitate towards high achieving peers, forgetting that vulnerability and honesty can go further. The fear of being excluded draws a wall against mentioning anything out of the norm, transforming our fakeness into withheld secrets. The direct causation in the model minority myth and stigma against mental health sees the rise in suicides of younger generations. We experience an exhaustion of crafting ourselves to expect to know everything, to accomplish alone, to excel in every role, to set impossible standards, and handle everything with ease from school and home. There is no buffer period where we get to be honest with someone else about ourselves, beyond the identity of being a perfectionist. A step towards destigmatizing mental health is to hold those conversations. Layout by: Krisha Konchadi and Minnah Tanzeen

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