18 • June 24-25, 2020 NATIONAL • CHILDREN Continued from page 11 dent, said. “It’s something that they’ll have to know.” Craig and Denise Dragash of Carmel, Indiana, felt the national conversation forced them to discuss current events with their adopted son, 11-year-old Vaughn. Denise said he “wanted to hide under his blanket,” something he does when he is uncomfortable. Cindy Neal, who has adopted three Black children with her husband, Paul, said the couple fears their advice on dealing with police might not matter. Their oldest, Belachew, is a tall, athletic 14-year-old young man -- no longer a cute toddler. As they wrestle with these issues, these parents know that helping their children has prepared them to help the white people around them better understand Black people and their challenges. And now, they say, white people finally are listening. Matt Porter is the pastor at Victory Family Church in Newcastle, Oklahoma. He and his wife, Julie, have adopted Paul and Timothy, both age 11. Matt Porter said white people have dodged these issues for too long. “I think it’s natural to say, ‘If it doesn’t affect me, it doesn’t bother me. I’m going to mind my business, I’m going to keep my head down,’” he said. “You don’t get to do that. If you call yourself a believer, you don’t get to do that.” The learning process at times has caught these parents off guard. The Neals recall telling their son not to play hide-andseek with their white friends in other people’s yards for fear of how it might look. “I had no clue what we were getting into with the racial dynamic of America,” Paul Neal said. “I knew that there were white people that did not like Black people. But I didn’t realize what was coming.” Phillip and Christen Rowland of Oklahoma City adopted their son, Jackson, in 2018. The day it became official, the family celebrated by spending time at a mall in Norman, Oklahoma. Relatives proudly wore T-shirts commemorating the occasion. A security guard put a damper on the experience by breezing past them to question Jackson. “It was like, that moment I realized,” Phillip Rowland said. “We’re all in matching shirts, and you’re going to pull this crap? I had seen it (racism), but it was so much different having it be my son.” When the couples encounter issues — from figuring out Black hair and skin care products to helping their children understand how to deal with racism — they often lean on a network of Black friends. Yet, they know The Porter family is pictured at their church Friday, June 12, 2020, in Newcastle, Okla. From left are Timothy, Matt, Julie and Paul. The family lives in a small, mostly white town.(AP Photo/Sue Ogrocki)Izzy six years ago. (AP Photo/Sue Ogrocki) those conversations won’t cover all the bases. They educate themselves because they recognize that sometimes, their friends also are struggling. “Especially when things are as heightened as they are now, (Black) people need to take care of themselves emotionally and may not have the energy to give anybody else,” Cindy Neal said. bransonglobe.com The Rowlands feel this movement is largely about kids like Jackson, and they have made a point to teach him to stand up for himself. Christen and Jackson recently marched in a peaceful protest with a diverse group of friends on a sunny afternoon in Oklahoma City. “To tell everyone and to show everyone that it’s gone too far,” Jackson said.
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