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I’LL BE THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE! BY BRIAN POLK YOU KNOW HOW A LOT OF LEFT-LEANING PEOPLE STOPPED CHECKING THE NEWS BECAUSE THEY CAN’T STAND WHAT’S HAPPENING THESE DAYS? THAT’S EXACTLY WHY I STOPPED CHECKING MY BANK ACCOUNT. Much like the news, I know there’s nothing good happening in my bank account. So whether it’s listening to the horrors on NPR or soberly assessing my dire financial situation, I know that I’m fucked in all manners of living. So why confirm it? I kind of enjoy the ambiguity of not knowing. It’s kind of like Schrödinger’s cat — except if I’m honest with myself, I know that cat is deader than dead. But I feel like if I don’t see it with my own eyes, maybe the cat’s still alive? (Also, apparently I need a refresher in object permanence.) No. 151 IF A PERSON I MATCHED WITH ON A DATING APP DOESN’T RESPOND IN 24 HOURS, THAT’S PROBABLY A BAD SIGN, RIGHT? There used to be a stigma attached to online dating. Back in the late 90s/early 2000s, if one of your friends admitted to meeting their partner online, you would secretly judge them for being both nerdy and desperate. (I suppose sometimes you would outwardly mock them if you had that sort of relationship.) So now that I’m an old, whose worldview was shaped before I had a computer, cell phone, or access to the internet, I still find the concept of meeting someone online to be a little silly and sad. And it doesn’t help that I’m also really bad at it. For example, I will match with someone and message back and forth for awhile, but then it never gets to the point of meeting in person — so CHRIS AUSTIN, KING STREET PASS - @CHRISAUSTINART

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