Up near DERBY in the far flung NORTHWEST TERRITORY From out of the tall brush Came the wretched Stinking YOWIE Like if cheese, meat, mold and death Had a baby The YOWIE pounced with Such fury the tiny Lizards scampered into puddles They had all made in Fear of the commotion The YOWIE took one look at The tourists and snatched one Up like a gummy worm from out Of a fine glass container His last wail was a muffled Kerfuffle of vowels and screaming bloody Murderous howls as his head and neck Collided with the gaping maw Full of rotten teeth squeezing Calories from out of BARRY The leader of the troop pounced Into action as well and curled up In a ball thinking he was in JURASSIC PARK and that the YOWIE Might possibly behave as a T-REX And perhaps NOT SEE HIM if he was to NOT MOVE and BE STILL BUT OH MOTHER LEMME TELL YA NOT A GOOD LOOK The YOWIE being utterly perplexed By having never seen an ARMADILLO ROADKILL skid down The tarmac and back again With its armor sufficient but ill-suited Against the rims of the 18-wheelers of steel The YOWIE stepped back with a RIGHT HOOF and PUNTED GORDON Clear on the other side of the creek He too made sounds as he careened Screaming before being IMPALED upon a Post of the ghost of the RABBIT-PROOF FENCE That was left for all the bunnies And tiny mites to DIE looking for water That was impossible to find and Become OUTBACK morsels for BUZZARDS GORDON had splattered And BETO and BEN prepared for YOWIE combat The remaining troop RAN towards the creek s Speaking in tongues that MORMON MISSIONARIES spoke too When they came to hunt the YOWIE For the church of something something something ZOO-A-LOGICAL arcade But the YOWIE was said to have eaten them too All while leaving one SOLE SURVIVOR to feast on its Blazing hot people FECES as the YOWIE Pounded the ground and found little solace In the pitiful human shoveling filth down Like HOT DONUTS from the bakery BACK IN DERBY The troop tripped and dodged WOMBATS And DINGOS and WINGOS and blue-haired ladies Angrily waiting to play BINGO As the eyes of GOD looked down On the muddy creek bed and giggled and Pretended not to send the CROCS to Beat out the YOWIE and gobble up the remaining survivors and Leave him to battling the JAWS That love a meat sickle of any size, shape, color or flavor But the YOWIE was hungry So he grabbed the biggest CROC and Thumped the shit outta the other two Biggest ALPHA CROCS SPLATTERING the first one’s Face into the carcasses of the people They had all too briefly enjoyed eating The CROCS gnarled their terrible teeth, claws and eyes at the YOWIE Before spinning back into the creek To swim up the way and look for another Bit of meat just up the corner and around the bend again The YOWIE grabbed what slabs of protein His mighty paws could hold and snatched them all up clean Lumbering off while sneaking wee bites Of what had been IKE as the light slowly Falls on the OUTBACK and DERBY and the Disastrous excursion the troop had so Delivered to the YOWIE Like a whole roast DUCK in a PAN A meal is a meal is a meal is a man in the OUTBACK mistake house … DERBY, NW TERRITORY 2:16am YARDIE HOD NYC 7.12.24.0000003 FOLLOW FOR MORE: IG: @UZIEGO | TUMBLR: @SAVAGESNEVERSLEEPNYC
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