IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE BY BRIAN POLK UNREAD LIBRARY BOOKS, UNUSED DENTAL FLOSS, AND A PRISTINE YOGA MAT ARE ALL REMINDERS THAT THE ME OF THE PAST WAS HOPEFUL I WOULD SUDDENLY BECOME SOMEONE WHO READ A BOOK A WEEK, FLOSSED REGULARLY, AND DID YOGA Unfortunately, I have some bad news for past me. I feel like we all have a lot of faith in our future selves. It’s as though we acquire aspirational products in the belief that having things changes our identity. It’s like the time my friend bought an elliptical so he could cancel the gym membership he never used. He figured the reason he didn’t work out is because he couldn’t make it to the gym. In reality, he owed his lack of No. 143 exercising to the fact that he’s just not the kind of person who likes to break a sweat. The proximity of gym equipment had nothing to do with this particular equation, because he used that elliptical exactly three times. So yeah, I should know by now that procuring things doesn’t change the fact that I am simply not someone who just needed a mat to become a yogi. Turns out, I should have worked on the part of my brain that never wants to do yoga. ALSO, I GUESS I’M NEVER RETURNING THESE LIBRARY BOOKS I’ve had the aforementioned unread library books for several months ARNA MILLER, PASTEL DOG - BEST OF 075
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