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It’s a rare day when one uncovers yet another reason to fear quicksand. Granted, there was only one to begin with but a sandy berth unto the planet carries a mortal consequence so great almost all of us can recall where we were when we first saw the death of Artax. Everybody under 40, check out The NeverEnding Story. I promise you this scene will hit. Bring a tissue. Skip the sequel. Yazoo City, Mississippi, 1884: A town that loved Vince Clarke so much they prematurely named it after one of his projects. Yazoo’s own Huck Finn, a child named Joe Bob Duggett, was rafting down the Yazoo River when he “heard moans coming from a house.” Which, of course, he decides to investigate. Yes, it does sound like a weird riverkid was spying on strangers to case their homes, but the story takes a decidedly un-Twainian turn. Allegedly Duggett — definite creep — witnessed a double human sacrifice. Two bodies were splayed on the floor as the owner of the house, a woman written off by the entire town to a degree that she historically has no name, appeared to be casting some kind of spell. Well, Joe Bob done freaked out and went back to his raft to go full town crier. He snitched out the clearly unwell woman who, supposedly, the entire town didn’t care for and, as is totally normal, is invited into the posse that goes to commit a homicide. Roughly the same amount of effort needed to become a police officer today. And like modern police, they did a noknock visit. They didn’t find a witch. Or any bodies. Almost like everything Duggett said wasn’t true. There’s of course no nearly equivalent historical event that rhymes with Halem, but that didn’t stop them from investigating. What was found was an attic full of starving cats, supposedly two skeletons and an old (old seems very subjective in articles about her, by the by) woman leaping from a window to escape a bunch of dudes that she knew were there to kill her. Here’s where the sand becomes quick. She was pursued into the woods and got all caught up in the swamp. To the point that Duggett, on his deathbed, talked about seeing her fall under, cursing the town as she died. As curses go, it was pretty emphatic. Turning children into squirrels? Naw. Making every cooked pizza many toes? Again, no (but like, no shame if that works for you). She declared that in exactly 20 years the town would be burned. Burn it did. May 25, 1904: Something happened. Probably an oven gone awry. Flames were said to be leaping building to building with supernatural alacrity. The wind they said. Twenty buildings. It’s just the wind, we can put it out. Fifty buildings. It’s just … It’s just … All of Yazoo City. They did do one right thing. They gave the unnamed witch a burial. They surrounded it with iron chains. Chains that broke the day their town burned. But it was a nice thing to do anyway. HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PARANORMAL? SEND THEM TO: WEREWOLFRADARPOD@GMAIL.COM OR TWITTER: @WEREWOLFRADAR IT’S A BIG, WEIRD WORLD. DON’T BE SCARED. BE PREPARED.

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