Romans. Because while some fairies were indeed kind and benevolent, others were cunning and avaricious, and almost all of them were considered incredibly dangerous. Most traditions agree there are two types of fairies. The nice ones, who are members of the Seelie Court, and the mean ones, who belong to the Unseelie Court. But whether you encounter a beautiful water nymph or a surly hobgoblin, to deal with a fairy is to court disaster. See, fairies have hundreds of little rules and they are almost always trying to trick you. Forget a piece of fairy etiquette or lose a guessing game to one and you are almost certainly going to be whisked away to the fairy world to dance forever until your feet fall off or some other such twisted fate. Seriously, one of their favorite things is to make people party until they die. Picked the wrong flower from the side of an enchanted stream? Oops! Now you’re doing keg stands for all eternity while a leprechaun spins house music. And that’s honestly just the tip of the pointy hat. Fairies love to steal babies and replace them with ravenous fairy babies called changelings. Fairies will sour a cow’s milk, make you become hopelessly lost in the forest, cause misfortune to shadow your every step or might just make you disappear altogether. Sometimes a fairy makes a human fall in love with them and then fuck off back to the fairy realm, leaving the person to wither away, pining for their fairy love until they die from that shit. Nobody should ever have to die that thirsty a death. So what are you supposed to do about them? Well respect is a huge thing with fairies and many people placate them with regular offerings of food and drink. If you do encounter o f th fir flk b l li Never break etiquette, ne in some sort of game, m Simpsons: Hit & Run. If you are out walking in a p appear, make sure to stee walking through the wood circle of mushrooms or flo Yep, fairy circle, walk aroun Fairies can be warded off with talismans of salt, homemade bread or pig iron (though they would likely see this as an insult) and can even be befuddled away if you wear your clothes inside out. Finally, it is said that fairies began to disappear from the world when humans started to try and make order out of it. As a result, fairies exist mostly in the spaces between these uniquely human demarcations. The border between one property and another for instance, or the stroke of midnight, or perhaps at a crossroads. But the very best time of year to encounter a fairy, is on the day that one season gives way to another, aka the fall equinox, aka September, 22, 2024. Now just because the equinox is coming up does not mean you should go looking for fairies! I know you probably heard that if you catch a fairy it has to grant you a wish, or if you catch a leprechaun it has to give you its gold, or if you catch 30 to a 100 pixies you can make sweet and tangy pixie preserves that, when eaten on toast, make you able to dunk. But trust me, it’s just not worth it. Unless you are really good at riddles. Like really, really good at riddles. In which case you need to email Werewolf Radar directly then meet me at the crossroads with a tennis racket and a beekeepers mask. Them preserves is as good as ours. Have questions about the paranormal? Send them to werewolfradarpod@gmail.com or on Twitter: @WerewolfRadar. It’s a big, weird world. Don’t be scared. Be Prepared. HAYDEN AUGUSTINE, FISHBOI 3
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