DIRECTED by Joshua Viola STARRING: Bret & Jeanni Smith, Paul Campion, Warren Hammond, Angie Hodapp, Alvaro Zinos-Amaro, Dayton Ward, Kevin Dilmore, Betty Rocksteady, Keith Ferrell, Gary onas, Mario Acevedo, Orrin Grey, Sean Eads, oshua Viola, K. Nicole Davis, Stephen Graham Jones, Steve Rasnic Tem, Kevin J. Anderson ARTWORK by AJ Nazzaro (covers), Xander Smith (black & white inside illustrations), Aaron Lovett (inside flipbook illustrations) A HEX PUBLISHERS BOOK, IN PARTNERSHIP WITH THE COLORADO FESTIVAL OF HORROR ticket stubs — and severed limbs; your comfort candy — and body bags. Kick back and scream as you settle into a fate worse than Hell with fourteen full features. Tonight's director's cut is guaranteed to slash you apart. [EXCERPT] ALIEN PARASITES FROM OUTER SPACE BY WARREN HAMMOND Moths swarm the hot-pink neon of the Meteor brought Welcome to tonight's feature presentation, to you by an unholy alliance of our spellcasters at Hex Publishers and movie-mages at the Colorado Festival of Horror. Please be advised that all emergency exits have been locked for this special nostalgia-curdled premiere of death. From crinkling celluloid to ferocious flesh — from the silver screen to your hammering heart — behold as a swarm of werewolves, serial killers, Satanists, Elder Gods, aliens, ghosts, and unclassifiable monsters are loosed upon your auditorium. Relax, and allow our ushers to help with your buckets of popcorn — and blood; your Drive-In marquee as Carl Cramer pedals past. The long driveway leads steeply downhill, and Carl lets the bike pick up speed, the rush of July air cooling his sweaty face. He brakes as the hill levels out and stops at the ticket booth. He pulls a five from the pocket of his no-name jeans and hands it to Scar-y Joe. Not scary, though most wouldn’t hesitate to use that word to describe Joe. It’s scar-y, as in burns all over his face. Joe hands back three singles. “It’s a good one tonight,” he says. “A classic.” Carl pockets his change. “Is it true about the director?” Joe nods. His head is a splotchy patchwork of hair and scar tissue. Some say he was in a fiery car crash. Others say it happened in Vietnam. Nobody seems to know which. “Directed by Jasper Ried,” he says. “Born and raised right here in Janesburg, Nebraska.” “Did you know him?” “I did. Best of friends for a time.” A car horn makes Carl jump. A Ford pickup has pulled in behind him, headlights blinding him. “Hurry up, Cramer,” shouts a male voice. Andy Demps. Carl raises a middle finger and mouths a silent fuck you. It’s not the smartest move, but at the moment, he doesn’t care how hard that twohundred-and-seventy-pound asshole can punch. The sooner Andy leaves town to play O-line for the Huskers, the better. He’s somewhat surprised and more than a little relieved to see the truck’s door stay closed. Carl shades his eyes, but the headlights are too bright to gauge Andy’s reaction. Scar-y Joe, though, he thinks this is hilarious. His laugh is more of a cackle, his shoulders bouncing up and down with each snicker. The truck lunges forward, and a startled Carl releases his ten-speed and jumps aside, though he knows immediately it’s a feint. The Ford has moved only a foot forward, and Carl hears laughter from inside. Feeling the flush in his cheeks, Carl snatches his bike and pedals through the gate into the flat-bottomed crater where the Meteor Drive-in resides. It was a big attraction thirty years ago, just like the Meteor Mini Putt, the Meteor Motel, and the Crater Slide. That was before I-80 was
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