The series We Should Talk About This was planned to start last semester. It was supposed to start with a conversation with the AUBG counselor, but needless to say, the counselor was not too enthusiastic to cooperate and contribute. A couple of back-and-forth emails later, she stopped replying and, therefore, the interview never happened. Once we fi gure out how to bridge the gaps between diff erent members of the AUBG community, we will certainly have a better and safer space. Annie’s case is another touching story and brings up many diff erent aspects of mental health. about her struggles. “I was too scared to even tell my friends or family.” What is more, her partner was a teacher. With the eight-year -gap, Annie was well aware of the uneven power dynamic which complicated things even more. She tried her best to keep up with her studies at AUBG and even joined two clubs. Yet behind the curtains, Annie was drowning in tears. “I was so devastated that I tried to commit suicide. I had to do something because it was so hard for me to handle the situation,” she shared. Her partner would go from being abusive to convincing her that he loved and cared for her. She felt perplexed and lost: “It is never always bad, that is why it was confusing.” Annie tried going to diff erent therapists. One of them told her that she was in a codependent relationship, while the other asked her to not go back: “Because I was not doing a ‘proper’ job. I just could not because it was so mentally exhausting for me.” Annie spent her fi rst year in her home country because of Covid. Right before joining AUBG, she started dating a guy, who at fi rst seemed like a very nice and pleasant person. Yet, things took a radical turn in the relationship, and it soon turned abusive. “By that, I mean not just mental abuse but physical abuse too,” she shared. Considering how the cases of domestic abuse are treated in her country, Annie was very hesitant to speak up For her sophomore year, Annie managed to come to AUBG, which made the situation slightly more bearable as her partner was now far away and could not physically touch her. She tried to cut ties with him multiple times, but never successfully: “I blocked him on social media accounts, but he would start messaging me on Gmail or a bank app.” “Please forgive me. I will kill myself. I cannot be without you,” were his words to her. In her junior year, Annie met her current boyfriend. She found comfort with him and managed to open up and share her pain. “Having a person who listened to me and did not blame me was new,” she said. Whenever Annie tried to share her struggles with people around her, she would be blamed or called dramatic. So, this was a fresh start for her. Annie still has nightmares and panic attacks. In addition to her personal 11 Fall 2024 | AUBG Daily problems, the political situation in her home country was very troubled, which intensifi ed her anxiety. “I did not have anybody here (at AUBG). I ‘lost’ so much time in my freshman year. It makes me angry,” she added. She noted that over time she has made a lot of progress. “I can talk about it now without bursting into tears,” she said, “I reached the realization that if I do not help myself, then no one really will.” Annie brought up an interesting metaphor: “Imagine that you are a fl ower. In order for it to fully grow, it needs sunlight. And if it has been deprived of sunlight for too long, it may still be alive but it needs a lot of support, like a wooden stick attached to it. You should also give it some water. That is how we are.” “It is probably impossible to get rid of all the trauma, but you can learn how to manage it and accept the bad moments too,” Annie added. She emphasized the issue of stigma: “Crying and being unwell is a normal way of processing grief, expressing emotions. It should be understood.” The conversation then switched to AUBG and gossip culture at AUBG. “It is frustrating. People do not know what is actually happening and still…” And still… They gossip, make assumptions, say thoughtless jokes, and go out of their way to label somebody. We should talk about this, and we should keep doing so. Mental health must not be stigmatized, if anything, it must be the loudest and most frequent conversation topic for us. To be continued… You can read the full version of the article at www.aubgdaily.com Editors: Toma Krumov and Niya Manditsch Ia E ba ka ko dz e
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