14

Grumpy Old Git World of the wars Achtung Baby! A little while ago I was, as usual, engaged in my never-ending charity work. This consists of trawling round various charity shops for books. (Marie Curie, Age Concern, you name it. I spread my good deeds far and wide.) I was very pleased to find in one of them two hardback omnibus editions of the old Commando War Picture Library Magazines. These were, as the name suggests, illustrated war stories of a slightly jingoistic nature. Now, some time ago I wrote about how I’d picked up a fair few German words and phrases from these magazines when I was younger. Of course, as I got older and started going to Germany and Austria on a regular basis I found that this was, to say the least, a bit redundant. There seemed little call for my ability to recognise a minefield. In the stories these were always clearly signposted. (‘Achtung! Der Minen!’) Quite why they did this Steve Parry City plan Lack of Council funding for St James Street O n Thursday 24 March our elected representatives agreed a City Plan. This may sound mundane and irrelevant to our daily lives but it determines the money that is spent in St James’ Street and Kemp Town over the next few years. I doubt if there is anyone, whatever their political views, who would question the need to reduce pollution, especially from traffic congestion, in St James’ Street. I have yet to speak to anyone who believes that our geographical area and social community is not central to the attractiveness of Brighton for visitors from elsewhere. Yet we are ignored in terms of planning and investment. Our local councillors appear to have no idea of what is required and have not made one single contribution to the discussion on the City Plan that would benefit St James’ Street and Kemp Town. Investment in transport was also agreed by the Council last week yet, again, we are ignored. I challenge our councillors to say what they have done or even said that benefits our area. Judging from comments on the St James’ Street and Kemptown Facebook Community Page councillors do not even deal adequately with simple requests to ensure security on scaffolding or any form of support for residents having to deal with the Kafkaesque bureaucracy of housing and Council Tax Benefits, never mind Discretionary Housing Payments and the exploitation of council property leaseholders. I don’t know, since there seems little point in spending all that time and trouble laying a minefield then putting a sign up warning the enemy so they can cunningly sneak round the side. Likewise, I found conversations with German barmen very limited armed only with the phrases; “All is good” and “Entry forbidden.” Anyway, back to the books. Upon re-reading them I discovered something else that I’d completely forgotten; the Wehrmacht were very bad at spelling. To take just one example, a small unit of Germans have foolishly camped at the base of a cliff. I say foolishly because on top of the cliff are a band of British Commandos setting fire to a lorry-load of explosives, preparatory to shoving it over the edge. The next panel shows German troops running in all directions as the blazing truck comes plummeting towards them. “Gott in Himmel” they shriek, and “Donner und blitzen!” I don’t know about you, but I think in these circumstances I would be using rather more colourful language than ‘God in Heaven!’ and ‘Thunder and lightning!’ Mind you, in these books the Germans had the vocabulary of Cicero compared to the poor old Italians. The only expression of dismay at being in the midst of a huge conflagration they ever used was ‘Sapristi!’ And I don’t even know what that means. Anyway, I hope all this encourages you to buy these books if you come across them and be glad that in this 21st Century we don’t have to worry about World Wars anymore. Councillors Adrian Morris, Karen Barford, and Daniel Chapmen please do something or go the way that Stephanie Powell and Geoffrey Bowden went who, also believed, PR would hide any lack of real action. We, St James’ Street and Kemp Town COMMUNITY are mentioned in the City Plan as a “District Centre” for shopping but nothing else. Is this good enough? I must emphasise that we are the only significant area in the city not included in the present Plan covering the period up to 2030. Our Community is thriving, it is vibrant, and is central to the appeal of Brighton for visitors from throughout the UK and beyond, yet our councillors and Council officers do nothing to ensure the economic and social viability of our community. I must repeat what I said over 2 years ago, It is our fault we have reached this situation - a total lack of solidarity and organisation - together with an abysmal record by our local councillors (not just the present incumbents but those from other parties in the past). I also am concerned as to the role of some senior officers as, despite not being a conspiracist, I often feel there are some who oppose the presence and significance of our cosmopolitan (and) Gay Village.